Show Mr Dooley on the Sport of Kings I y u ne e J I 90 by h If C Have ye e her Iver been to Ii a horse race Mr Ir Hennessy Hennesey asked said Mr Ir Dooley tan uan only But mind ye I know about m roc c caa aa 11 Ive I ve got to Id lose a deal dealt i t e j ff I expert In Ivry branch i iv human humlin knowledge They talk bout colledge bean beIn paid lid But how about US retail liquor dealers A colledge pro fi spills jess thoughts out his head to mere that dont ont dine dare to fight back backY Y Ye niver heerd 1 iv a misinformed grad gradate gradate ate five years to whack haek his in the th e eye e because pd p d boon been taught that a man can make a 1 fortune fr tit th But m my clas classes es aTIO arre composed Iv h able bodIed men many Iv thim far ad advanced Iii an Ivo Ive got to know what l Im m about tin An hArd an lf got to know what bout an almost t Impossible So rye Ive followed th news an anI anI I know abo about l th performances Iv th li gs an queens Iv th turf In the lh spring I Forty thousand peo l Ile acclaimed th Gum hrop mighty s on n Iv a worthy sire ing ov tit th turf turC Hats off to blinders an a muzzle to keep him over the th fence tence or atin th ih starter an mercilessly lashed be that peerless jockey little BIll Billy Flinn t I li monarch iv th Iv kings be a supreme burst h iv speed vanquIshed thO th gallant Stuff II an th sturdy Pickled benight an even evon compelled th hither hitherto to Invincible Maud H to bow her lovely hood hoed In defeat Af tl thor or th rare race th proud owner i lv the th mighty son on 1 iv a w sire A Bliff former Iv wire tappers ra 4 dollars fr Cr this mighty son iv a worthy sire At me is on n I tall talk b a gOod deal about him to spoor tin m men n who come in hero here Cr and knowledge I watch the close fr th day Ill see Mighty lighty throng cheers peerless to In Instead Instead stead iv h that I see oK off badly got a pO poor ride was knocked out o t Iv his at thO th turn an had no speed Tit Th next w k Its off well was badly handled Thin too fast fr An finally Glue Elimination Tunic fr Cr homes that were d dead ad thirty dollars added selling ran like th dog he is an anI finished absolutely last An th next I 1 winter I run accost this item item In th Few Iv the th manny men I who puss pass through thO th union Ivry day on their way ay to wurruk know that thO th want mighty kin king iv h th turf turC Is now connected with wan Iv i ith th cabs near noor th main an can be seen hillin his blushes in a nose ba bag Th former mighty son Iv a worth worthy sire Ire is owned by I who bet much money on him him an na I has a great affection fr him He says US lie he Is almost even with WillI hUn hit i ino no now an soon expects to shoot hint hIm 1 An so they go Th turf romances I dont last long There are arc more kings an queens queen iv th turf turC in wan wall season thin there are arc 1 iv France an a good manny But Its a grand an which Hogan asked me to go goan goan an see it I wins wint wan Iy iv these fin fine summers da days s ye e feel like a flannel shirt In th Ili wash an I was what shape shap rd Pd be in I cooled Hogan burst through th dure with a telescope hung rOund his neck an says lie he May dye ye stick slick such a da day Come out an breathe th Ili fresh air he says an th Iv kin kings s Ive got a good thing In th first nice ho sa says sNot Not he says that I euro a out that Bottin Is th poorest feature IY iv racin th open all air tit the fresh breezes Ui th clear sky th crowds Iv happy happ careless people spend spondin In it a day free fro rare are an worry mIdst he sa says s pleasant surroundIngs he sa says s tit thO mIghty heroes Iy iv tit tho turf fr an he says s maybe maybo in a lit little tl tle money fr r Hogan he sa says s So I wint Goin to thO th spoors Iv kings is much thO th same as goin to a picnic iv the union We Vo rode on a car as long longas as let us fr a cents an thin we we boosted Into a railroad car been kindly lent to tie th passenger department be thO th freight agent lr fr tit th occasion An awa away wo we bumped Tit Th car was filled to th dew point with what Hogan calls Iv th 1 iv kings I 1 thought I recognized some fellow members rs iv th Retail Liquor Dealers Protective an Asso an rot a few lew customers iv h the th same All th an gintry had their coats off Fair women added ga gayety to thO th scene Manny iv thim were just off their private yachts an still Chad had on their caps Their faces were Hushed flushed with happIness an wore tle th but hunted expression Iv mothers that have busted into bank with a can opener We Ve cheerily along through thO th pleasant suburban scenery with stas Iv thO th house ks glue tit th homes iv tit th bone dust a an miles Iv city dumps As s I hung aIrily to a pall pair Iv blue in front iv me while a patrIcian behind me used me back fr fra a desk to mark his program I heerd tie th flow Iv fight an careless conversation Hell wIn In If the they poisoned himI him I 1 lose eighty on him last time If I dont get it back toda today there therell II be it a new face at th cashiers window Hello Mike did ye get out An so on onA onA A typical hearty ar ay crewel cr d says I Wat lu me boot we arrived at thO ih I felt me heart beatin fast If H ye e niver saw a race yo ye can hardly ImagIne what It looks like How can I describe it to ye beyond sayin that it is something like a coal yard ard Picture if yo ye will miles on miles iv h stately board fence so seine ne Iv it tasteful tastefully ly painted brown an some 1 iv it taste tastefully Cull fully not painted at all Outside are the th handsome stables or ye might sa say shreds thed where th equine heroes arre I nourished Cr their turtles Iv speed an endurance It happiness to see seeth thO th 1 iv tIl mighty Running Hunning Yet who wu ve won th Blithers BUthers if he got despondent about th odds Inside thO scene was even more las fas A gentle genUe breeze blew accost tit th swamp in thO th middle 1 Iv th thO th adjacent switch yard ard TIC Th sun was reflected In a thousand mud mid Imd middles les on thO th The Tho grand stand was filled with happy people yellin Set down there Why Vh dont ye e look where yere goIn Ill knock eer block off boo ho If yere ere not careful What dye hear Tomorrah honest Ye can take me watch If ye dont be believe lieve me An enormous Iv po were busy vast hordes Iv pickpocketS th Di bettin rIng Th ninety bartenders were like th fire department at a fire h in a lard It was fine Where arre tit the horses sa says s I Olt Oh niver mind thim says sas Hogan Lets go In an look at th odds An he bundled me Into thO th bettin ring Most iv th Id met on th an a few tew more were there What wore were they doln doin Ye cant guess Ye niver would imagine It The They were in tit th bettin ring to take th money away th bookmakers loud ye believe It that there be people so lost to th beauties Iv nature an so In th spirit Iv that they shu be this here great enterprise Cr th Improvement 1 Iv th breed 1 iv horses to skin money out iv those these pub publishers Ushers lishers But so it was An they were loin do in it in th meanest way ye e can Imagine fr Cr ivry wan iv 1 these pilferers had private information that th book bookmakers bookmakers makers get hold 1 iv on account 1 Iv th confined nature iv h their employ employment m ment nt Some Iv them had got it out iv thO th mornin some iv them had bought it fr five cents a spy on thO th an others had It Im Im sorl sorry to say that Hogan was th worst 1 iv tit thO lot Its it a beautiful day says I 1 It Is that Hogan Ill go home with mone money In me cars he says sas sasAn An he fought his way up tu to where a poor fellow iv a long persecuted be our was ab absentmindedly blowin on a lImon dimon ring to cool ool It off What are arc ye gain goin to do says I 1 cant lose lit iii th first race says la s Hogan I got It th lh stable But sa says s I Is this right Here ye e have be cun cunning cunning ning gaIned private knowledge be means iv v which ye are goin to deprive wan 1 iv fellow m men en 1 iv his lIttle say MV sayings ings Is it jUst s says s I Is it lair fair Is Isit Isit it Is It manly He gave no heed to what I said but called out outTen outTen Ten on Th poor fellow looked far awa away an remarked to a young friend who was settin alongside as he dropped Hogans ten on a pile Iv Cor tilyous In flure I Thirteen thousand housand to ten Maxey Im afraid were goin to have another shower an I have no top on me We 0 want up in th grand stand to Se Seth see seeth th race at th post says Hogan Ho Hogan gan Where says I Over Oer there says he n to whore a group ot of horses wore were kickin each other That wan near th fence Is Hes In good spirits says he He is that I says I How happy happ le he seems seems Look Lookhe i iho ho he thinks th race lace is thO th other way a around round Now that fellow has caught hIm hIman himan an Is towing hIm up to the th start An Another Another other noun man Is him with a whip NoW hes to bite his jockeys leg legoff legoff off Now hes th horse next to hint hIm Glory he hC hut but hes th fine mettle mettlesome mettlesome some crather Did ye e aver Iver think Iv buy in him dui an keeping hIm In thO th house says I Hogan made n no reply but give a low paInful moan off that time on nn I was savin me new hat the th purple parasol 1 iv the ih lady ludy sot set settin tin next to me Th moment thO th race started she he threw off all reserve an anmann mann Iv her hair pins an began batin me new lint hat Come on says thO th lady Come on you Oll do Come on you ou seal Oh you ou says she lashin away at me new hat An thin she swooned a way away all I seen seon Iv the race I looked Hogan His face was light green In color He was up his program with wan hand an a button on ell his coat with th other An I left him there thero an want away to find a place where me new hat be In danger I found Cound It over oyer In a corner contOr Iv th wh where re th owner Iv tit th tirade set settin tin In thO lh shade Iv th fence thO th advertisements iv his new copper mine I knew him well He owns thO U Temple Iv Chance where Hogan whIles away his salary In th winter Why Vh aint ye re out lookin at th horses run says I I 1 dont like horse rae mc In says he My lly wurruk Is through rye Ive counted up th box office flint Aint ye In thO breed Iv horses says I Xo No more says he thin Iam I am in th breed 1 iv faro boxes I cant see between thim only another way Iv honest men gettin getlin comin to thim Take Tako fried Hogan He thinks lies i In th hors horses 8 But what hes tes In Int t in is whether me young an Moss lo e aril g give e him back hIs ten an some be besides besides sides Yf Ye see In hIs expression slon TIn n lost toda an thO lh shin spot POt lout last Ull win winther flier ther alt ali th saute me boy Close up that there thele betting ring an ye have more people at wan wall Iv plays thin at R a race nuE If farmer fanner down Ot tate hi his fairs with a little pool fellin In thO th Id subdivide this here hEr hErt t rack an sell thO It lots to th lh Iv tl thO bucket sho shoes Has Mogan Hosan lost much so far Hes lost tit thO ony bet t thes lies hes made sa says a I L lies Hes loin doln very well weil fr Cr Hogan Hogun says h hI he heI I ye cant atop stoll people gambling I dont dmit koo know that I If I cud It seems ems to take their minds off tit the more coarse ways way Iv J money lIke wurruk all an bu mess Money ioney is a ave avery ve very pleasant nt thing to have an too bad we hav have such a delightful hou on with gettin up arty arly In an car carryl I a hod all day or sellin R a dollar an ana ana a halls worth Iv shoes fr Cr two to dollars But the th money yo ye got be gambling has no such It lightly an laughingly up to ye e ye keep It around with ye e Cr r a day or two an thin it goes back bacle home TI Th money ye make be wurruk is like a member Iv th family Ye feel reSponsible Pr fr It fl Ye dont like to see ace it go out nights But Butth thO th money ye re make be gamblin is 15 like Cl a visitor ony gem to stay awhile an that frequently asks ye out to have havea a Well Vell said Hennessy Ive heerd it said that that all ail lifes a gamble It Iso is said d Mr Ir Dooley but it aint a bad Wet ides hin ye f Into tho th game to tarn how to play it an to cut th cards deep t f a |