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Show : I A Line o' Tvr-.z or Tivo ' I ' ! I 'Lord, what focls theso mortals be.'l I T Ey B. L. T. In 1316 the population of China was 331. 041!. 000; that of Japan way 55,45, That is one reason why we cannot get excited about Shantung. And we suspect that the Chinese are equally ca'm. Tilings Are About the Same Today. (From the Chicago Journal of 1S7J.) Cairo, 111. Information was received here today to the effect that a man named Newell was killed in Mississippi county, Mo., a day or two ago by another an-other man named Lett, at the request of a man named Francis, who was having a fight with Newell about a dog which belonged to the latter and had followed the former home. The murder seems to have been without any justification whatever. It rained here last night and the weather is cooler today. A Reasonable Bequest. (From the Wet Mountain, Colo., Tribune.) To whom it may concern: The Bull-Domingo Bull-Domingo Mines and Development Co. desires de-sires that all parties who may have taken cars, rails, pumps, and other material ma-terial away from said property return them immediately, as the company is about to resume operations. Another Cerebral Lesion. (From the IMatts mouth, Neb., Journal.) Then last of all came the radiant bride on the arm of her father. She was gowned in the Infinite charms of bridal white gleaming and quivering from char-meuse char-meuse under a veil. of graceful tulle. The soft Pa tin was easily draped Into a becoming be-coming skirt that trailed oh so satisfactorily satisfac-torily behind. The cap to the bewitching veil was formed by an ornament of tulle and pearls making a band about the head. During the service the gracious glances of the bride could not disturb the groom's most serious moments, and now the days of friendship have lost their dominion and joyous affection holds absolute sway. Two hearts that have floated on the soft-swaying soft-swaying pinion, kind Heaven has bound for eternal day. Innumerable readers have taken pen In hand to point out the most glaring error in the Houghton Mining Gazette's paragraph: para-graph: "B. L. T. writes an alleged column col-umn of humor," etc. The error resides, they appear to think, in the very beginning. Famous Triple Plays. Tinker to Evers to Chance. Grayson to Ruffin to Stitt. "I notified vou last week," reminds E. F , "that Mr. Beerend had joined a Milwaukee Mil-waukee agency. Ain't the mall service rotten nowadays?" Booting for Safety. Sir: Dost know that all railroads under federal control have united In a "No accident acci-dent drive" from October 18 to 31, Inclusive? In-clusive? Here goes to lino up the Line. Now, then: O You Pay Day! Let's all decide, from day to day. To do our work the "safety" way: So when the pay car comes to town, Smith, Jones and "White, and Gray, and Brown, And every mother's son may say, "I drew full time hip, hip, hurray!" F. B. T. A new song by Rossetter Cole is announced: an-nounced: "In My Father's House Are Many Mansions (Two Keys)." Front door and back? Our Country's Father. XI. Washington was an attentive lover and husband, A thorough farmer; and at his leisure, a .iolly sportsman. His bruised arms he thought were hung up through all eternity. He thought now to live a life of real serenity. XII. But this was not yet to be, for In Seventeen Seven-teen Seventy-five The war for American independence began be-gan to thrive. And he, as commander-in-chief of the army of this continent. During the entire struggle seldom to Mt. Vernon went. XIII. In Philadelphia, with that grand old hell, The end of British rule was tolled full well; And on July fourth. Seventeen Seventy-six, Seventy-six, American independence was forever fixed. XIV. And Its declaration by him was signed, With true love for his country foremost in mind. America's freedom was sounded to all, With that good, old Liberty Boll at Independence Inde-pendence Hall. , "Wanted Stenographer One with some knowledge preferred. Foster Press Foundries." Foun-dries." Cedar Rapids Gazette. Employers are getting more unreasonable unreason-able every day. Our Opulent Language. Sir: If your contrihs will read "The American language" they will make the stupidity of their remarks about the Belgian Bel-gian hare apparent. Mr. Mencken points out that our "rabbits" are really hares, all except the Belgian hare, which is a rabbit. INDIFFERENT. "Shantung Wins E5 to 33." Headline. A big score for a league game, as H. E. X. observes. But it wasn't much of a game. As for Us, Blinders. Sir: I am putting a special delivery stamp on this in order to be among the first ten to inform you that if women's styles continue to progress upward and downward, wf shall soon have absolute freedom of the see. S. T. M. "Senator Sherman paid his respects to the British empire." A dramatic moment in tho history of the world. The Second Post. (Received by a milling company.) Dear Sir: What are we going to do with the flour. There is full of bugs in your flour and we did not believe" the people about it and so I see that is true. What shall we do with it and there some cause about it, and we have it in a good dry place, ami I did not think about it so we do believe it. We had bought flour from Hernys and kept it 7 or 6 months and it did not turn into such thing as that. What will wo do with it sir, or send it back, or not come and look about it. there was some reasing about it. it is some old flour you had. And answer soon back. And it isn't only three months we got it. What Do You Know About That? Sir: The patient in the next room exclaims on receiving guests or flowers. "Well, what do you know about that?" The whole corridor Is thus entertained several times a day. What shall I do? W. 214. Commercial Candor. Sir : From a circular letter: "Do not let any one talk you into trading your Stanton for other unmarketable securities." se-curities." JI. G. C. Moteorological. Sir: "Rainey Tlans Wet Move," asserts as-serts a headline, lie's the boy to start It. Congressman Mudd can come in later. CALCITKUSL'S. "Gather yo foursomes while yo may." |