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Show tfJh.p;pr V IMAGINARY DIALOGUES: GARGANTUA AND TOTO ("All efforts to get Gargantua, the circus gorilla, and Toto, the Cuban gorilla imported to be his mate, to be friends have failed." - News item.) Gargantua (after one look) Am I seeing things? Toto That's Just what I was ask-ing ask-ing myself. Gargantua I don't know what you are, but do me a favor and scram. Toto Listen, Funny Face, I'm not here of my own accord. This visit isn't my idea. Gargantua-Well, it certainly isn't mine. Gee, but you're a homely dame. Toto That goes double for you. If I was as ugly as you I'd do something about it Gargantua (sadly) -There's only one thing you can do about it, and that's Join a circus. Toto That's what I'm here for now I Gargantua So that's it! They're trying to co-star me! Well they can't do that to me. Toto Calm yourself. It's not my idea. Gargantua Nobody could get you here if you didn't want to come. Toto A dozen men brought me here. Gargantua You could have licked em all! Toto You must have read Arthur Ar-thur Brisbane. Gargantua Aw, go away, please! It was tough enough around here when there was only one of us. Toto Didn't you ever think of getting get-ting married? Gargantua No, that's my press agent's idea. Toto Two can live as cheap as one, Gargie. Gargantua Yes, but what do I care what I cost this circus. It's got plenty of dough. Toto What you need is a nice wife. Gargantua Where would I find one? Toto How about me? Gargantua (with a look of horror) I'm not monkey enough to marry a girl with a mug like yours. Toto You're no Jungle Clark Gable yourself. Gargantua Maybe not, but I've got prestige. I'm probably the most famous gorilla in the world. Toto You're just another big gorilla go-rilla to me. Gargantua Where did you come from, anyhow? Toto Cuba. Gargantua Now I know what caused all that unrest there! Toto Lissen, you can't insult me like that. I wouldn't take you for a husband. If I was your wife I'd give you poison. Gargantua And if I was your husband I'd take it. Both (in a fury) You BIG GORILLA! BANKING BY TIMETABLE A bank has been opened in a railroad rail-road depot at New Rochelle, N. Y and it is at least a novel idea. The country has always wanted to see a demonstration of how money could be withdrawn or deposited at full gallop by a man with his arms full of garden tools and his coat half off. Elmer Twitchell wants to know if the depot banks runs on eastern standard or daylight saving time. And there is sure to be the con-fused con-fused commuter who isn't certain whether he was to deposit $8 Just before the 7:55 a. m. or deposit 7:55 just before the $8 pulled in. The U. S. treasury announces that, despite metal priorities, it will con-tinue con-tinue to issue nickels. This country has got to have a coin that will do the work the penny used to do, or nearly so. Congressmen grow gabby at cocktail cock-tail parties and spill important war information, it is alleged. And probably prob-ably it's true. Congressmen are tatty enough when they're cold so- fourth ?J,nWhen 'te on eir fourth old-fashioned. STEAM TOWEL VICTIM There's nothing that's hotter than barbershop water. Merrill Chilcote. Ima Dodo, starting her serine plaint: 'No matter how I pia a garden, it never comes up the wa" they do at the Flower Show " CAN YOU REMEMBER mnn?y b3Ck When 8 tank was com-monly com-monly accepted as just a fellow whe could stand a lot of lager ber? During that prolonged drugstore . ke ,n New York thousands of tC 8 chance t0 |