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Show I L 0 N (J E N'd A a E M E N T 5 By Phoebe Forrest I tsgt 18 seldom that Ion? engagements are 7 vg J I a success, although there may be cir- j rqJsrapi cumstances when they appear to be , jSvI necessary. If a man Iovcb a girl it is very hard J , for '"m not to tell her and if t4ie is a true wo- man and returns hid affection, she will naturally promise lo wait for him. . -But this waiting business isn't at all the poct- I lca' affair that novelists pretend; on the cou- 1 rnry U is a most weary, nerve-racking time. In the first place, no two persons can be en-Raged en-Raged without wanting to get married, and the ; more in love they arc, the more unpleasant they j find the enforced delay, besides the girl has no H , rcal hold upon her lover except his sense of lion- -t and this knowledge makes her jiecvish and ! irritable. They see each other almost daily for Hi say a year or so, in which time they natural- j ly become pretty well acquainted and come to H, know many of each other's faults as well as vir- A great deal hat been paid and written about getting to know your proupcctivc huuband or wife thoroughly before you marry. While it irf certainly advisable lo know something about your Hl prospective spouf-c, you don't want to know too Ht much. You don't want to know just how cross he can be when the soup is thin, nor how disa-grceable disa-grceable she can be when she wants to go out and you arc too tired to take her. i You don't care to thrash out the Sunday morn- ' ing church proposition long before you think of pelting married, nor discuss the effect of smoke upon the curtains in the parlor long before you think of buying curtain of your own. You don't desire to know absolutely everything Hi about your prospective spouse, for nobody wants an entirely cut and dried, prony honeymoon. ' There ought to be room for at least a little ro- ' mancc, for the honeymoon only lasts a certain L ' tinu and yuu have all your liven in which to be ( , I hoberly murried. ll vuu have been asociuted I with a person for yearn, tile novelty of Ih'h or ii her personality, in which to a great degree lhe romance context", i- bound to wear oil, ao that Hl j there in none left for the honeymoon. HIJi During the long waiting the girl docx not grow H: i younger and prettier, but rather the contrary. J She may have to earn her own living in the in- f (I lerval before the wedding day, with the renult Ajlmi, that cloec- confinement m a stuffy office has rob-J bed her complexion of the baby tints that onc won hifl ndmiration and continual straining of her eyes has caused them to-lpfc the sparkle he used to love to, The doubt of her lover, which come) as a natural consequence upon the falling off of his attentions, also helps to produoc wrinkles and crows' fpet, and certainly brings a dipcontentcd, downward droop to the corners of her mouth, which, to say the least, is not conducive to beauty, Uhis falling off of hi attention may not be due to the fact that he has ceased to love, but only that he has sunk into the passive attitude of the husband long before he owns that title, or I he may be so atworbed in his bumnes9 as to have little time for making love.' This is a common trait in the American; but the girl sees no reasons, rea-sons, the can perceive nothing but the fact, and so by worrying loses more of her beauty every car. And no man can retain his original ardor for a woman who is gradually losing her chief Kicnns of charming him. As a man grows older, his ideal of woman changes, and the woman he would have married at twenty is not the one who would suit him ten years later. At twenty he was a romantic boy, with sentimental senti-mental ideas about sweet blue eyes and brown curls; and at thirty he has seen something of the world and wants a wife who can keep house for him and enter into his plans and pursuits just as his chum would. In the years of a long engagement she may learn to do this, but the chances are that if t-hc is inclined lo be frivolous frivo-lous at twenty she will remain so, to a greater or less degree, all her life. Perhaps at twenty he preferred the nthletic girl, who could throw a ball just like a boy, and who went wild with enthuHj'asm at football games; and at thirty, having outgrown his ovn taste for football and developed nn interest 4in politics, he wants a woman who can discuss such subjects intelligently and have opinions of her own about them. It is probable that her tastes will change too. At twenty she may have liked a handsome young fellow who dreesod well and whose manners were the pink of perfection. As she grows older, she discovers the natural vanity of handsome men, and comes to prefer the ugly man, who spends hiB time admiring her instead of wondering how many girls are pining away for love of him. Perhaps at twenty she liked the young fellow who spends his time running around to theatres r.nd dances, and who took her along as an accessor? ac-cessor? to his good time. ' At thirty she has lost her interest in theatres and dance's; she has lived j much in boarding-bouses boarding-bouses and back offices that she wants her own home, with a warm cozy siting room and a husband hus-band that is content to spend his evenings opposite oppo-site her on the other side of tho big centre table, reading hLs evening paper while she darns his sockb. So it happens that when the wedding day finally final-ly does roll around they find they don't suit each vthcr nt all. The man may consider himself bound in honor to keep his engagement, but if she is brave, sho breaks the engagement, preferring prefer-ring to remain an old maid rather than marry a mon 6hc has ceased to love. The chances are that fchc will remain an old maid, loo, because she has no longer any male friends, having given them up when she first announced her engagement, engage-ment, nnd also because the decay of her beauty has made it impossible for her to make any fresh conquctts He will probably marry, however, for he has made enough money now, and she will have the additional bitUrncsH of seeing him married mar-ried lo homebody who is more fitted to be his wife than sho is. So don't ask a young girl to enter into a long engagement. It may be very hard not to ask her, ond harder still to leave her after half confessions con-fessions have been made on both sides. She mav feel badly for a while and so will you, but in time fresh scenes and frceh faces will have their natural effect. You may find it impossible now to believe that you can ever forget her, but youth, being vcry clastic, easily adapts itself to circumstances. It cannot remain unhappy long, for it is full of hopes hnd aspirations that no amount of misfortune mis-fortune will down. You will become interested in your business or in vour profession, and while you may delude yourself with the poetical idea that you are working lo build a home for her, you will nevertheless never-theless not be losing any sleep about it. Some day she will announce her engagement to another an-other fellow, and you will be surprised to find how little you care Of course, there may be cases where the man comes back and findB the woman still patiently wailing for him, but they are very few and far between. |