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Show give (is a cigarette, mo bov shuro, whin I tuck in no sthiitr tonight, I was tliiiitling how th' devil wild they pet out tlio paper at all, if it wasn't for th' few av in loft. Hare's looking at vou, Dunni." (Same night, later still, Johnnv riding homo to Bcriml Heights with carrier, car-rier, on t ew-papor i art.) Johnny "t-oy, you knows dat kid wot works nights in do li.nrs ollioe? Well, he say to me, ho itys: We're do ones wot pits dis poipoi'out,' lie says. Wid dat 1 gives him poke in do eye, for do bizuoss otlice kids is dudes' See? Him a-saying the bizness office gets out tie poipe'r! Soyl ef it wani t fur mo a-taking orders' to do blokes in tie telegraph tele-graph room and swearing at 'em proper. pro-per. I'd like to know how dor don't thvaw away dor snipe, dummy, give me a puffhow dor blooinin' poiper would get out ut nil Pat's wet I'd like ter know. See?" Edward W. Townsend. San Francisco, August, 18!0. llWl A If Ell The Credit of Getting Out a Great Mot-tropolitan Mot-tropolitan Dally News Paper, THE MM WHO KEEP IT A-GOING. From the Proprietor It Is Traoed by Grad-ations Grad-ations Down to the Boy Who Carries Car-ries the Telegraph. San Francisco Argonnut. The managing editor, news editor and the city editor.seated in the managing manag-ing editor's room, smoking cigarettes.ex-alting cigarettes.ex-alting the scoops they had that morning and belittling the scoops of the esteemed es-teemed contemporaries. Enter tho proprietor pro-prietor and editor, smoking a cigarette.) cigar-ette.) 6 PnorniTOK and Editoii: "Gentlemen, "Gentle-men, there's got to be more pop about this office, or thero will be some high-salaried high-salaried positien vacated. We were beat to death by the Bawl on the striker's riot; tho seminary scandal should have been headed up and run on the first page; that dreary old Apache outbreak stuff should have been boiled or killed, and say, who was on when that Apache story came? " Managing Editoii: It camo late; Bowler was in charge. Pkophitor and Editob "Take Bowler Bow-ler off the night desk tomorrow and put him in charge of the weekly. Take Plater off base ball and give him tho night desk. I want gome pop around at night. I want someone to mako up the paper who knows the difference between be-tween a first-page story and tho doxo-logy. doxo-logy. I want "(Exit, kicking.) (When tho proprietor and editor is gono the others smile knowingly and wearily.) Managing Editor: "That's the kind of a fool the Lord ordains shall own newspapers. Still, as long as he has sense enough to hire good newspaper news-paper men, he can have the credit of being one himself. You can have twelve columns for tho local tonight and sixteen for telegraph." (News Editor ami City Editor retire to News Editor's room.) News Editor: "Wasn't that rich-Puffer rich-Puffer saying the Boss was no newspaper newspa-per man?" City Editor: "Pot and Kettle!" News Editor: "Pufl'or ordered that Apache story himself, without consulting consult-ing me. Ho doesn't know a news story from a hair mattress. Got a Cigarettes, Cigar-ettes, Billy? Thanks. Keep that tight inside of a column tonight, and spread on the Strikers' Riot." (The City Editor goes to his room and explodes to hi assistant and a copy reader) City Editor: . "Onoe a City Editor had something to say about local mat-ter.butnow mat-ter.butnow aNews Editor with no more sense than a jay, orders you oh, it makes me tired!,," Ass'T C. E, : -"What has that luminous lumin-ous genius been ordering now, Billy? City Editor: "Says we must keep the Fight down and sproad on the Striker! " Ass't C. E. : "Rats! The Bawl spread the Strike this morning only because be-cause they knew we would keep it down." City Editor: "Yes, and tomorrow it will spread the fight for the same reason. rea-son. Then the Boss will come shouting for pop and blame this end of the shop ' Ass't C. E. : The only end with any news sense in it." (Winks prodigiously at copy reader.) City Editor: "Guess you're about right, Jack. Got a cigarette? Thanks. Let's go out and get a wad. Jon us Jimmy? " (Late that night. Night Editor and Foreman standing ' over forms. Night Editor with hand-fulls hand-fulls of proofs, Foreman with hand-fulls hand-fulls of typo.) Night Editor (to boy) : "Johnny! Take this to tho telegraph room aud ask one of the young professors there to raise it to a four heud, and say that Chicago special must be chopped off, and to rush up the tail of the Sacramento Sacra-mento stuff, and ask New York what he means bv duplicating the Associated press with this Prince George rot." Johnny: "Yezzer." Foreman. "It's a good thing there's one newspaper man in the sh p. Mr- Bowler, with kids or back numbers running nearly every other department." depart-ment." ' ... , Night Editor: "Much obliged, Alex. It does seem as if I was only man with any news sense left in the shop. Have a cigarette. Start on the first page and put It on the ninth. (Exit.) , . . Foreman (to assistant) : "W hat is this blankety blank Daffodil Cream ad. doing on the third papfi?" ass't ioKEMAN: "Marked thero. Foreman (after several minutes' speechless): "Well, blank my blank eyes' With a blank blank blank fresh Editor telling you where to put the blank news, and the blank Wank busi-ness-ofiice marking every blank ad. with a contract position blank, blank uie if I see how we get the blank paper out all these days! " Ass't Foreman: "It never would get out if you wasn't a hummer, Alex. (In Mormon's beer-joint, later, same night. Seated at table, Dunni-gan Dunni-gan who has been doing Late 1 olic, and Lvnn, who did the Figbt.) Dls'moas- ."'Aw, go chase yourself your-self 'I says to' m. 'You may be City Editor.' I rays,; 'but ypa don't know the diff between a story and a ghost. I says 'if you want this boikd to a stick. Such raw chumps they have for desk-men desk-men these days! Always having fits about feature and nsing corking stories under their noses" Lynx (iutcrrtiptg) : If it was not for th' loikes av you an' me, Dunni, to kape thim from bavin' tb' hoad bt off thim every marnlng. Shure, Dunni |