| Show SToa ES OF TOM I Some Told lay y Himself Some Told by 1 Others As a story teller teHer Colonel Thomas Por Porterhouse Ochiltree was waa wa unsurpassed Much of the success ol of a his stories was as asin In the 1118 telling and deprived of the charm of his personality they lose much in repetition Although ough Colonel Ochiltree once In Indignantly Indignantly I denied In court that he ever played poker It has always gone the rounds that the th Texan liked to take a at hand nand He once ac acknowledged acknowledged acknowledged that In former was one of the best players pl ers that ever flipped a card and he lie says that a calamity befell him only once and that was dur during during durIng ing his congressional term He had had a phenomenal run of ot luck In Washington but the tide of ot battle finally turned and he went up against it with a party of southern representatives ent In relating to sympathetic sympathetiC friends the next day the circum circumstances circumstances circumstances stances of t the tho thoe e game the colonel ad admitted I lost just last night But the 1 worst of It was that 5 6 of it was In la lacash cash 3 One day he was criticising the admin administration of Mayor 11 Strong ng He said the mayor had bUd poor judgment And I his fault dult f in fri this respect r reminds me of or Senator Jn dog story st ry he went on onA onA onA A fellow out hi Nevada bu know had a dog v bulldog a fierce looking brute which h ha owner said was the greatest fighter r In n the state stat One day a nas od h the th town t Un Tin der his waso agon vago trotted a mangy cur The bulldog saw him and started to eat him up UJ When the fight was over the Cur r was not much the worse i for It but the bulldog was a wreck I S I thought your dog was a great fighter Senator Jones said the owner of or the cur curWell curWell II Well Yell was the reply he is a great fighter but hes a poor judge of dogs I Colonel Ochiltree rolled Into the Fifth Avenue hotel one day da and began talk talkIng talkIng Ing Ins with Ith former Senator Wilbur F Saunders of at Montana Ah senator he said I see my ray old friends in the senate are standing by their guns What a horrible mistake the gold bugs made when they counted on tiring tiling out the silver senators Why Ed Wolcott and Santa Claus Stewart and Jones and the rest of them were never known to go to bed until 6 or 7 1 In the morning Ive played poker with them for twenty hours at ata ata ata a stretch and then you had to keep your eyes peeled or they would freeze you ou put I tell you ou when you try to put that crowd to sleep you have un undertaken undertaken undertaken the biggest Job a man ever everad everad jad ad on his hands Ill bet on the poker crowd every trip tripI I guess youre right colonel re replied replied replied plied Senator Saunders who knew a little about the game g e himself Wol Wolcott Wolcott Wolcott cott never sleeps As for Jones Jone I be believe believe lieve he can go a year without wink winking winking ing lug V V When Colonel was taken with a previous illness in New York his friend Clarence H Mackay got gota a tenderloin of venison gave It to Oscar of the Waldorf to cook to a turn and had it t sent over to Colonel Ochiltree The Texan eaten solid saUd food for several days but he resist the choice morsel He had eaten about abo t half of ot the venison when he became came very ill and nd quickly lost consciousness Doctors wore were hurriedly summoned and were at Colonel Ochiltree for I his lack of I When he had been beOn be n revived one of the physicians protested with the Texan Tenn Well doctor said Colonel Tom be between tween twe n breaths its quite characteristic characteristic tic tie my dying for a piece of venison o G S 0 3 S Colonel Tom returned from rom Europe two years ago at the time Richard Croker was being beins denounced by the newspapers and the then Prince ot of Wales had bad turned his back on Tod Sl an the jockey Some one mentioned the fact foot that neither Croker nor Sloan would be interviewed and that they were both alike Oh no replied There Thera is this difference One Is denounced by bythe bythe bythe the prints nd the other is renounced the V The colonel used to tell this story stoy about himself When I was a young man I went 1 to 10 the front with the Texas Rangers My father a most religious man gave me a Bible BI lo and told me to read it every night I promised and when I next saw aw him he asked Have you read your Bible regu regularly regularlY Jarly Tom Yes father I replied The old gentleman took the book opened it and pulled from between Its pages page a 20 Mil bill U He turned again and anddrew anddrew drew dr w out another anether 20 and then another Im sorry you missed this money I put here bere for tor you ou he said and for once in my life Ilfe I was speechless 0 2 0 Colonel father was on the bench in Texas at one time and in pursuance of his duties was required to travel on horseback for many weeks to toJ J complete the circuit Prior to one of f these journeys his son protested that If tr he was not made a member of ot the firm he be would no longer take care of ot othis his fathers business It was a fair kick the elder eIder Ochiltree thought and be he appointed his heir to be his partner and told him to have a sign made nae an the in the formation of the sr was as somewhat sur surprised surprised surprised upon his return to read across the full front of the shanty in which he had his office offic this announcement Thomas Ochiltree o tree and Father FatherS S S V While in London en cn one occasion Col Colonel Colonel onel Ochiltree reviewed the first per performance I of ot Mrs T P play playA A Lady From Texas Like the colo cob colonel colonel nel himself the criticism was unique It opened with a review of congressional career and then went on onto onto to teenY say With such recollections surging on me it is s impossible for me to speak of ot the th play with the coolness of the thea average a man and though 1 I have been many things I have never neer been a dra dramatic dramatic matic critic and cannot be expected to have reached that t at state boredom S which makes that wearied type of jour journalist ur the least easy to please Then he wrote a glowing tribute to the play and the actress winding up with But then Mrs OConnor and I came from Texas s After President Grant had appointed Ochiltree as a United States State Stat marshal in Texas exas the president was puzzled to ac account account acV V count for reports of the colonel being In Long Lons Branch In iii Baltimore in Sara Saratoga Saratoga V toga and everywhere except Texas The president began to wonder If Ochiltree really lived in the district in which he be had h d been appointed Oh easily c sUy explained ed Mr President said the th colonel Im rm not a A FINE FIND CA zA A STRING OF PIKE lIKE V i ic iJ E c J J 1 i s F 4 r I I v F i S S Pt be found In city of Salt Lakes size It has been aptly called caile as The above picture represents as fine a group of girls of one name might any A Fine String of Pike and as every girl In it is a Pike and a fine one too it is no misnomer All AU except two are the daughters of John Pike th others being Hattie Hattle and Annie the tile daughters of Dr Walter Pike formerly of ot Provo Annie Pike has 1 to The Herald readers through her literary work ork and the others are counted among some of the best looking as well as the brightest girls in H the city if They are from left to right Hattie Hattle Olive Annie Amy Venice Bessie sIe and nd Dixie I the Tom Ochiltree those th se fellows are talking abou about abouL He Is isa a race horse hor e that John Chamberlain named after me And it was a fact factS S 0 s Colonel Ochiltree had many friends in both houses of congress and frequent frequently ly spen spent weeks in Washington when congress was as In session One night he was sitting in a hotel talking with sev several several several eral friends including Senator Hearst of California Senator Hearst told a apathetic apathetic apathetic pathetic story of his hiJ hi overland trip to California In the days long before the tile war He said he and his companions suffered many hardships lacked food fo d dand and frequently were in distress from lack of water One day when Mr Ir Hearst Harst H arst was feel feeling feelIng feeling ing that he would die unless he had a drink he with his party passed along a 0 trail near a ranch house A young you n g red I haired boy ran up to them with a tin pail pall of water He handed it to Mr Hearst The water wa aier was wits cold and I fresh said sald Mr H Hearst arst In telling the story and I never had a draught that did me so much good and for which I J Iwas Iwas was so grateful Many and many ninny a time have I thought of that red d boy and wished I could see him In order or order order der to tell him how grateful I was yas and reward him Id give gie him if I could see him now the senator added earnestly earne Uy Colonel Ochiltree arose arose and bowed Senator he said saI l you have a chance to realize your dream and to show your gratitude I was that boy A Chicago liar tried to outdo Colonel Ochiltree one day He said he had just returned from the Carlsbad springs where he had experienced a cure ure You dont say said the colonel Yes indeed Inde d rambled on the th Chi CM Chicago cago liar You see I was suffering from liver complaint and after consult consulting consulting ing ins the greatest physicians in America I decided to go to Carlsbad Humph I I never supposed you took any stock in water said scUd Ochiltree V scornfully Neither do when It Is plain But ButI I carried a flask of ot fine old Bourbon in my Inside pocket and when I reached the famous springs I kinder diluted the water so as to disguise its taste and will you believe me the following morn morning morning m rn ing I was entirely cured and when I woke up I found myself the possessor I of a a brand new liver i iBah Bah nothing Colonel Tom I ejaculated If I believe me i Sure yelled half a dozen listeners i If believe me continued c the Texan rexan unperturbed I Iliad had a liver com corn complaint complaint plaint the worst A way ay antI and anc was a perfect martyr before I went to Texas to try f pt lurE d While there re I met a man who had a anew anew I new brand of pills known as the Amer American American Amerlean ican lean Liver and Light Cure Being a firm believer in American remedies I pur purchased purchased purchased chased a single pill pm took it and al at almost almost most instantly possessed a tin liver Ilver with electric light kidneys Home In Industries Industries Industries gentlemen home industries But they led him away to the cafe cafeo o 3 0 S S V Colonel Ochiltree once got the better of a lawyer r in New York City who ho tried to make fun of him on the wit witness witness witness ness stand It was in March 1894 when the colonel had his nurse James F P FLynch FLynch Lynch arrested on the charge of steal teal stealIng tealIng Ing Ins a gold watch a betting book an overcoat an umbrella which he had bought in and a aroU roll of bills bUls He said that he be had lost all this prop property property property erty when he was ill III at 8 S West Thirty third street As soon as the colonel took the stand the lawyer for the nurse asked I You were suffering from too high living at this time were you not Well I live in the cellar r I Ican Ican Ican can tell you was the answer 4 But you had been drinking too l No sir I had not been drinking although I am not a bigoted teetotal teetotaller ler was the prompt answer But this watch you JOu got that for a I poker debt persisted the lawyer who wh was beginning to get red behind b the ears II No it was too honest a watch for far that it had an open face chuckled the witness The lawyer blushed up to the roots of ot his hair took a hitch h in his sus suspenders suspenders suspenders penders and then went at the com corn complainant ferociously with this question But look here Are you perfectly sure that this man took your our watch Could not someone else have stolen It If J you had bad ever called on me quietly remarked the colonel I t might have luve believed you had stolen stol n it The lawyer thereupon gave up the G 0 S On one occasion upset Lord Lonsdale when that Englishman was wasI being entertained In New Ne York Y ork City Cit on his way home from Alaska Lord Lons Lonsdale Lonsdale Lonsdale I dale had been telling many thrilling stories and an audible oh went around the table when he finished tell telling lug ins of a petrified forest In Africa In which he found a number of petrified lions and elephants As the English Englishman man lapsed into silence and the ap applause applause applause sank to an echo all looked to Colonel Ochiltree to defend his nation nationality nationality and beat this petrified lIOn Uon Story Texas said the compel colonel after a 4 pause paus has its petrified forests orests but although they contain no petrified liOns hens they are a remarkable for having petri petrified petrified fied fled birds flying over them Nonsense said Lord Lonsdale that Is impossible Such a phenomenon ph nome non boa Is contrary to the laws of gravitation gravitation gravitation tion Ah easily explained re responded responded responded Colonel quickly I The laws of gravitation down there are too I |
