Show I Kindness Wasted on Mules Notwithstanding the graphic picturesque pictur-esque and vigorous language tho mule driver was using he was a man who evidently hadseen hotter days and when the elderly matron with the shocked and grieved expression of countenance reproved him for his reckless style of talk and suggested that ho use kindness on the animals ho apologized Ill try your recipe maam he said Come Hellatrlc Come Betel i geese This leisurely manner of I yours Is nnsatlsfatcory you know Kindly infuse a little more animation into your movements You are lagging lag-ging behind the procession Arc you not aware ray amiable quadrupeds that this consignment of merchandise Is due at Its place of destination two hours hence Allow me to direct tho circumstance your attention to that at your present rato of locomotion locomo-tion wo shall be one hour or more he hind our schedule In arriving Pardon Par-don me Bellatrlc hut there Is no necessity ne-cessity for agitating your caudal appendage ap-pendage There aro no files at this season of tho year You will oblige me greatly by concentrating jour energies en-ergies upon an immediate solution of tho traction problem exemplified you y-ou as the motive power and this vehicle ve-hicle with its contents as tho thing to ho moved Iletelguese may I remind you that you are doing what Is known In vulgar parlance as soldiering I regret the necessity of appealing to your seiibo of honor but tho case Is urgent If It wero not absolutely necessary nec-essary I assure you I should not address ad-dress yen In terms of remonstrance Please bo more expeditious both of you and I pledge you my word you will loso nothing by It It doesnt seem to do any good maam Now you get out of this or Ill wallop tho hide of you you brutes Whack Tho caravan hereupon moved forward for-ward at a greatly accelerated rate of speed leaving a horrified elderly woman standing gasping and speechless speech-less on tho street corner Chicago Tribune |