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Show POSITIVE FACTS. Pertinent and Impertinent Shots Fired by Ubiquitous Keporter. Thfit pugilism in Zion is as dead as Julius Casar. That Suit Lake's ministers are a most fraternal fra-ternal set. That Walker Bros, new block is an architectural archi-tectural daisy. That local txUiu on the Ohio election is on even figures. That the Salt Lake councilman is unrivaled a a scalp hunter. That the real estate broker presents amore cheerful appearance. That the signs of the times all point to a citizen's ticket in February. That the theater can be emptied in seven minutes under any emergency. That the county jail is as neat and clean as a fcoiibrctte's apron these days. That to reduce the court calendar more Judges must be had lor thebench. That the curbstone brim is a permanent object in a day's travt4 over Zion. That the nation's bird' is about ready to stretch its wings tut Eagle gate again. That the bonanza king cjin ill-afford to let the mining exchange die of desuetude. 'that King Coal is confronted by a decidedly decid-edly panicky aspectthe.se tropical times. That the landlord is anticipating increased traffic with the advent of another spring. That warm spring nnd two genial landlords land-lords offer lots of comfort these crisp days. That, a meat inspector is absolutely indispensable indis-pensable to the hygcuic conditions of any city. That a t urnUhf J room n ill soon be cheap enough Uyj a man of limited means to occupy. oc-cupy. That more frequent excursions from the eait is what Utah needs to stimulate its pulse. That the approach of another election offers of-fers fresh assurance to the ancient order of bums. a That brick burners arc inakiug prepara tions to provide for au active spring demand. de-mand. That the federated trades express liop( for better times us the various new projects mature. That the prosperity of the mines is revealed re-vealed in the unprecedented activity of the smelters. That Zion's manhood should encourage the Jewish ladies most, generously in their fharity ball. That bonu-bfiyers ' can't make a legal tender of a song and dance or a bribe of a flagon of gin. That Professor Stephen's choir will be a revelation to even the haughty aud imperious impe-rious t iihnore. That Councilman Pjekanl's ephemeral reign as mayor is conspicuous for its m outline outl-ine nlal modesty. That there is already a stiff demand for Statistician Lippman's volume on the industries in-dustries of Utah. That, Superintendent. Ryan of the water department is running a lively race with the autumn days. That voyages to the asylum for the. insane arc not necessary to develop a pronounced eiample of lunacy. That La Plata has survived the mushroom era and settled down to hard struggle and honest exploration. That Postmaster Benton can give his neighbors cards and spades and sweep the prize for a model otlice. That suburban properly is gradually crawling up to the heart of the city with an excellent street car service. That the perpetuity of no institution, be it church or state, nation or empire, is dependent depen-dent on the conceit of one man. That Judge Zane betrays a quality of en-- en-- durance that is rarely to be found under such a profusion of gray locks. That "Doc" Sprague is negotiating for a tramway between his front door and the iidewalk on upper State street. That the candidate for naturalization papers pa-pers has a most happy and felicitous effect on a court clerk's temperament. That John M. Young simply smiles aud 'tends to his own knittiu' as the deep baying of the envious watch dog goes on. That it costs money to freight race horses over the country aud that horsemen wil not chase rainbows or hollow promises. That the vigorous stand taken by Commissioner Commis-sioner Grecnman against cruelty to animals has about abated that species of brutality. That Kittie C atlelon should take a season off and bore deep enough into tradition to lind something the historian has not sprung. That the attitude of the chamber of commerce com-merce will exert considerable influence one way or the other on Deep Creek railway projects. pro-jects. That Judge Wampler has been lost somewhere, some-where, in the shuttle, but promises to reappear reap-pear with a jack-pot in each generous pa'.m. That whin the drama ceases to be a wholesome instructor then will and should the playhouse become a lapsed remines- cence. That there arc more miners employed in the silver tilled catacomb of Utah than at any tune iu the history of their developments. develop-ments. That United States Marshal Parsons has placed the penitentiary in condition to reflect re-flect the matchlesd grandeur of this sunlit i valley. That Ogdrn's vigilance was again asserted in her demand for the first "cut" from that $400,X pie now iu the hands of the church receiver. That, there is a principle pud a sentiment which cries out thnndrously for equity and fairneM in the disposal of that charity-church charity-church fund. That Lehi ugar is pot only a choice article for table uie but contains all the smacking , uggetivenesr, ot an anti-nuptial parting- at ppa' front gate. That the "industrious chevalier" has i nhown a clever degree of diplomacy s.in e the grand jury began its inquiry into the Jungles oX the tijer. That the man who secures the nomination for elly marshal on the liberal Ticket will . realize that he has been through a war of the tierceut character. That the Salt Lake business block yields from 1H to 24 per cent ou the amount invested in-vested and offers better returns thau any corresponding outlay in the west. That the ultimate construction of the Deep Creek railway means the tapping of an artery from which Zion must acquire the vitalizing vi-talizing influences of another boom. That the school houses are overflowing with material for future presidents, senators and constables, and the school board is at its wits' ends to secure additional space. That there is a picturesque desolation about Old Neptune as he turns up his frothy collar tbece autumnal days aud broods over the reminiscences of a golden summer. That a rount can be a count, redeem his poker chips, feed at the most aristocratic riotel and maintain the companionship of the local bloods, notwithstanding the sneers and ridicule of a supercilious scribbler. That Assistant United States Attorney Stephens with the aid of the local authorities author-ities has removed some very ugly weeds from the social garden since the present term of the criminal court was ushered in. That Judge Powers looks forward to February Feb-ruary and its political tempests with a sort of don't-know-whether-to-or-not sensation tripping trip-ping upon and down the vertebral column. |