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Show GOSSIP OF THE TOWN. "While in New York City a short time a?o," remarked Joe Lippman, "I had a funny experience in a restaurant on Nassau street. A friend of mine suggested that we go and pet some lunch. I was hungry and acquiesced. He took me in a place where there was a counter upon which were sandwiches, sand-wiches, doughnuts, pie, charlotte russe and such other things. The odd part of the affair af-fair was that there was no waiter except the youth behind the counter, who served coffee ! when called for. The walls were covered j with mottos and Biblical quotations such as 'An honest man is the noblest work of God,' 'Be just,' 'Do unto others as ye would have others do unto you' and others. The cha rs in the room were arm chairs with a sort of little table on the side. My friend got himself a plate and napkin, called for a cup of coffee and beirau loading load-ing up. Then he asked me why I ; did not pitch in. I told him I was waiting ; for the waiter. 'Well, you will sit here a month before you will t;et one,' he said, 'this K a place where every person helps himself.' So 1 got a plate and loaded it, ate my dinner din-ner and waited for a check. But my friend . said 'come on,' and I ambled up to the cashier and asked how much I owed 1j She looked at me in mingled astonishmP and indignation. My friend said 85 cents, and I paid and left. I understand that pinee is always crowded. It is a great snap for a man with only a dime.'' "1 feel as if I ought to be kicked," said a gentleman recently from the east this morning. morn-ing. 'Why''' quried a listener. "Well you ee, it's like this. I was riding on the Pennsylvania road and about fifty miles this side of Pitta bnrg the engineer concluded to do a little running. I guess we were rolling along at a lifty mile per hour g;ait when a young fellow across the aisle come over and asked me to loan him some money. I replied re-plied that I wiis not in the loan business and he went back to his seat. In about five uiintes he came over and after producing a roll about the size of a rolling pin inquired if I would take care of it for him. 1 thottgrhi the man was drunk, and told him that I didn't want his money. The fellow then went out on the front platform, and 1 will be hanged if he didu t .jump off. A drakeman saw him and stopped the train. We found him down a bank, dead. There was 2800 in that roll, llad I known that he v a - going to jump off I would have taken it!" "I am coin riL-ht off and hunt a weighing machine," remarked -a man who has been absent from the city for some time to a friend this norniav. "Why?" queried the other. "Why?" echoed the Brat speaker, "why? I will tell you. Everybody I meet that I know has some comment to make upon my iwrsonal appearance. First one says 'Jim old boy. glad to see you. You're looking well. You must be getting fat.' Ih m he goes away and another comes up. 'Hello old man.' fee says, 'Glad to see you back. You inns: .have had a tough old trip. Great Scott, how thin you have grown,' and then He goes away. Now I propose to find out alum: this thing and see how much I weigh and the atxt fellow that tackles me will -trikc a snag." i Two hilarious youths, who were o it in a town-painting excursion last night, be-catne be-catne imbued with the idea that they could sing. While ambling down Commercial siwel i hey began, "We won't go liomTtttl mi miag." The sound attracted the attention atten-tion i f Officer Hilton who, approaching them quietly from the rear, spoke as follows: "Sec here, my lads, you won't go home for Ten days if you don't quit this racket." They quit. A youog man with a pale, intellectual cast of countenance, which rose above a Baunellette shirt, wandered into the sanctum of (,k: si!?ikc editor this morning and laid down the following, after which he gently loated away: Spring i f 7. got here don't I know it, Can't 1 f -ei it ie the air? i (Ht't I s the tro-s in blossom, . me!: th" ivNtMH every where? - r.:::j liae based from out her apron tii'-er Yro-s the 'no tial Styx V.-'i ch by jink I know'U be good for 1 a i' ad's chronic rtunatix. ' r sTd of a quarter stretch badge for the spring meeting is offered for the appre-' appre-' us u of the author. Policemen are not barred .roni this contest. |