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Show I Bears on the stock exchange arc not all of the Teddy variety. Manv- dainties are found on the market mar-ket the women doing the shopping. The conspirators against the chief of police have found a Parrcnt for their story. Why not apply the treatment of her "belief to the financial affairs of Mrs. Eddy? , The McWhirters act us if they thought they hnd cast bread upon the waters, a ' " Apostle Smoot. has demonstrated the fact that he is a good teller of l)ad stories. A timely fake that has done one good -turn, surely ought to be expected to do another. That Salt Lake dog, Prophet Joe, is acting well up to his name by taking everything. Two-cent railroad fares might bo all right, if the' did not provoke a two-cent. two-cent. service. It is now realized that the ship subsidy sub-sidy bill found some very narrow straits in its voyage. Tt is lucky for tho sugar factories that tho farmers desiro to use the big kill f o on the beets only. Apparently Mr. ITarriman believes that. Mr. Roosevelt should give himself a taste of th.c big stick. Apostlo Smoot would not ask for the money except that ho knows he is worth much more to the Nation. No, Brother Smith, it is not very far to the ringside at Reno; and doubtless you can get a family pass. There being no concordance, the lug-islators lug-islators admit difficulty in their ctlort to locate those metal quotations. Jt is a month before time, but Sena-tor Sena-tor Sutherland ma' bo stopping to pick up a purse with a prophetic string to it. His vote on the denatured alcohol bill may be a vindication of Apostle Smoot '5 desire to insist upon a purity equal to his own. It is unfortunato that lying conspira- j tors should forget that a man may not have been in town when thoy claim to have seen him here. Senator Dubois having determined to deliver some lectures on that subject, the hierarchy are sure that he does not know much about them. H "When dates that have to bo,sct just fl so for interviews with the chief, it is very unkind of him to show that he wasn't in town ut that time. . Being unablo to write instructions to voters in tho Swedish language, why should Joseph P. be expected to fin an -dally support the Utah Postcn? The only thing which the prophet re-grcts re-grcts about the big match which has been signed up between two celebrated bruisers is that his theater docs not got tho rnkooff. Knowing that ho could wind them up very quickly and very satisfactorily t to himself Joseph P. is totally un- 1 able to see why ho should not bo appointed ap-pointed to bo receiver in tho financial j affairs of the Oliristian Science church. : |