Show z4j jT I r J y jjj TIm2J I hJDCLJs I A LINE OF TALK I Two telephone girls were talking over limo wro one afternoon Tho nub jest of tho conversation was a lawn party which wan to take plnco tho next day Ilotli were discussing what they should wear tumid after live minutes min-utes had como to no decision In the midst of thin important conversation con-versation n masculine voice interrupted interrup-ted asking humbly whnt number he I had The lack of reply did not squelch the Inquirer for ho asked again for I the number One of tho girls became indignant and scornfully asked What lino do you think you are on anyhow Vell said the man I am not I sure but Judging from what I have heard I should Bay 1 was on a clothesline I clothes-line I Coming Down Easy Inquiries after tho welfare of Patrick I Pat-rick Conroy were answered by his devoted de-voted friend Terence Dolan who was I at the Conroys In the double capacity of nurse and cook No hes not dangerous dan-gerous hurt at all was Mr Dolans reply to a solemnly whispered question ques-tion at tho door We heard ho had a bad fall and was all broke to pieces whispered tho neighbor Tls a big Hthry youve heard said i Mr Dolan In his cheerful roar Thruo ho fell oftn tho roof o tho Brady I stables where he was sblnglln an he broke his lift leg knocked out a couple o teeth an broke his collar bone Mind ye It hed have fell clear to the ground It might have hurted him had but share there was a big pile of nhtones and lumber that broke his fallYouths Companion TOO NARROW f 1 Wl y EllenAre yon going abroad this cpring Srnust No EllenWhy not Krnest My moans are too narrow to be abroad What Killed the Cat Little Davey Sloan Is forever asking questions Youd hotter keep still or something some-thing will happen to you his tired mother finally told him ono night Curiosity once killed a cat you know Davey was so Impressed with this that ho kept silent for three minutes Then Say mother what w tllt the cat wanted to know Evaryhodys Not Aesthetic A new theory states that the solar plexus and not the heart is tho seat of affection I cant subscribe to such a theory No How would you like to receive a a valentine covered all over with diagrams dia-grams of the solar plexus FATHER WASNT HANDSOME I y K + I Mrs Numuthor I dont like it Everybody nays baby looks like his father Visitor Well 1 wouldnt worry dear It doesnt so much matter In a boy you know Real Brave The speaking suffragette was ai white hoI There are no cowards In our ranks slid shouted In a penetrating voice Every day yon pass our bravo sisters on tho streets They must ho bravo to wear the style of hats they dot shouted the little man on the last bench and the next moment he was running for his Ifo AN OLD STORY Tills life IM nn old nM story Told oer and ncr iiKtln Thai sum of rams poor dory Tim heartache rind the pain The profitless turmolllriR Tho ncvcromllng strife Tho yours of bitter tolling The fond ambitions rife Thin life Is nn old old story Told oer mid oVr again A soldier lent mid gory On n crowded Imttlo plain A task left linlrcomplclcd A sigh n lonely grave For the victor anil the ilefontod lor the cowuiil and the bravo MEASURE FOR MEASURE I 11 I i O 1 11 I 1 X11I I 1I 1 I Cheerful SmithEver notice anything any-thing remarkable about carpets llrowne No how dyou mean Smith They aro bought by the yard and worn by tho foot Perfidy Properly Punished Is It true Mildred asked the sweetfaced softvoiced matron caressing cares-sing her beautiful daughters golden brown hair that Lillian Garllnghorn tried to supplant you in the esteem of Lieut Ketchley She made a stab at It yawned Miss Mildred I wasnt particularly crushed on the loot hut when I got wise to the fact that Lll Garllnghorn was trying to cut In I thought Id just show her that I had her beaten to a cold Htoragp omelet and 1 did it Social Paradox Its impossible for me to dress on 5000 a year Well my love you must wear less Dont be silly You know perfectly perfect-ly well that the less I wear tho more It costsJudge TOO BUSY I 1 r b J I I It li > 111 < f Grandpa Would Earllo like to come into the garden and play circus With grandpa Earlle Weller Im rather busy Just now giandpa Couldnt you go and play by yourself Persist of Interview And what are your opinions con corning the tariff l must decline to be interviewed answered Senator Sorghum Hut you will make speeches on the subject Of course But I can handle a speech so that people will wonder what I am getting at you would Insist In-sist on letting them know precisely what I mean Easy to Carry I Why 1 see you have sent little I I Wllllo for beer fbr he I first time and that you have given him two jags to carry Why did you do this I did it so that with one In each hand he could keep his balance hotter hot-ter NOT A CONFIDENCE GAME Foxy HoosIer Corn eh Well youll have to offer It to me with both bands |