Show F I am In faVor of spelling reform Glad to hear It Come round and give my stenographer a few points wont you Philadelphia Ledger Weve got n new cookcome out tc dinner I have an engagement Ill come tomorrow No use cook leaves tomorrow Cleveland Lender You mustnt kiss me until we are formally engaged lIDo you always Insist upon that rule Ive always tried toLlfe Speculation Peculation Investigation Incarceration Lots of men said Uncle Allen dparks nre useless In this world because be-cause they are merely well wishers instead in-stead of belnj well diggers Chtcaeo Tribune Why do you book agents never shut the door behind you Inquired the victim Is It carelessness No III replied the book agent its caution ° Philadelphia Record Why do you want to reform our I spelling Because answered Mr I Dustin Star thats the only way I can be an out audout reformer without with-out hitting some of my financial friends WndLiiuton Star Queer Idc lenks In advertising to trade his auto for a mule wasnt it There was some logic In It He says It Its a case ot eternal swearing he wants something with cars to swear at Milwaukee Sentinel Your friend Deeply said the edt tor left some verses wih me today that were quite amusing Indeed I exclaimed Redcr I didnt think he was a humorous writer Neither does he Philadelphia Press Now doth the orator orate And criticise and blow But he alarms no candidate Defended by the dough Well little one how many brothers broth-ers and sisters have you got One brother and one sister How many have you got Im better off than you Ive got four of each Oh then your mother have got eight to wash Punch Do you think investigations bring about substantial and permanent reforms re-forms Not in most most cases answered Senator Sorghum Their chief function Is to satisfy human natures na-tures universal craving to know the worst Washington Star A small boy who was brought as a witness before an eminent judge was asked by His Honor if he knew the nature of an oath Well I ought ter replied the boy Ive been Your Honors Hon-ors caddie for two years Harpers Weekly TlmlclnsJ hear that young Stringer I String-er came to an untimely end In Arizona Ari-zona SImklns Yes He went therewith there-with the intention of living by his wits Tlmklns Poor follow He ought to have known he didnt have sutllclent capital for au undertaking like that Chicago Dally News The Congressional committee on hazing haz-ing made Its report We find It said that If all the guilty were pun shed by expulsion there would be noth ing left of the academy but the build ings and a caretaker Naturally this caused a leaning to the side of mercy Philadelphia Ledger |