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Show II Writo it Soptombor 1. Every dog has his day also his Hen. Teddy is no coward, and yet he may run. Too many cyo-opcncrs causo total blindness. , What Kaiser Wilhelm means is that he will never say it ucsin. To be occasionally bilious is better j than ta be an eternal grouch. Even tho little that man wants hero below costs too much to get. A "painless dentist" sounds as reasonable rea-sonable as a deathless undertaker. Apostle-Senator Smoofc likos to talk about thincs, but the tariff isn 't otio of 'cm. In Oklahoma they have chanced it: An Indian and his money are soon parted. Sometimes tho man who has made the biggest fool of himself looks wisest to cover it up. No need for Mrs. Nick Longworth to admonish tho anti-cigarette league to watch her smoko. 1 At present prices, whoro is tho man who has more money than he knows what to do with? Among the others that hnvo with-stood with-stood tho genoral onslaught, tho glue trust still sticks. Far bettor is it to lay a stono on the corner of a building than to throw one at the other fellow. But tho Colonel will observe that Ja-pan Ja-pan succeeded in annexing Korea with-out with-out making a particle of noise. H. Some women have written some lct- tors that they wish they had given to their thoughtless husbands to post. lf Nr. Roosevelt is really setting tho paco for this campaign, ovory brass Hj band in the country will be kept busy. H' Another difference between tho Presi-i Presi-i dent and the ex-President is that tho President doesn't know how to "frame it up." "Griscom sees signs," says tho Phil-adelphia Phil-adelphia Record. Tho enso becomes serious when they get into aV conditiou like thnt. Uncle .loo Cannon says that he is ' awaiting an expression of the will of tho poople. But why does ho rub his neck so? H, You'll never know which is to bo tho winning county ticket until tho Ameri-can Ameri-can party convention names it on Scp-tcmber Scp-tcmber 24th. "Teddy cheered at every stop,' reads a nows heading. At tho paco he is coing, no wonder he "cheered at every stop." H1 ' v "Tnke the elevator" is a very com-mona com-mona very polite, but a very safe, in-H in-H vitation; becauso the blooming tiling is Hj 100 heavy to carry away. What the church Republican ward hcolorB want to know is who is to bo i set apart by their "prophet" to knock the hoops off the tithing barrel. " Standard Oil docs not employ red-H; red-H; haired sirens in its business," declares Mr. Archbold. No; tho "siren" that Hj haB lured in tho cash wcarH a toupee. 1' C'oluucl C. Eil. Loose, of Provo and "'0 church Rcppuljlican party, is uo tightwad; but his intimation is to the effect thnt the Federal bunchcrs will find no Loose change in him. |