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Show THE BULLETIN. BINGHAM. UTAH ADVENTUREKb CLUB . "Oft Jacob's Ladder' By FLOYD GIBBONS Famous Headline Hunter. sir, here's one of those automobile stories Ie been WELL, for. By golly. I knew they were there waiting for me. Why, doggone it, there must be a million good auto adven-tures in hiding. The field isn't even scratched yet. Half our adventuring today is done in automobiles, and I II bet most every one of you has a good gas-bugg- y yarn in mind that you just haven't gotten around to sending me yet. This automobile yarn is a lulu, too. It comes from George II. Smltn, and the trouble George got Into, well, gosh hang It. It's almost enough to make a man sell his car and put the dough into life Insurance Of course, George Smith can't very well sell that bus of his. In the first place he doesn't own it, and In the second he makes his living driving the doggone thing. George has been a truck driver since 1021 and he must be a pretty one. too, for he drove that old patrol wagon for 12 years without get-ting Into any really serious trouble. Here Begins the Story of George's Woes. One day. back In 1933 though, George did get Into trouble. But Tin not the man to tell you about that Let George do Itl "I was driving a big freight van," says George, "from Boston to Albany. I was getting along fine until Just before I got to Pittsfleld. Then, coming down a steep hill called Jacob's Ladder, the car teemed to get away from me. "I had to grab the hand brake to prevent a smash, and what racket that brake made. I got her to the bottom of the hill all right though, and there I found I'd broken the brake shoe on the drive shaft "That left me nothing but the foot brake. Maybe I should have stopped right there and had it fixed. If I'd had any Idea of what was go-ing to happpen. I darned sure would have. But lots of drivers got along with a hand brake so I stepped on the gas and took a chance." Only One More Big Hump to Get Over. George's truck rolled on through Pittsfleld and took the steep grade down Ibanon mountain without any trouble. He had left all the steep spots in his route behind him now-- all except one, and he was coming to that a small mountain that drops down Into the town of Nassau, New York. George rolled over the top of that mountain and had Just started down the other side when suddenly his foot brake slipped and the van leaped forward. George grabbed for the shift lever tried to throw her back Into first It was no use. He tried the brake again, but this time the foot brake SMASH! The Side of the Van Hit a Tree. didn't work nt all. And all the time the truck was gathering speed us It raced down the steep Incline toward the bottom. It's Not the Hill It's What's Eelow! It was only four miles to the bottom of that hill, but, as George says, a lot can happen on u four-mil- e hill, especially when there's a town at the bottom. The truck, by this time, was going faster than any truck was ever built to go swaying from side to side and all but leaping from the road. George made a right turn and negotiated a left prayed that he wouldn't meet any traffic. Now houses began to flash by, warn-ing him that the town at the bottom of the hill was not far away. "All I had," says Oeorge, "was a horn and a prayer. I dropped down i grade steeper than the rest, with a sharp curve at the bottom. And at the speed I was making I knew I'd never make that turn." Crash of Truck Saves Driver's Life. Well, he didn't exactly. The van hit the curve and started to dip. George clutched the wheel and held his breath as both his left wheels raised off the ground. He braced himself for a fall and then SMASH the side of the van hit a tree, tearing half the body from the wheels. I5ut that crash had saved George's life. The force of the impact knocked the big truck back on all four wheels again and It caromed off down the last steep grade toward the town. Ahead of him red traffic lights turned green as he roared through the village of Nassau, his horn screeching a frantic warning. George steered the big van to the side of the road rubbed his tires against the curb in a vain effort to slow it down. Then he bit a short up-grade and came to a stop on the outskirts of the village. "My knees," George says, "were like rags and I had to sit down a while. Hooked back down the street and there was freight scattered along the curbing as far as I could see. I looked under the truck and found that the pinion gear was gone out of the rear end. "A town officer drove up and I was arrested. Reckless driving was the charge, but when the kindly old Judge heard my story he let me off with a $10 fi"e." WNU Service. Learn One Thing Well; I Dare to Be What Yon 1 1 Give up trying to know everyih, i to embrace alt Learn to limit j'S self, to content yourself wi definite thing, and gome foul work; dare to bo what yon are ill to learn to resign with k0i all that you are not. and t0 ,1" In your own Individuality. Amlei "I I WONDER: If most of the over, grown Iambi set In front of Jo Louis during th past year were really jittery because of his punch-ing prowess and his well press-agente- d fighting face? Or whether they might not have been In h because they knew their own defects made them pushovers for any reasonably able citizen? If Jack Dempsey thinks he has been divinely appointed to rescue t h e white race BSaMeBaeBBSaSBBSBSBSjenaei from the Joe Lou-is peril and so must devote h I s precious time to n heavyweight elim-ination tonrnnment with a Jim Crow clause? Or If Jack Dempsey does not know that the world probably will eo alone Just t) Sew Turk Font WNIJ Service, Ball Clubs' Need of Costly Training Belied by Facts A DAY or two ago I talked with a gentleman who owns most of the bank that very reluctan-tlyowns most of a major league ball club. While he waved fingers which had been burned from laying too many loans on the line for those Central American republics which have such a rapid turnover In presidents, he scolded the fate that always keeps him playing with fire. "Do you know what it costs?" he said. "Wait," he hastened on. "Wait, I'll aliow you." lie gave an order. There was great activity in the outer office. One group of young men sprang to their adding machines. Another, far larger group, sprang to their subtracting ma chines. Then I knew that the ex cltement was caused by the mem ory of the $2.r),0K) which must be advanced for the club's spring training trip. "Do they have to go all the way down there?" he asked, pointing to a distant spot on the southern map. "Do they really have to take al-most two months to get ready?" Since It Is a pleasure to experi-ment with the truth now and then I told him "No." I added that most sane baseball men believe that a team can be trained In any temper, ate climate. I recalled that John McGraw once said that any team should be in shape after two weeks of training, and that during the rest of the spring junket a mana-ger was most sorely beset in trying to keep the players that way. The r.nltlnitire Orioles, who won seven successive International league pennants, specialized In con-quering big-tim- e clubs In exhibition affairs and never trained farther jfoujh than Nurth , Carolina durlnjj uve of these years. Iiuiltl-U- p Spoiled hy Poor Prc-Scaso- n Showing Obviously the real purpose of long and expensive spring training periods Is to build up the expectant excitement of the home town fans. It Is an advertising means for cre-ating a definite demand for the product before it is placed on the market. This theory Is excellent, and yet In practice the resulls sometimes are unfortunate. Having gone through years in the belief that the home town fans will stand for anything, the club owners naturally do not have any higher opinion of so called tank towners. Occasionally some owner or man-ager, hopeful that the victories of March will cause the home town fervor to endure well Into the de-feats of May, insists upon a spirit-ed performance. But such urgency Is rare and the realistic young men very well know It. Cnseball, Jelly beans and movies all cost money. It Is true that In Macon, In Jackson, or In some tuch town, you can get the same Jelly beans or movies as you can on Broadway, and often the price Is less. So If the natives, with full knowledge of what big-tim- e base-ball offers them and asks for It. decide to stick to Jelly beans and movies there seems no "Hold on," Interrupted the gen-tleman. "I get part of It, but Isn't it true that the the same If the Jack Dempsey clean - living and capable Joe does take perma-nent possession of the title? And if Jack Dempsey wouldn't do better If he stuck to his cooking? Whether that Puerto Rico train-In- g trip of the Cincinnati Reds real-l- y Is such a swell publicity and money getting stunt as the Nation-a- l League president and the a owner of the club seem to believer And Isn't It true that the Reds usually have wound up overtired even during those recent seasons when they did not start training a full month ahad of the other teams? Or are the Clncln-na- tl fans supposed to go on for-ever being satisfied with a second division club, adorned with night baseball and other trimmings? Why the American League does not sign Dolly Stark, the best of all possible umpires, who recently cut himself loose from the Nation-al League's bed and board? Six-Da- y Bike Arcs Are Born That Way Things the six-da- y bicycle riders who are now battling it out in Madison Square Garden probably never even knew about themselves: John Chapman, who promotes and profits, says that the cyclists are born with powerful legs and that if they do not have them in the cradle they seldom can develop them. Tino Reboll of Newark has the most highly extolled Dietrichs of the present era. Bike riding papas raise their boys to be bike riders. Alfred Buysse. the Belgian, Is the son of Marcel Buysee, who used to thrill the fans In the old Garden. And Cesar 's dad once was Italian cham-pion. Norman Hill went to a San Jose, Calif., high school with Marvin Owen, the Detroit third baseman. Saysthat he (Hill) never could play ball but that Owen might have be-come a swell bike rider. Franco Georgettl probably Is the wealthiest rider, lie makes It both In the races and In Wall Street and Is one of those people who have staged magnificent comebacks after being clipped in 1!)'0. Although most of the riders are covered with scars, only one man ever has been killed In a six-da- y race. That was Urban MacDonald, who went over the top of the track In the Garden In 1!H8. lie died In the hospital the next day as a re-sult of his Injuries. Grid Stars Can't Resist Lehipli's Opportunities Big-tim- e football players no long-er are passing up Lehigh's oppor-tunities for higher education. With-in two years the team is scheduled to rank with the best In the East. . . . Joe Cooper, "amateur bad man" with the Crescents last sea-son, picked on the wrong guy for his first pro hockey scrap. He swung his stick at Lionel Cona-cher- , Canada's best athlete, and was rewarded with six stitches. John Weller, Princeton's mighty lineman, has worn a monocle each football Saturday morning since the Tigers upset Columbia In ism. Once the glass dropped from his eye and was shattered on the ground. That was just three hours before Tale ruined the Princeton winning streak last fall. Did some one say that, while In Yankees charge the same prices as the other clubs and that they haven't always had the best team?" -- Yes," I told him. "But, until In a moment of weak-ness they parted with him, they al- - the East, St Mary's signed up a metropolitan high school star, nine years removed from his studies, for delivery as a freshman next fall? And Is this d athlete now playing semi-pr- o foot-ball so that he will be prepared? Sammy Berne, the old-tim- e light-weight, who trained Benny Leon-ard for the two Lew Tendler fights. Is post otlice clerk for one of the nation's busiest publishing bouses. . . . There continues to be no great meeting of the minds be-t. w.ee.n football folks at Holy Cross. Although the football team could stand some Improvement, Har-vard's band could compete with I'enn for the eastern intercollegi-ate muslc-makln-g honors. Johnny Scherf, Michigan gradu-ate and Windsor wlngman, bas tak- - j en the play away from the major league veterans In the Internatlon-- ! al Hockey circuit, although this la only bis first season as a pro. Old-time- rs say that be Is almost certain to become one of the few Ameri-cans who have been able to keep up with the other stars la b!g Uro rink company. j ways had Babe Ruth. Babe Ruth And all you need to put on a show that will pack them in is one guy like" tfut the banking gentleman no longer was listening. Ring Title's Yours if You Have $20,000 If you can make the weight and have $20,000 o spare you can be-come a world champion. One of the pugilistic tl"s la for sale at that price. N. T. U. students do not hold ex-clusive squawking rights about not being able to get into their own basketball games. Neither the Brig-ha- Young O. nor the Colorado U. gyms are big enough to bold all the excited student ticket holders. Almanac That Saved Life of Columhus Is Exhibited A book that, according to legend, saved the life of Christopher Coluni-bu- s has been on view In an exhibi-tion of the library of the late former king of Portugal In Paris, Bays the San Francisco Chronicle. The exhi-bition includes 120 Items published between USD and 1509 by the most important printers of Europe. Columbus had the Perpetual Alma-nac of Abraham Zacuto with him on his journey to America. Legend says the Indians were that at one time of killing him. lie on the point them by predicting an eclipse he had read In of the sun of which the almanac. They thereupon de-sisted. Week' Supply of PostumrJ Bead the offer made by the Poitef Company In another part of this jjt per. They will send a fullweek'n! ply of health giving Tostnm h'S anyone who writes for it Adr, Mothers read this: THREI STEPt I I TO REUEVINB A cleansing dose today; a smaller quantify tomorrow; less each time, until bowels need no Mp at alL Why do people come home from a hospital with bowels working like a watch? The answer i3 simple, and it's the answer to all your bowel worries if you will only realize it: many doctors and hospitals use liquid laxatives. If you knew what a doctor knows, you would use only the liquid form. A liquid can always bo taken in gradually reduced doses. Reduced dosage is the scad of any real relief from constipation. Ask a doctor about this. Ask your druggist how very popular liquid laxatives have become. They give the right kind of help, and right amount cf help. The liquid laxative generally used is Dr. Caldwell's Syrup Pepsin. It contains senna and cascara both natural laxatives that can form no habit, even in children. So, try Syrup Pepsin. You just take regulated doses till Nature restores regularity. Dr. Pierce's Pellets are tart tct, bowels and stomach. One little Pellet for a laxative three for a cathartic Adv. Salt Lake City Director 150,000 feet Used & New Pip, Sizes y2". 8i". 1" Structural Steel and Plates Monsey Iron & Metal Co. TCI hits 3ri Wirt hit hit City, la U. S. Certified PuNorum Tested Chicks While Leshorn. Shod Island Bab, Barred Plymouth Rocks, for tramteili deUrerr. Headquarters for Hart Cu breodera. for natural artificial, or tank tea, can be died anywhere. Alw th m Sol-H- ot Radiant. Phone, writ wire (or prices and complete infora ' ation. RAMSHAW HATCHERIES im So. Slat 8b Salt Lake City, tit TIHPANOG03 HATCH LEY ilSOJ Sooth 7th Eaat Pro., lul f Head ISOLDS! the nostrils fo relieva 11 irritation and promote Jll clear breathing. V If you prefer nose drops, or throat spray, call for the MEW MEMTHOLATUM LIQUID In handy bottle wllh dropper osiata0aaaaaBaaaassaBasaasaKSasaBei P7t7J HAIR PARKER'S BALSAM , , Oanwrw Dandruff Stope Hair aaillng Impart Color and I fciK --Jii Beauty to Gray and Faded Hair ' I ir"T9s uwandjl (elrure.U. yyii ninwin Ctirr. Wk.., l'atrlu.r.ie.K.T. rLORLSlUN SHAMPOO Ideal for use in eonneotionwithl'arki'r'a Hair BRlum.Mfk the hair eoft and f uffy. 6u renta by mail or at drusr--' . iijliiBcoa:t'l'picaWWa.i,atcoaeN.y. . VXU V 1030 fwri3 LEY'S ; WtV ,s always I v 't v --JL refresh-- ' KfJ mi I tl Tr PERFECT GUM No Need to Suffer 'TtlorningSickness" "Morning sickness" is caused by an acid condition. To avoid it, acid must be offset by alkalis such as magnesia. Why Physicians Recommend Milnesia Wafers These wndy-lik- e wafers are pure milk of magnesia in solid form the most pleasant way to take it. Each wafer is approximately equal to a full adult dose of liquid milk of magnesia. Chewed thoroughly, then swallowed, they correct acidity in the mouth and throughout the digestive system and insure quick, com-plete elimination of the waste matters that cause gas, headaches, bloated feelings and a dozen other discomforts. Milnesia Wafers come in bottles of 20 and 48, at 35c and 60c respectively, and in convenient tins for your handbag contain-ing 12 at 20c. Each wafer is approximately one adult dose of milk of magnesia. All good drug stores sell and recommend them. Start using these delicious, effective ntl-acl- d, gently laxative wafers today Professional samples sent free to registered physicians or dentists if request is made , on professional letterhead. Select Product!, Inc. 4402 23rd St., long Island City, N. Y. frSe' 35c & 60e EsfeiS bottle I THC PCRrr CT The Original Milk of Magnolia Wafer Hear the Greatest Symphony Orchestra i Ever to Tour the West THE PHILADELPHIA SYMPHONY ORCHESTRA j . Conducted by I LEOPOLD STOKOWSKY Tuesday, May 5th, at 8:15 P. M. SALT LAKE TABERNACLE j Auspices of tie DESERET NEWS, Salt Lake City O Mail J First 27 rows main floor center . - . $2.80 f f Next20rows " " " . ... 2.24 Orders 2$ Center of Balcony 2.24 I mj y, Sides of Balcony . . . . Lw t SUIT j Sides, underneath Balcony . . 1.12 (prices mciuDma tax) I Addreee Symphony Concert, Deeeret New.. Eacloee etamped, aelljlddreaaeeny I rcr,-- . A Distinctive Itosl.icnce --JU3S4 i An Abode. ..renowned Mrs. j. h. water Throughout the West ' '- -i Salt Lake's Most Hospitable HOTEL Invites You RATES I the f2.ootoM.oo Hotel lVcwhouse IStsfLlO . V-- SUTTON, General Manager 400 Room CIUUNCEY W. WEST 400 Batks Astiat. Cen. Manager SALT LAKE'S NEWEST HOSTELRY Oar lobby is delightfully air cooled during the summer months Radio for Cvary Room A 200 Rooms 200 Baihm J HHPHi:!!;! HOTEL Temple Square Rates St.SO fo $3.00 S) Thm Hotel Templa Snar haa m highly deairable, friendly etmoe phere. You wUl always find it Imaiae. ulate. supremely comfortable, and thoroughly asreeable.You can thee. fore understand why this hotel let HIGHLY RECOMMENDED Ton can also appreciate wbyt Ifa mark of dlttincVtm to at this bomutitml hoetefry ERNEST C ROSS1TER, Mgr. Taking Tims I Few can expect to succeed J any process, but art lions become well off by taking ti Kindly Feeling Where there Is kindly feeling, In-justices are easily put right Qualified "So you're going to exercise by horseback rldingT Ever been on a horse?" "Why, do. But I'm a bit ." Fixed! Lady (In store) How do your en-velopes runt Bright Boy They don't run ma'am ; they're stationery. Sh-.- "Now that you've tried my voice," said the girl to the glee club di-rector, "what do you think I should do with it?" "Whisper," was the prompt reply. Secret "Why don't you like dancing with George?" "Oh, George Is all right; but he won't let bis right foot know what his left one Is doing I" A Sharp Lot, Down Main "Gimme an all-da- y sucker," the lad demanded of the candy man. He was handed one. "Looks kind of small," remarked the youth looking at it doubtfully. "Yeah, the days are shorter." Portland Express I METHOD IN THAT "Why do you always buy job clothes on the Installment plan?" :tu$ tta will last until the installments in all paid." i Mutual Judge Have you any fixed abode1! Defendant No ; I'm on circuit M yourself. Punch. may persist for many years longer without deteriorating. Reforestation in Michigan did not begin until 1904, and even the old-est of our jack pine plantations art far from being mature today. It is quite true that some of the land which reverted to the state did con-tai-n a fair' stand of natural Jack pine which Is approaching close to maturity, but there Is so little of this that the state would be un-warranted In attempting to harvest It The Jack pine tree of northern Michigan, while not as valuable commercially as other species of pines, or hardwood, has gone far In covering the lumbering and fire scars of the past generation and has a distinct recreational value. Michigan Jack Pine Does Not Mature for 80 Years Considerable has been said In the past regarding the lurge amount of mature jack pine that may be found on state-owne-d lands, particularly in state forests. Most of these re-ports emanate from those who would like to see this timber har-vested for commercial purposes, writes Albert Stoll, Jr., In the De-troit News. A careful check of the state hold-ings would reveal that there is very little, If any, mature Jack pine on these holdings. What un-doubtedly Is meant is the merchant-able Jack pinel Under the most fa-vorable growing conditions jack pine matures in Michigan at about eighty to ninety years of age. It Is conceded, however, that before this period much of this forest growth becomes merchantable for pulpwood, box wood, railroad ties and the like, but it is by no means mature. Even after reaching ma-turity, if fire and disease are elim-inated from these stands the trees Papyrus Earlier Than Vellum Papyrus Is of much earlier origin than vellum and probably is the sec-ond process in writing from the en-graving on stones or rocks. This was succeeded by the engraving on clay tablets, which were afterward baked. |