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Show Short Stories A WISE LAWYER. Washington Star. Former Senator John M. Thurston of Nebraska, who was representing the defense de-fense in a recent trial in one of tho local courts, arose tho othor day to reply to tho argument of counsel for tho government govern-ment on a point of law. In deliberate and Impressive manner the attorney began be-gan a forceful presentation to tho court. Beforo he had fairly launched his counter coun-ter attack, however, ho was Interrupted by the presiding Justico, who said that ho was about to decido tho question In favor of Senator Thurston. "In that case," remarked Mr. Thurston, resuming his seat at once, "I will make no speech to tho court, for fear of changing your honor's opinion." NEVER BREAKS DOWN. Boston Herald. Mark Twain has handed out a story about a physician friend of his who not long ago had to engage a new chauffeur. chauf-feur. A big Btrappiug fellow applied and was questioned as to hlB technical ability, hlB size and strength appearing wholly satisfactory. "What is tho first thing you do when you And that your carburotcr is out of order?" aBked tho doctor. "Well, I tell ye," replied tho applicant, "I honestly don't nover have no troublo with It. It nover gets out of ordor. I ain't been sick one day for tho last two year." RESULT OF MARRIAGE. An old-time English barrister was John Williams, a sarcastic wit and a bachelor with an intense prejudice against marriage. Ills clerk ono day asked him for a holiday to got married, and somo monthB afterward, on entering enter-ing his chambora, Williams found his dend body suspended from tho door. Ho engaged'nnother clork, and asked him if ho was married. "No,' tho clerk replied-but replied-but thinking that Williams would regard marriage as a guarantco of Stoadlness he added, "but I am going to be." "Very well,' replied Williams; "but understand this when you hang yourself don't do It here!" WAYS OF A CHEMIST. BcrzoIluB. tho Swedish chemist, made most of his experiments in the kilchon cook as h,s only assistant. What Is your muster?" nakod ono of ! L ue'ghbors. "Oh. he 1b a chemist." What's that? What docs ho do?" 'Well. I will tell you. Ho has something some-thing in a big bottle, thon ho pours It Into a amnller one, and thon again Into quite a tiny bottle." "Woll, and what then happens to It?" "Oh, then I throw it away." |