Show I I I I I 1 I t J l i 1 I I II t JOHN HENRY r piii r Ak ML PLAYS POOL By HUGH McliUGH GEORGE V HOBART J L t 1111 j L L ICI I I V = kill I UNDKIl A CKOSStlUIS PHOM TUT tHAIHWARMKHS Did you ever drop In of un evening and try to play pool under a crossfire I from the chairwarmers Its tho limit It has golf slapped to u standoilll nd pony polo isnt one two nine From the moment you reach for your cue the aofapoundcrfl cut loose and chin you to a calldown Breaw em easy now says old Thirsty Bill All tho afternoon Ices boon siting up with some Ice and a bottle of Wilson Thats all Ho has to close one eyo and squint 1ho other when he looks at you but tins as wise as a weasel If you stood him up ho wouldnt know the 14 ball from tho cuspidor One of those old dubs thats never happy unless lies teasing his throat with booze or talk Then Red Necktlo rolls hit barrel In tho whop and cuts a conundrum Why dont you play tho 8 ball In the side sidenod Tied Nooktlo only played one gamy In his life and that was tag Somebody caught him then with the goods and all ho has done since Is cuddle cud-dle down In a chair and tell people how to make fancy with the cue Then the three BIxby Brothers Shine Polish and Glisten start In to write epigrams Play the round ball suggests Shine Chalk your feet and you wont slip observes Polish Play the yellow ball In the cozy corner chirps Glisten and old Thirsty Thirs-ty Bill laughs so heartily over this Plnorolsm that Glisten swells up and buys Thirsty another tub Then Longhaired Lemuel crawla under the ropes and begins to offer suggestions sug-gestions in u hoarse whisper Longhaired Lemuel won a fiftypoint gnmo onco from tho champion player of Tloga County and over since hen been sitting up In the rack throwing down hints to tho slow walkers Try tho combination on the 7ball for the corner croaks Longhaired lemuol Now tho gag Is that from where Lem nol sits you couldnt see tho 7balI with the Lick telescope In hops Willie McSweet the Vlllagci Beauty Wllllo Is tho lad with the loft full of light conversation and Mama lets him stay out till 915 every evening Willie traveled over the New York Central once as far as Albany and when ho came homo his fond parents had to put baseball masks on his head foro and aft to keep It from bursting Ah says Wllllo playing pool No remarks Glisten theyre putting put-ting up a picket fence and old Thirsty J C rvn Cr z r JI94zLWi ffr1TPt1 ji THIUSTY BILL Bill hands outa laugh which nets him another dipper Then theres the Mister Man youre playing with I was entered it handicap that evenIng even-Ing with a chap named Diddle Diddle Is one of those low comedians who throw out catchlines and wait for the laugh His line of gags dates back to the days when this D 0 was first built Nowadays when I hear a poolroom comedian speaking lines about getting seasick on the B 0 Im wise to the fact that ho dips In tho Farmers Al name for his comedy stuff DIddle likes to knock Ho says hed rather be Alan Dale than be President because Dale can throw tho hammer and get back to hh safety deposit vaults without a scratch Ho says its a cinch to bo dramatic toaster and trimmer when you can hide In the tall grass and do your knocking through a longdlstanco newspaper Anyway thats neither here nor thereWhat What are you playing for I laid to fiddle The ball Im looking at he 1Ul w rd Theres n slight difference of opinion between fiddles eyea they have opposite oppo-site points of views as It were I figured It out that tho ball he was looking at was tho one Thirsty Bill was fondling but I didnt say anything I was due to hear a loud holler from the old un If Blddle played that ball What Is it now I Inquired The one I hit Did you ever meet one of those follows fol-lows who says The one 1 hit and l I I k I VIII1E then smashes In to seven balls and claims everything drops Dont they jolt you By this time Thirsty Bill had all his lights up Ho had the borders burning and u calcium spot followed him around Can shu play comnashun on zat pink monkey ash suttln on green ball he asked and then ho went down am outI I put up my cut and blue penciled the push Pool Is a great game but the chair crouchers put crepo on It Copyright by a AV Dillingham Co |