Show IIi I IJY = lj A I t r 1 J f 1 A Bays Redding for AU I I Hi GOd H < Y JlIg5 S l O YT H M nOr 1 1 Dy THOUGHT a L Wel W h orthy of f Perusa < 1 t t I What Is tho Alaskan Boundary Then scorns to he n good deal of I I misconception ahouL the agreement I between the United Slates and Great Britain with reference to the Alaska boundary We have not consented to I refer the boundary to arbitration This I I Js what the t Canadian members of the I Joint high commission which met In i Washington hi JSOO desired us to do i We refused and still persist In our refusal re-fusal The word arbitral was applied ap-plied to the Intended tribunal in the I rough draft of the agreement but was erased before the document was I signed Alt that Secretary Hay his 1 done Is to agree to submit our loyal i agIec I title under the Anglollusslan treaty I of 18M to the boundary claimed 1y us commipslon of six members three to a ommisslol 1CmbclS I of whom shall be American and throe I British shal This commission has Drllsh no power to bind cither of the pirties I TIM exclusive function is to inquire and I report There Js but very little doubt 1 > iowovor Unit If a majority of ihe com pnlsalon should rennit In favor ot our 11 shoul bs by title the report would be accepted I Great Britain and embodied In a 1 GICat matter how distasteful die treaty no mrLlel tlslaslef11 I result might be 10 Canada 1C all turec commissioner were to British It of the i commlssoncl 1e Canadians there is reason to fear assent that no report would obtain the I folt of a majority and that consequently I Jt to fix the Alaska boundary ililP 1 attempt = r would abortive It Is Understood 1 dary prove I rstood however that while Canada commission 3 will be represented on the I ut least relleSl its members will he an English Jurist to whom the counsel I I 1 1gh might appeal for the United Stales mlehl f with a certain amount of confidence I OUI own belief is thnt 1 any majority favor of loport Js mode it will be In O he United States Should the commis hr 1nic < divided the Inquiry sion bu evenly didtll Inuly will have come to nothing nml we shall continue to retain the territory which we claim under the treaty of 1825 Harpers Weekly I Master of tho Revels for Schools Fortunate in his vocation is Dr 1U llier Ilalscy Gullck the new director of physical training In New York schools and fortunate his pupils It is Dr Oulicks province to loach not the three Its but systematized recreation and lest this should scorn a dry subject we explain that important impor-tant divisions of It are London < Bridge tag follow my leader hide and seek and other games suitable suit-able to pupils of few years I seems almost too good to be true but true It IP t The Importance of play in development long recognized hy phvslclans Is now known to school hoards Little tots sent to school largely to get them out of the way shall not be cheated oC childhoods rights because shut up within walls And Instead of gymnastics they will beset be-set playing Will the plan succeed 1 will if wisely managed The Playground society so-ciety tins proved that Play places far too few which It has here and theio caused tp be opened haw made lighter work for policemen Play is moral tonic as well as physical training train-ing Foreign lands also are recognizing i recogniz-ing this One of our most interesting1 t able dlsnatche1 today announces the J opening in western Pruasla of a boys I paradise or forest playground for camping fishing or playing Indian aianpy boys of the twentieth centuryJ New York World Ii Tribute to the Bishop I Bishop Yiiirenl of the Methodist church and one of the founders of the I Chautauqua circle tells t of an incident says the Cincinnati Enquirer that helped to make interesting the summer he spent In the mountains of Tennessee I Tennes-see Strolling thoughtfully along one I day he suddenly found himself in the midst of a very active camp meeting of negroes Iwo or three ministers present pres-ent recognized him introduced him to 1 oihrs and soon the t bishop fouml him s = elf so popular that he was fairly I dragged to the speakers platform and r asked to say something to the assemblage I assem-blage He consented and one of the blacks stepped forward to introduce the i I unexpected visitor The master of i ceremonies welt right 10 tho point lies U lie-s bade the gathering know that they were 1 of ope purpose and spirit notwithstanding I not-withstanding the difference In complexion com-plexion and wound up as follows Now brethren and sisters Brother t Vincent as yo can see fob yosclves is while of face but at heart lot mo tell ouat heart 1 sayiiels as black as any of us I The Ifickel Was Too Good MaJ Frank L Lonergun who admits that he secured his tie by serving a I Mjorl lime us a corporal in the Illinois national guard was recently I returning to his Brooklyn home with his wife lie gave the conductor a dollar bill to l pay two funs and received four joins in change I I rot a bull a quarter a dime ann a nlckl 1 sa Maj n nlclE1 says llaj Loncrsnn Time I half war made of lead and was a poor I counterfeit The quarter had an oil < lce ir 1 it hat had been plugged with 1 sumac baser metal The dime was of aiuidlaa nativity The nickel was ail I right I MaJ Lonorgau looked at the coins as thcy lay In his Jmnd Then be nodded i lor chic conductor and tliat Individual I returned The major held out his hand with the coins and remarked affably I Youve made a mistake my friend I Whats tin matter growled the conductor I Why this nickel seems to be good Now York Times i Teachers Should Suit the Pupils At first flush the t reason assigned by h the children of a Chicago school for goIng go-Ing out l a i strike that their teachers legs were too long might seem trivial I and altogether I unworthy of reference but t the arbitration commission when examined closely under the ml cioHcopc of a truly philosophic and sympathetic mind the cause assigned will compare very favorably with the grievances of some grownup strikers Every one ought t to I know that school children arc endowed by nature with certain inalienable rights among which are liberty to play hookey and the pursuit pur-suit of Ftleklnjr phis in the boy In tho next seat comparing notes on baseball and other necessary things like these hal 1 teachers with legs longer than they ought to be are much more likely to oversee and Interfere with than pedagogues ped-agogues who arc cut Just the proper length Wo knew a school once hat refused to work because a teacher with crosseyes was hired to boss the Job and they never could tell which way to dodge when lIe aimed things at them And who could blame them The obvious ob-vious and only proper thing for ito I Chicago Board of Education to do is to set ill a Procrustean bed about five feet eight Inches long and when applicants ap-plicants for teachers1 placps dont lit the t measure wo much the worse for them Leslies Weekly Japanese Streets In Japan houses arc not numbered according I their sequence but according ac-cording to the order of their Grcclion says the Pit t htg Gazette TIm Is tony to-ny No 7o may adjoin No 1 with No 102 on the opposite side No 2 is prob alily a mile down the street The city o Tokio is made up of lllliO streets In which are 318U20 houses These houses are divided up into fifteen wards If i I u street passes through more than one ward tlie t houses are numbered accordIng accord-Ing to the wards in which they are that Is I a street passing through six I wards will possess six number ones I would be like hunting for a needleIn a haystack for a stranger to try I to lind a number In Tokio hut a jlmiksba driver knows the position and number of almost I al-most every one of the houses in Tokio Jlc is able to do this by having made this business the OJH study t of his life A Womans Prayer O Lord who hnowost every heed of mine Help me to bear each crews and not repine re-pine Grant fresh day m courage every cn Help me to do my work alway Without complaint 0 Lord thou knowcst well hOi dark the war Guide t hOI my footsteps lest they I stray Give me frrshfaith for every hour Lest I should over doubt thy power And make complahit1 Give me a heart 0 Lord strong tn qnduru Help I mp 10 keep It lmpk pure Make me imsolllsh holpful true In 1 every aetrWhaleer I don do-n icccjv content llalp mo to fin my womans share > fako mo courageous strong to bear Sunshine or shadow In my life Sustain mo In the I daily strife To kocs content Anna r Baldwin In New York Xc wi Field and His Visitors Back in the SOs when Fugene Field and I did our work for the Chicago Dally News in the t same little I cubby jime 01 a room Fome ingenuity was required re-quired to prevent visitors from consuming consum-ing all our time One day Field got hold of an old clock and we rigged up an Infernal In-fernal machine A quantity of crushed coal did very well for gunpowder a polled top string served as a fuse and the cloclcworks gave the whole a sinister gc ter and forbidding look The machine was put into 1 closed wooden box addressed ad-dressed to Field and left with a carefully fully Instructed office boy In the outer room When we thought a visitor had remained re-mained long enough I stepped out and sent tlie I boy in with the box Field deposited it I whqrc the t visitor could see Inside it when the lid was raised and proceeded to pry It open with a hatchet hat-chet My pall ofthe Job was to stand around and talk t about anarchists Chicago Chi-cago was then considerably I excited over thorn t and lead the visitors mind to thoughts of infernal machines As the t lid came up and the clockworks clock-works the fuse the powder and a few redheaded matches were exposed lo view I started toward the door cautioning cau-tioning Field not lo open the thing but lie paid no heed to my warning while the visitor remained This how evcr was not apt to he long Indeed so far as 1 1 now remember the trick never failed to send the guest precipi tately from the building Brooklyn Kagle The Crucial Test Tt is a deplorable fact that wl tim few exceptions the provisions made by States rsul municipalities for the care of the dependent classes are grossly inadequate Great as arc the expendi tures of State and municipal govern Gcrn ments for such purposes and munificent munifi-cent as have been the gifts of philanthropists philan-thropists to similar ends It Is i the disgraceful dis-graceful truth that the insane the sick the Indigent and other unfortunates unfortu-nates are in thousands of instances treated wilJi shameful disregard of the dictates of humanity Add to these abuses the brutal treatment of prisoners prison-ers of all laces and we have a situation situa-tion to which no good citizen points with pride HI bo true 1 we think II 1 la that the best test of ml L communi tys civilization is found In Its treatment treat-ment of its i Lit helpless wards there arc many communities whose pride would e experience a decided decline were their clvihirat ion thus tested Washington Post Tho Navy and the People The determination of the people to possess 1 an adequate and efficient naval force finds new expression In the patriotic patri-otic resolutions adopted by the Legislatures LegIsla-tures of many States and in thc organization organ-ization of the Navy league Seven Important Im-portant commonwealths have already urged their t representatives In Congress to assist in enacting laws that will Increase In-crease and Improve our sea power and without exception the reasons are based upon the necessity of maintaining maintain-ing inviolable the principles of the lIon roe doctrine For this solidarity the Venezuelan dllllcully may he thanked Nor are the Intentions of the Navy league less commendable or less Important Impor-tant Jt seeks In a campaign of education educa-tion to spread before the people tho actual condition oC our sea force and comLon It I hopes through the concrete and definite defi-nite Information thus Imparted to awaken an intelligent public Interest and to coordinate t act ion in all I matters tending to develop the efficiency of our first line of defense The great value of such systematic effort his been noted abroad Indeed it Is not beyond the mark to claim that the notable extension of Germanys sea power Is attributable mainly to the moral and material Influence 0 its Navy Na-vy league The American organization Is first of all to be rlcrorouslv non partisan and nonpolitical all persons save naval officers and members of Congress are eligible for membership The entrance fee Is nominal and the administration Is directed by distinguished distin-guished citizens representing all parties par-ties and every section of the country The initiative Is most promising and within a year its branches it Is to ho hoped will bc found In every city and town of the land New York Herald Unsaid 0 lad If r could only say These smUts arc not for you Bur since your eyes are turned this way What Is there I can do Its ono I see beyond beyond My heart Is I leaning toT to-T know 1 Icnow the whole hour long I hnvo bien dull and sad And answered not thin word at all T meant to answer lad HeoutiKo my wits were gone astray With all the heart I had Ami now the latest onos ale como And ho is coming too And I would keep the starlight buck But nil It will shine through And l since you never turn to sec You lake It all to you Josephine Pleston Peabody In Smart Set When tho Star Enters One of the singe conventions altogether alto-gether American concerns the entrance en-trance as It Is called This is the applause ap-plause that greets the star when he first comes on the stage and no American Amer-ican actor who can have a say in such a matter I would think of accepting a play that did not allow him to come Ural before the public in some striking fashion that would arouse the audience to an outburst of enthusiasm Authors are compelled to rack their brains for effective ways of introducing the slars And this custom is known In i nool I her country In France and Germany the leading actor enters whenever the action of the play requires it Tf It seems to the author au-thor I moie appropriate he will have the actor on the stage when the curtain rises Ises Imagine the American star quietly seated on the stage when the curtain rises In the first act What a contrast to the usual maneuvering and planning to bring him first into view In a way that will stimulate the audience to the most enthusiastic outbreak I Is the librettist for the comic opera star who finds his task In this particular partic-ular most difficult He Is driven to 1 sorts of straits to devise new means of hurling the star into Iew Tie may shoot him out of an automobile Into the middle of thc stage or roll him down the steps any method permissible that bring him strikingly into view The task oC the playwright Is sonic what easier But he must under all circumstances provide nn effective entrance en-trance If he wants to get anqther order from a star I A French play that has been popular for a long t lime in Paris was never accepted ac-cepted here because the heroine was discovered on the t stage when the curtain lain I rose and there was no means of changing the scene try an the adapters might She had to bo on the stage al time lime So the play went begging and io this day It has never been acted hero though It would furnish an admirable admir-able vehicle for a star In England llicrc Is no such importance placed on the question of the entrance as there is here Nevr York Sun Acceptance Was Conditional Ttugglcs Whats the matter old man V You look as blue as a plucked goose Struggle Thais exactly what I am And bo would you t the girl you loved had accepted you so you couldnt tell whether she had or not nuggles Accepted and refused you at the same time Is that what you I mean Struggles reckon so k Tlugglcs Why how could she Struggles Well F called on Prul Miss do TulrI dont know which I have a right to call her last night and after explaining that while I get only twenty a week now I have hopes of 1 raise soon 1 asked her if she would be my valentine forever llugglcs Yes Well Struggles sighing deeply Well she said she would bcIC I would furnish the lace and silk and satin and gold I so that she could be a nice one New York Times What Invention Has Done The cheapness and abundance of grain foods Is explained when the l story of machinery has been told The sloarn going plough combined with a seeder and I harrow has reduced the lime required re-quired for human labor in ploughing sowing and harrowing to produce 1 bushel of wheat on an average from H28 minutes in 18iO to 22 minutes at the I present time I has reduced the time of animal labor per bushel from r > 7 to Ii minutes at the name time it hap re duccul the cost of human and animal labor la-bor in ploughing seeding and harrowing per bushel of wheat from 4 cents to 1 cent Before jiVhllneyH Invention it required re-quired the work of one person ten bourn to lake the t seed from one and onehalf pounds of cotton The machine will now do in tho same ten hours more than four thousands limes as much That 10000000 bales can be marketed In a season sea-son and that cloth Is so cheap Is no longer a wonder A linen sheet that once cost thirty days labor can now be made In seven hours A steam shovel will do In eight minutes what one man can do with difficulty dif-ficulty in ten hours The dirt may be unloaded from a train of cars In six minutes that would require with a shovel a days work oC ten men A ntonecrushcr will perform the work of COO men Few material blessings bring more comfort to every class in the community com-munity than good roads To none is the advantage greater than to largo sections sec-tions of the relatively poor as In country coun-try districts Yet the rapid growth of these highways is almost exclusively tho result of the machine I choose this more striking COm of invention because be-cause it is largely against such that labor la-bor has raised its most angry protest I 0 If is seen that hundreds are thrust aside it Is less easily seen that masses are set lo work The Hoc press prints folds cuts and pastes 72000 eightpage Journals In a single hour To gather the materials make and deliver the raw paper and finally to distribute the printed print-ed sheets dally in twenty States must bring occupation to many more than the machine dislodged From The Social Unrest by John Graham Brooks The Talking Dog An old but still droll story is narrated o a talking clog to which the power or speech was Feemingly given by the art of 1 ventriloquist The dog and his master arrived at a hotel the latter with only a quarter of a dollar in his pocket Well what will you have alslccd the proprietor Ill take a little whisky said the ventriloquist and then turning to the dog he asked What will you have Ill take a ham sandwich was the dogs reply The hotylkecper was breathless car n moment from astonishment He stared at the dog In amnxumpnt What did you say he asked ItT II It-T said a ham sandwich The proprictgr was so impressed 1 by the unheardof phenomenon of a talking dog that in thc end he offered to buy It Oh said the ventriloquist I wouldnt sell him at any Price hut If youll lend me 30 Ill leave him with you till T bring back the money To this the holerkeeper agreed thinking think-ing he would have some fun with his friends and neighbors Everything was settled and the money paid As the ventriloquist went out he turned and waved his hand lo the dog Well goodbye Jack he said Ill come back soon You mean brute to sell me for 520 after all Ive done for you answered the dog Ill never speak another word a long as I live And he didnt New Yorlc Weekly Tho Lengthening Days When the days begin to lengthen And the shadows shorter prow And the ruddy sun creeps higher Where tie Kmy I clouds dully so Thfii 7tiy Ucnrt leaps up rejoicing LUc a starved and prisoned thing For Im longing longing longing For the coining oC time spring 0 I halo the winds that bluster And I halo the chill that blights And tho days of gray dopmsHlon And the drear icelettered nights When the light begins to lengthen Then my hearl begins to slug For Im I longing lonplng longing For the coming o f the spring Cleveland Plain Dealer A Bargain Play Passing the Academy of Music one matinee day 1 meta friend coming out t hat is the matter I asked play bad No he replied but it is too hot in there the house Is literally packed with women You its the sec name Ninety and Nine that catches them They fancy that the admission has been marked down from It dollar and cant resist the bargain New Yorlc Times Faithful to Duty Wendell Phillips the abolitionist never nev-er permtied a negro slave to wait on him It is related that one day while in Charleston S C he came late to the dinner table at his hotel l and when a negro attempted to serve him ho asked How long have you been a slave I aint got no time to talk about dem foolish questions the slave replied with only five minutes for dinner Mr Phillips told the slave to leave the room that he would not let him serve him at the table that he would wait on himself lr cant I do that t sub said the t waiter cause 1 is sponslblc for de sllber on de table suhDes Molncs lleglster Theory of the Aurora The la lest theO and 1 very ingenious inge-nious one writes Frank Vlhcrt Stokes of The Aurora Borealis In the February Feb-ruary Century Is that of Unlcrweger who supposes that cosmic ether which fills the celestial spheres when met by the earths movement is compressed or condensed In front of the earth in the direction of its movement and dilated or rarefied on the contrary behind it This cosmic ether is more condensed before the earth than that which is borne along in the whirl of the Old at from thIrty thmee to It frl fortyfour miles per second and Is mOl rarefied bchind Tim result is that onehalf of tho earth or the northern hemisphere will be negatively electrified and the southern south-ern half posithely electrified with the space regions which they are leaving Only tim magic of the spectroscope will probably ynish aside thc curtains D this grand mystery and reveal the truth I I A Centenarians Simple Life Every human being who pasiws tho century line of life is naturally Interesting inter-esting MlflR undid Martense of Flat bush avenue who celebrated on Tuesday Tues-day her one hundred and second birthday birth-day serene smiling and In good lumlth and spirits Is I therefore a human document doc-ument evidently worth reading < Whlje her own analysis or hen life may not be altogether correct It Is nt least Interesting to know to what JMIsi Martense attributes her longevity The chief facts of her life from this viewpoint view-point seem to be these First She lived for tho first fifty years of her life in a fannliouse and spent much of her time out of doors Second When llred I working In her garden she went to her embroidery and with characteristic HoIan Dutch industry was always busy though never nev-er compelled lo drudgery ThIrdShe has been free from care as to the means of subsistence Fourth Longevity is a fall characteristic char-acteristic Fifth Her mode of life his been rqgular She has always kept early hours for retiring and rising and has always retained her enthusiasm and Interest In life by keeping l posted through t newspapers as to what is going on in lie t would The fact that In almost all respcclH Miss Martense has lived t life in strong contrast to the usual life of today is one that t I might profitably set mesh people to thinking Life oC course is not lo bo measured mea-sured by the standard of years alone but that nature has a strong preference prefer-ence for the simple life has rarely been shown more conclusively than In the case of the pleasant old lady who enters upon her second century cheerful cheer-ful and smiling and Is still ao feminine as to be glad to know that her hair and combs are all straight when she receives her callers NewYork World Their Breakfast Toods John Spratl will cat no fat Ncr will he touch the leap He scorns to cat of any meat lie lives upon Footllne But Mrs Spratt will none of that Foodlne sho cannot cat Her Fprcinl wish Is for n dl hOC h-OC lOxpurgaUd Wheat Tn William Sprntt that food Is flat On which Ills mater dotes His favorlto fuod his special need la Euta Ilcapa Oats But sIster LI1 cant see how Will Can touch1 Hiich tasteless loads load-s breakfast fare I cant compare Sho says with Shredded Wood i Now minima or these Jjcandcr plcascT hELm foods upon Bath Mlttn Whllo slater lane Imjirovws her brain With CcroGrupoGrlta 4 Ijycurgus voles for Fathers Oats Pro lhl appeals to May The Junior John subsists upon Uneeda Balu Hay Corrected Wheat for little Pole Flake Pine for Dot while Bub The Infant Spralt ii wnxlug fat On Battle Greek NearGrub Chicago Tribune An Embarrassing Position The interesting subject Should Bachelors Bo forced to Marry Old Maids became so tiresome because of its prosy treatment at a recent meeting of a university debating society that three prominent East jjldc young women arose to go Tust as they arose in a lull In the de ce bate the chairman with rare presence of mind asked Will all old maids In the audience who are In favor of putting put-ting bachelors to the use suggested please rise The girls were Immediately I made keenly conscious of their embarrassing situation and made haste to get back to their scats bum t others had occupied them The result was that the blushing trio who are really uncommonly prepossessing pre-possessing were forced to elbow Ihclr way toward the exit amid Ihumlcrous applause Minneapolis Journal I Spontaneous Combustion Damp lampblack will Ignite from the suns rays The same can he said of cotton waste moist with lord or other animal oil Lampblack and a Ill oil or water will under certain conditions ignite spontaneously Nitric acid and charcoal I create spontaneous combustion combus-tion I New printers Ink on paper when in contact with a hot steam pipe will ignite quickly Boiled linseed oil ami turpentine t In equal pars on cotton or linen rags or cotton waste will ignite in a few hours under a mild heat and will In time create enough heat to Ignite spontaneously Bituminous coal should not he stored where it will come In contact con-tact with wooden partitions 0 columns or against Wall boiler settings or steam pipes This coal should not be very deep if I i is to be kept on storage for n long period 1 piled Ln the basement base-ment I of il building it I should be shallow and free from moisture and under g < od ventilation Detroit Free Press Timo to Begin John W Ycrkcs Commissioner of Internal Revenue tells of campaigning iu I Kentucky wilh t another t slump speaker The latter thought lo make 1 good impression m 1 the famous distillery dis-tillery town of Owcnsboro so in his speech at that place he sounded the praises of whisky Why gentlemen he said I have noticed in my readIng read-Ing o history and biography that all great men drank liquor 1 tel rou whisky makes men smart Whats I that said an old farmer who was a noted teetotaler Whisky makes men smart reiterated the oralor and I challenge denial Then said the farmer youd better get a couple of barrels and begin ou It at once Work Secured by Chance I I Is most unfortunate to drift Into a life occupation yet that is what is done by the great majority of boys in this country They do not choose their work because they ale specially fitted for it but look for C Job and often lake the first place that Is offered What t chance IH there of Its nUn them or of their being adapted to ttV What chance is there when answering an advertisement advertise-ment of Boy Wanted or going from door to door of n bovu finding a place that will bring Into play the peculiar faculties God has given him The Job a boy secures by 1 chance maybe may-be work that every faculty of his being will rebel against and yet from uncertainty un-certainty or other work he must keep the Job until it becomes second nature to him and he gradually drifts Into It as a llfework Such Is the history of tolling thousands forced to stifle both inward I longings for loved activities and disgust at Imposed conditions with the thought of pressing necessities of hardship to loved ones sure to come if the steps on the treadmill are allowed to falter Faculties meant for life shrivel and atrophy and those the 1 workers are compelled to exert from lack of Joy and spontaneity in the work become machinelike doing just what Is required to insure weekly wages The boy who drifts I Into an occupation for which he Is unfitted la Innocently committing murder upon the highest and best in himself lie is u suicide galvanized Into capacity for toll by necessity ne-cessity O S Marden In Success At n Critical Moment At last the little town had purchased for Itself proper fire equipment The Inhabitants were enormously proud of their engine and apparatus volunteers offered their services and were drilled accordingly One night n fire broke out The force assembled hurriedly so hurriedly that when they arrived only one lantern could be found Smoke was pouring from the building but no fame appeared ap-peared and the night was very dark Finally a tongue of flame shot met of one corner of the building and the crowd cheered as the man at the nozzle directed n stream of water toward HAt H-At this crisis the excited captain realizing real-izing the emergency shouted Re careful I what youre doing man Keep the waler off that blaze Dont you see thats the only light weve got to put out the fire hy Which Pork to Use Some persons yearn for knowledge Of the kind you get at college SOre long for musty facts from days agone Jonc Some hunger to be knowing Whaflhe future will he showing While others watch the present humming on But when Im called out to dinner By some plulocfUIu tiinncr Who was always lathe social swimming pool I would give a whole diploma Bon my collegebred aroma I would give It all and gladly bo a fool I would give my evening clothes And the Joy that ebbs and hosts When I hear the mellow popping of the cork Wore 1 not always forgetting Ole small thing that keeps me fretting 1 1 only could recall which fork Which fork11 Theres quite a row beside me But the woe of woes botlrte me If ever I cal get them sorted out For each one has Its duty Tuat as each Its dainty beauty Tho oyster ono Is threelined short and stout But the rest they hnvo me guessing In a manner most distressing And Id almost trade my hope of future Joy For a chanco to cat again In Iho farmhouse dull mid plain With the tools I used to handle when a boy For Im suro Ill never learn Though I yearn and yearnand yearn Though I spend a dozen seasons In New York Just what fork is next In Hue So from SOIl to nuts and wine I am hauntod by the thought Which fork Baltimore American Terrible Blunder There was great excitement on the German and t British waiships off the Venezuelan coast What is the trouble asked the correspondent cor-respondent t Sole one has blundered with the Christmas boxes elucidated the native na-tive the German sailors art opening the plum puddings and the British are struggling wilh I the llmburgcr cheese Chicago Nests A Bachelor Tax In the Argentine Kopiiblic they have solved to their own satisfaction the bachelor problem bylhc simple method meth-od of making it cost an unmarried man as much money to live In unmarried bliss ns it would cot him to marry A man Is marriageable In Argenllno when he Is I 10 If from that date and until he passes his thlrtyalghth birthday birth-day he wishes to remain single he must pay S5 month to the Stale For the next five years time tax increases 100 percent I per-cent I Between 13 and 50 the bachelor is mulcted to the tune of UO It month From his fiftioth eli to 75 530 a month Is the laX but having reached the say entyfifth year the tax Is reduced to Sb 10 a year After SO JL man can remain single sin-gle without paying anything There Is a paragraph relating to widowers wid-owers Who are given three years in which lo mourn and pick a successor A man who ran prove that he has proposed and been refused three times In ole year Is also considered to have earned Immunity from taxation 1 Is said limit the law works like a charm Detroit Flee Press Do Old Men Die Prom Idleness There is certainly far more evidence for the belief In the dreariness 1 oC old age after active work hits TJOCU lulu aside 1han for the shortening of llfo which results from thc enforced Inactivity and Instances Two notable tivity wo lotnb1e freer from doubt than most as perhaps flom ou11t aS to whether it Is ennui Clone that kills and not the disease of old age or a more j J specific malady arc those of Napoleon scclc nUlla1 Ire t1 the Great and BIsmarclc The one llve < six years In St Helena the other eight years at FricdrlchsMuh each eating out his heart I ever thcrc were men who ought on the supposition to have j been kljled by the total suspension of their activities these two ought to have been but It would be extremely dim 1 cult toishow that they were Though Napoleon was more than fiS yet It was the specific disease or cancer of the stomach of which he died 1 and thc connection con-nection between his exiled loneliness and the direct catinc of his death does not seem very apparent On the other hand Bismarck at the age of IT when he was dismissed from the Chancellor J ship could not havo had a likelihood of more prolonged years than he actually achieved out of office even If lie had until the end A continued In office unt en 1 wise man If not too dyspeptic will never lose touch with actual life There are old men with young hearts and the elder when he has a you ng heart Is perhaps per-haps the most delightful type humanity hu-manity view I can showus Saturday Tie 1 Maintaining Churches Tho maintenance of the thousands o churches In the United States cost last year 2GO000000 Of this amount the Baptists paid S 11138000 the Episcopal churches 15181000 1 the Congrogation alisls 10270000 rho Presbyterian Qr the north expended In the maintenance mainte-nance oc church and for church aril ar-il vl ties 17080000 the Melhodlsts north and south 2Ir > l000 All this was In addition to the completion of the twentieth I twen-tieth cenlury funds aggregating In America and England 510000000 The AmericanMethodists secured 21000000 of this amount of which 000l000 goes to pay church debts 7000000 to church colleges and seminaries and the balance lo aged ministers and philanthropies The Presbyterians of the north rained STsiOOOOO the Canadian Methodists 51 250000 the Canadian Presbyterians 1 100000 the British Wesleyan 5l 1iOO t 000 the I British Concrregatlonallsls 53 oiiOOOO 000 and the British Baptists 1250 I Picking Out Their Careers A group of five Brooklyn children cousins were playing In the nursery a j few mornings ago the eldest perhaps 10 years of age and the youngest the only boy nearly 5 Their mothers are I clubwomen alert and Intelligent anti these youngsters had heard much discussion dis-cussion of the new woman and of advanced topics mentioned In addresses ad-dresses before the cubs They had absorbed more of the Information than their parents realized Qn the morning in question the children chil-dren were talking over what they l had heard and the oldest said Weil ev erybodys got to be something nowadays nowa-days Mother says you cant he just humdrum and comfortable and sit around home any more Must have a career T shall be a musician People Peo-ple will come lo hear me play and will clap and give me lots of plaws I said Jcnnnctte shall be a sculptress I already make very nice things In clay modeling at school Proudce yelled the others iNo I alit 1 know my llmmutta tions as mother says when she rends a paper But I know what I can do So now Marie thought she would be an actress or ji l teacher she had not decided which only that she would know a lot and wear a long gold chain Ill be a plecsman piped up lit Ho brother Xen If you aint good Ill ketch all you an youll be sorry Nats Dear little Marjoric r years old who has many dolls to cal for sat contentedly content-edly in her little chair rocking hug ging f her baby doll and crooning a bye low to it She had not spoken and was asked to contributu her idea of a career to this symposium She glanced up a puzzled look on her contented little lit-tle face Yes I heard you all talk In said she with a sigh Then her 1 usual I happy expression returned she lifted baby doll to her I shoulder close 4 under her chin and said Im Just go in to be a mother with n nice fambly t 0 chilrcn Brooklyn Eagle 1 To My Old Hat And thou hast claspod my uiiirhln brow C j J And dally snmk sill I deeper down I UiHU thy t brim doth bldo me now IC From l lofty sineer all worldly 10W fiownJ J Thou brown once wen black who now art 1 But what can T for aught of that Thou art thy owners rightly crown My I trusty friend my ancient hat Aiul I must buy another tllo I To catch the scoffers quizzing ulnnco J v lib modern crown of pattern vile Distorted brim Just born of France t It will not lit me well perchance Ecni you wore yours boloro vou sat In ease my beauty to enhance My trusty frlond my ancient haU And I must hold It on with rare 1 Unwllllnir tend t its painful gloss 1 Must watch It with affrighted glare LC u greedy bunds procure Its loss Time winds will thy usurper loss Some ruthless wheel will crush It 111 10 soon lice I iicalh the carts that cross My trusty frlemlmy ancient hatl IENVOl At me Too much this haunting fear Beioro r give theo to the cat I Ill wear thrqe for another year My trusty t friend my ancient hal I finrlnn IlrMi li |