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Show ffi And at any other time of the year, Hl Arnold Glauque would deem that he I IN Trns insulted if any one called him a IV non-parClmn. II,, Brethren, only forty of you are HI wanted' just now at Washington; therein! there-in! fore, It Is not necessary for all of you In to run at once for the Mexican border. Hll The weather in Utah about January HI 1st threatens to be so severe that lEui many prominent gentlemen, "of Hftff weak constftutlon," will le glad to seek HlHi the salubrious 'clime of Canada. 1 The annual danger of the Deseret Wit News editor draweth nigh. He Is such Ejjl Hire old bird turkey or turk bird Hlj that his neck maketh the axman's arm In! tu''tcn VGQ wln great desire. IK Mr. Moyle rtill believes that It was a mMif campaign of education and conversion; IIH but 13 ,ie no1 ready to admlt that It was Hn eaaj" to mac Republicans out of Demo- mWn crats and Impossible to make Demo- lul crats out of Democrats? 1MB Two big heads In the Deseret News lH of last night, one concerning the trial INH - Nan Pattereon -and the other con- lH cernlng the trial .of Reed SmooL Under III one of the scare heads are the words, Hfffi 'Important missing witness has not Hill bccn fountI-" Puzzle: To find out which IdH c"sc" lijJ rcfers III China Is beginning to import peach In rn'l apple-trees. It is time. One who 111 has traveled through the interior of III hlna will recall that absurd fruit IH unich is called a peach, looks like an HH apple, has the texture of a pear and IB tastes like the usual breakfast fruit lH without cream or sugar. IH The Commissioners having bought a IJH tract of land for a County Infirmary, IffH are now offered a rental of between IH 50 and $500 for it. The cost of the IH land was a Httlp under $15,000. The IB rental offered is, then, something like WM three per cent on the investment. Great IH business heads have those Commlsslon- WM There has never been a time of pro- 11 found peace in Utah that the News did mM not want var, and wage It with a 11 relentless venom that was wholly in- IH excusable; and there has never been a IH time when trouble was on that the News did pot cry out for peace. When WM a list of the wholly contemptible news- wM papers of the country Is made up, the Wm Desiret News will be at the head of it, IH That American Duchess of Rox- IIH burghe, whose marriage ceremony was UH the occasion for a scandalous sensation on the part of the tribe of fool tuft-hunters, tuft-hunters, is scouring all Europe for 11 Christmas toys. She Is said to be a UH great giver, and if her experience is HH like that of most title-hunting Amerl- IfH can e'rls, she will have a costly and liH broken-down Duke to give away in a HH few years. A wicked reporter in Philadelphia re-ports re-ports that a recent Jury in a larceny case there brought in this verdict: "Not' guilty, provided he pays for the over-coat." over-coat." Ajid yet, that sounds wondrously like a story that used to be current and located In one of the Nevada mining lfl camps. The fact is, that a large pro- portion -of the best stories current In the East are stolen from the West, Worked over, and started anew as something HH that has Just happened in the East. Governor Odell of New York is quoted HH as saying that the New York Legisla- HH lure will follow his suggestions on all party matters. That Is a very com-fortable com-fortable feeling to have; and yet it may not be so comfortable for the other fcl-low. fcl-low. Dr. Chauncey M. Depew, for in-stance, in-stance, whose term as United States Senator expires next March, is wonder-ing wonder-ing whether the Odell claim extends to his scat, and If so, whether Dr. Depew will be the Odell suggestion for United States Senator. Governor-elect Douglas of Massa-chusettta Massa-chusettta gives his election expenses at 534.300, a pretty stiff figure and one well calculated to keep the poor man out of politics. But then, ho upent most of the money In advertising him-self him-self apd Ci pundLdppv. He had his picture everywhere, he advertised In all tho papers, claiming that ho was the laboring man's friend, and that h6 wan tho right man to elect as Governor of Massachusetts. H's methods were those of tho demagogue, according to old-fashioned ideas, hut what a tribute his success wn to the merits and power of advertising! |