OCR Text |
Show The main push Boost. ! : I' It would be .iusl s reasonable for men to wear overcoats that button up the back. I It is impossible to make a silk purse out of a sow's ear, or a prophet out of a polygiunjsl. A week from tomorrow morning, children, chil-dren, you will be 6a3iu, "Good morning, morn-ing, teacher! ! ( Report is that Mr. Ilarriman is better; bet-ter; but it is hard to decide if he is better again or yet. More trouble in Athens. If the thine keeps on there is liable to be nothing but a Greece spot left Now it's Curtiss. It's getting so we can't tell who is champion aviator for i two minutes in succession. OrTiccrs of the law continue to furnish fur-nish proof to offenders that Salt. Lake's Sunday lid muai. not be pried off. A Kentucky ncgress died after having hav-ing eaten five watermelons; but any colored person would die for five watermelons. water-melons. "Put not your trust in ante-election J promises," warns the Baltimore Amori-I Amori-I can. No; it is better to pin your faith J on post-mortem results. ' New York also had a "clean-up day; ' ' but it was brought on by the weather- ! man dousing her with over five inches ', of rain within twenty-four hours. Newport, complains of a lobster fa-mine. fa-mine. Well, wo can't see anything for it but thej- nuifl; wait until the Euro- 1 rcan vacation tours arc ended. J "Walter Wcllman says that it is pos- ' Bible toi reach the north pole in a bal- ' loon in five days; but perhaps ho hasn't 1 been able to hit upon the right bunch 1 of five. The Nalionni Conservation Congress favors the limitation of water rights. Between these delegates nnd the pro-hibitionists, pro-hibitionists, ws all are liable soon to lead a mighty dry existence. A burglar entered a local residence and stole but ono of a pair of bracelets fl before he was frightened away. If h will call at police headquarters he will be presented with a complete pair. "If your family needs your money I don't want your trade," is said to bci sign hanging in a saloon at Grccupoint. Long Tsland. "Which sentiment is rc Bpcctully tossed over (0 the polvga-mous polvga-mous titho-grabbcrs. It seems that, on "Wall street nowa-days nowa-days they distinguish between bulls and bears by ascertaining who among the speculators declare that Mr. Ilarriman !s 1 health is improving and who declare Hj that it Is declining. Statistics shtiy that the average wage of tho workingwoman of this country is a little over two hundred dollars por annum; and any bachelor will tell yon that it is impossible for n man to iivo respectably on that amount. Apostlo Smoot did not cast one tariff j vote against the will of Aldricli; and 011 every 0110 of tho J2H 'votes he paid Hj "yea" to Aldrich's nod; so from that wo judge that he is carrying out the Mormon rule of blind obedience. j Having taken a oiiq-dollar bill ujrou which a Chicago girl had written her jtiamc, t man wants to marry the girl. r.f persistence lends to the fruition of his hope, lie may yet. live to conl'eiis Hint for' once in his lifo he took bad money. |