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Show Marriage With Divorce v in Vietv Is Scorned by fH Honest People. IL T"EAR MISS DENE: I have been going with a girl for five years and love her In a certain way. She loves me and has given op everyone else In the world (or me. I feci that it is my duty to marry her and In-tend In-tend to do so. But I want you to tell me if I am doing the right thing. I know that I can be happy with her alone but none of my friends like her and she does not fit In well with the people I've always gone with. She and I have agreed to get married and then If things do not work out well, to separate after a year's time. I think this Is the only fair thing to do. P. M. D. ANSWER The lady must be all-fired all-fired anxious for matrimony if she's willing to make an agreement of this sort. For even the most infatuated in-fatuated sweetheart would be loath to undertake marriage on such a cold-bloodedly peslmistic basis. It seems to me you're asking for trouble in planning a date on which you will separate by mutual consent con-sent if things don't work out well. Under the circumstances they're bound to work out badly. With both of you watching the calendar and reminding yourselves that every day brings you nearer the possible moment of separation, you will hardly have time to get used to each other or to learn how to compromise. com-promise. After five years, P. M. D., you should know whether you're happier with the girl you love or with the friend whose opinion worry you. Surely by this time your allegiance to your sweetheart has alienated the affections of your imitation friends and left you with a pretty good idea of which relationships rela-tionships are most precious. The friends who have stuck to you in spile of their being opposed to your fiancee are going on with their loyalty-through loyalty-through your marriage and everything else. You have no cause to worry about them. Neither should you worry about the crowd you know whose standards stand-ards demand a different sort of sweetheart for you. Their praise or blame cannot affect you except superficially. su-perficially. There is no case on record rec-ord of a man's giving up his true love in order to please the opinion of some superior group and finding find-ing that the crowd's approval compensated com-pensated him for his loss of a sweetheart. DEAR DORIS. DENE: I have quarreled with my husband and left him because ha prefers hia mother to me. We lived with his mother up till last week and then I left. My husband Is still with her. His mother can't stand me and made my life torment. 1 1 love my husband and want him to be with me always. But apparently he doesn't care enough for me to give up his mother. S. T. ANSWER Just a minute just a minutel You're jumping to conclusions conclu-sions so fast you haven't time to see where you're going. Because your husband doesn't desert his mother in order to follow you Is no indication indica-tion that he doesn't love you. There may be any number of reasons for his behavior and you ought to consider con-sider some of them before forming such an unfavorable opinion of your spouse's brand of devotion. In the first place, he may feel quite rightly, that you should have talked over the situation with him reasonably, before flouncing out of the house in a temper. Your sudden sud-den exit may have hurt him so that his pride prevents his following you. Did you honestly give him a chance to understand how strongly you felt on the subject? Now the man of the house may argue that you knew before you married that you were scheduled to live with Mother-in-law and that since you married on that understanding, under-standing, you're not playing fair now in walking out on the job. Isn't it true that you knew what you were in for, when you married a man who perhaps had to support his mother? And if your husband is his moth-er's moth-er's only standby, he can hardly be blamed for refusing to desert his big responsibility without a good deal of consideration and planning. Wouldn't it be selfish of him to throw over his mother, and fly after you, regardless re-gardless of her feelings? If you'd been wise you wouldn't have created a situation situ-ation in which your husband was left in such an awkward position with both contestants. The romantic lover of fiction might have dropped everything, and torn after his departing wife, pleading plead-ing with her to return. But the sensible everyday man who feels his duty toward his mother keenly, who believes in fair play and reasonable rea-sonable treatment is slow to forgive for-give the tempestuous darling who has thrown his life into chaos with her abrupt departure. He may love her deeply and tenderly yet feel that her own action has made it impossible for him to help her immediately. If you honestly feel, S. T., that the right is on your side, and that your leave taking was warranted from every point of view, have no fear since in that case your husband hus-band will assuredly come after you to make peace. Life alone with mother will not prove a satisfactory satisfac-tory substitute for the devotion of a loving wife. And the man left to endure such a dismal substitute will have a chance to figure out the rights and wrongs of the case. Bell Syndicate. WNU Service. |
