| Show lf t TH THE C H ULO LOR RI IDE D F tI H 0 L D DU tV P P I BY HARRY IRVING GREENE E E I I We Ye met through one of the misdeals of chance nance hance and for two months there thereafter thereafter thereafter after could never rid ourselves of each earh others presence Then ThenA Alfalfas lad lady acquaintance who dispensed tickets at atthe the ne dance pavilion sent ent him a clock spring saw aw in the crust of a prune pie and at once we begun besun to lead a new life Alfalfa insisted that Inasmuch as ashe ashe ashe he had furnished the working capital it was up to us captains of industry to todo todo todo do the manual hustling so he retired to his hi boudoir and amI lay down on the iron girt divan Cheyenne Red s said aid Id that all tired out as us he was waR he could war warble warble ble bit refrains to drown the th noise as I sawed off the thc bars so there was nothing left for me to do but bo be b gentlemanly and strenuous NI I make a lovely opening and then we decided who would go through first by bya a game gamp of Red said It itt v t Uld have hae been more appropriate to call it Alfalfa cheated and won and soon l Imd iad ad himself reduced to first principles He k was and beautifully made and the way he went through that aperture was a de delightful delightful delightful expose of Delsarte It was as my turn next but I measure up two cubic ubie yards any way you figure me and when I looked at that little puncture in the tle wall I felt like hike tackling something not so near my m size But I 1 like to stay sta behind either About half way ay through I stuck Al Alfalfa Alfalfa Alfalfa falfa got hold of me from the outside and began to haul but the only result was tas to stretch me like a rubber band and finally he got disgusted and quit Then Red who was still within got scared for fear fir that I had permanently plugged the opening and started to push No use talking you OU have got to tomake tomake tomake make room for your our betters If you ou dont act decent about it and cle r the right of way Ill take a slot out of the bed and drive you through like a nail said he He Ho would have done It MO to i if it Alfalfa become suddenly In Inspired Inspired inspired Grease him Red fled he be chuckled and before the words were well out of his mouth Cheyenne was smearing me with oil from the lamp and rubbing It In with the stub end of the jail broom I Ilet Ilet Ilet let out a holler but Alfalfa said Shut up What hat will Carmencita 0 OHagan Hagan say sa when she comes by on her hernay herway way nay ay to ea a ly y mass if she gazes upon you ou as I do now Put on the rest of the oil Red fled said saidI I 1 with a shudder He did and a mo moment moment ment later had braced his shoulder against me while Alfalfa took a fresh hold on his particular terminus Push Red he whispered beginning to strain You bet grunted Red fled from the jaiL What I said will never be pub fished in this or any an other language feet slipped on the stones and he h began to get mad Now you wriggle harder or Ill touch a match to you he swore and a moment later I r left that hole with a pop like a cham champagne champagne cork Red came through with without without without out touching the sides dragging our clothes after him thin and we stood fret frei and amid unhampered upon the bosom of the th United States The dawn blushed Ten minutes later Red came back to our arms from over the transom of or a hardware store stort dangling with Colt and bulging with cart cartridges cartridges i ridges like an ammunition train Then we hit lilt time the trail suddenly and hard and for forth forthe f the next few days everything came caine our way First it was the sheriffs sheriff pose posse next it was the Citizens pelf ent Conglomeration for the Up boosting of the Law nit But t at the end of a week there was nothing much in insight Insi insight sight si ht but tho th horizon Poker is a R grand science but like lik astronomy it has its limitations After Arter we had each lost and won back his gun times in four days day our mental ap appetites appetites appetites petites craved something less exhilarating exhilarating We Te were at the ford of the tho San Santos Santos Santos tos and said Red Lets hold up the Chloride stage Alfalfa began to meditate Its been lIeen so long since the passengers infesting the old bus have been cleaned up that they the ought to be middling dusty dust he remarked your our senile opinion w of it Cupid All right said L 1 Im your jour party of the third part Alfalfa began to grow pessimistic Just imagine said he scornfully just imagine an infinitesimal scrubby flamboyant son of a stage with real humans on it He pointed a derisive finger at Red That so said Cheyenne with a it snap of his teeth Ill Ihl show you ou He ripped a slice of black alpaca out of his coat lining and disappeared behind the scenery seen en Presently he came back bristling up to us like an insulted ins hedgehog Elevate your grub hooks said he tersely training his ordnance our way wa Listen to him sighed Alfalfa Thinks hes lies an elevating spectacle dont he Reds Red gun went off casually and a spoonful of dirt hopped up from between Alfalfas knees and plumped fair Into his mouth All right Red he yelled do Cheyenne sat down beside us looking hooking proud and pleased But that hair of yours ours mused Al Alfalfa Alfalfa falfa Once seen never forgot And Andas as for that mask you ou might us as well stick f a postage stamp on your shoulder shoulderblade shoulderblade shoulderblade blade for all the disguise It would be bl Yet hold bold He snatched gun out of his hand and the next sec second second second ond had him by both ears from behind V C r q I i 4 i 1 W I f c cf f A I 7 4 I j fri r t She was perched on a n big t b bf fhe the raze Maze with the tile Navajo around ar und her When Then we had been in durance Alfalfa 1 had squandered his la I lass dime for an acre of wrapping paper and a bottle of ink so that he could write letters to himself and no sooner did he get Reds head clamped between his knees than he got the ink bottle out and began to shampoo him conscientiously You could have heard Red holler holier for a mile and a half Shut up and think how happy you are chided Alfalfa Sing for him Cupid while I cure his scalp Up the trail we heard the rumble of wheels and Red got on his feet with his mouth full of ink and serious language But there was no time to waste so Chey Cheyenne Cheyenne Cheyenne enne scuttled off behind a bowlder while Alfalfa and I cut out a couple of face screens and took our positions Red had agreed to take care of the driver and Alfalfa contracted to amuse the passengers while I passed the hat Choctaw Pete Pele the Chloride driver had been held up so long and so persistent persistently ly b that he had become domesticated and tame and usually ended up an epi episode episode episode sode like the forthcoming by borrowing a chew of tobacco from the man behind the gun on the strength of his good conduct So at Reds first yelp up went his hands and he merely merel leaned back backon on the box and gazed at us with an anair anair anair air of resignation and Then out of pure good nature Alfalfa put a cou couple couplet couple of bullets through the lid of the coach and inside they began to stam stampede stampede stampede pede around like a bunch bunh of oC steers in ina Ina ina a box car I threw open the door Kindly emerge one at a time meek and respectful as befits those about to top perish p said I and out staggered the first victim He was a little fellow with flowing black whiskers and im immediately Immediately immediately mediately his feet touched the trail down he lie flopped on his benders and began to beg with both paws like hike an educated poodle Get up said I disgustedly What are you making all this fuss about I aint going to do anything but kill you Superficially viewed he looked promising enough but when I 1 came cameto cameto cameto to prospect him him I thought I was searching a n Nothing but dimes and nickels and for a moment he had me guessing then I did some lightning thinking and as a result a moment later was combing out his whiskers with my fingers At tt about the third rake I pulled out a little box and in it were three sparklers as bright as the eyes of a Spanish girl girland girland girland and each one about the size of a nut nutmeg nutmeg nutmeg meg Now Not O you go over against that rock and stand on your our head until the order is countermanded coun said I pressing the gun gently against the back of his thinking plant He Be was scared into gib gibbering gibbering gibbering bering Idiocy and Ill be hanged if he trot off and try to do it Now next gentleman I hollered into the interior Next gentleman was short and plump and wheezing like an accordion with the hay fever By diligence and single singleness singleness singleness ness of purpose I at last subtracted a handful of coarse bills from him and then led him a few yards away by the proboscis Now you OU run rapid circles around this coach a hundred and twenty twenty twenty ty times and every time you pass me beg my pardon I counseled He en entered entered entered an awful protest but I was firm firmand firmand and eventually got him started auspiciously clou I Now you come out next per person person person son I hollered into the coach Im going to make you climb a tree The next second I wa was staggering back as if I had been lIeen hit hilt in the face with a mallet for the steps came caine the prettiest girl I had seen since the night I vanished over the western hori lion horizon horizon zon Tall and aai Gibson snapping black blackeyes blackeyes blackeyes eyes and lips like the heart of a water watermelon watermelon watermelon melon she sIte was a thoroughbred from the bottoms of her French heels to the tho pearl shells at the tips tip of her white I fingers My mask fell off but I 1 was wasi i too rattled to care so I just stood there therewith I with my mouth open and stared like a reub Oh said she gathering her hel skirts and settling before me as If I had hail been the Punjab of Swat What hat hata a fine looking gentleman Red began to swear low and sweet but Alfalfa outright Aint seen me rue with my m blinders oft ot yet lady he lie called beginning to climb down I had covered him before he made three steps Now you ou whoa You may stand there and stomp your feet and look wistful but all I said In set tones tone Alfalfa stopped and appeared to meditate Sorry to rob you OU without an intro introduction Introduction introduction miss but Ill have to trouble you OU for that lovely solitaire I began clearing my throat and beginning to turn hot in spots She flashed me me a smile that made my hair pull and com corn commenced commenced twisting the band b nd off Where is the tree she asked looking around Now you OU stop it That aint fair fairI I blurted turning as red as a diamond flush Then before I remembered the guile of female kind she got the ring off and dropped It plump down her neck There said she satisfied like I guess guess that is safe anyway I 1 leaned up against the wheel and looked at her as she stood there laugh laughIng laughIng laughIng Ing in my my face Cace I knew that Alfalfa and Red would have shot me so eo full of lead that my corpse would have weighed a ton if I had laid a finger on her and of course I would have done doneas as much for them with equal pleasure She knew it too and she kept on laughing Red and Alfalfa had sneaked down and were on either side of me ready for quick movements She looked from one to the other of us I had thought that highwaymen were always coarse brutal men and not at all like Me 1 e chipped in Red stripping off his mask and bending over like a hinge His face was streaked and blotched un until until until til it looked like an ink blotter and at atthe atthe atthe the sight she ghe laughed like the tinkle of ofa ofa ofa a silver bell No not at all like you But I am so glad you gave me an opportunity to get out of that dusty old coach It is such a n relief She gave her skirts a flirt and then frowned a little Mr Robber please make that poor man stop running around the coach He is I making himself positively ridiculous You stop that running I yelled at him raising my gun You ought to b be ashamed of yourself Climb that bank bauk and lie Ho down and pant yourself to death So up he went while I apolo apologized apologized apologized for him And that poor little man trying to stand mand on his head and tumbling over overall overall overall all the time Really Heally it ha has hall ceased to be amusing In a second Alfalfa had him by the neck and was kicking him after the other man That la Is i much better I thank you very much Mr Ir Bandit Bandl she sIte went on as sweet as a jug of rock and rye Immediately Alfalfa began to strut What happened hap next came as sud suddenly suddenly denly as the telling There was wall a roar from behind and down the gulch came a bank bonk of water ten feet high while back of it the gorge was a seething millrace Cloudburst I yelled grab grabbing grabbing grabbing bing her by the arm arni and making for the time side sille Choctaw snatched up the time reins relm and larruped the time horses Into a run and alid the next I was going down downstream downstream downstream stream on that tide like a chip my arm around her waist and hers around my ray neck waterlogged to my throat strang strangling strangling strangling ling drowning delirious with joy jO But about five minutes tes later we drifted into a landing place and I lifted her out Then Red came crawling up all one smear of ink and soon afterward Al Alfalfa Alfalfa Alfalfa falfa went by on a log with all sails set But of course with his usual luck he found a port further down and came canto back to us overland We Ve built a couple of fires one for us usand usand usand and about yards away another for her while Red fished a Navajo blanket out of the burst Then we fixed up a screen for her and drew a dead line In Ina Ina a couple of hours we were as dry as the state of Kansas and the darkness was falling faIlIng thick and fast We hadn caught a glimpse of our prisoner since sinco the blanket went up nor heard from her either but now that silver bell voice came through the gloom Wont you come over to my fire gentlemen f Would we come It was a stampede with a heartbreaking finish I first Al Alfalfa Alfalfa Alfalfa falfa a neat second with Red hanging on to his coattail like a bull pup with the lockjaw She was perched on a big rock beside the blaze with the Navajo around her Imer And sweet and tempting Well Vell I would have picked my soul out with a sharp stick and toasted it the fire if she had hal asked me to Thero was wag another rock close alongside the theone theone theone one she was sitting on and the moment Red and Alfalfa snatched me off of it itI ItI itI I had a presentment that there might be trouble But she settled It easily enough Please so dont quarrel gentlemen Continued on Page 8 I J f The Ch CHloride d d HoldUp Hold Up Continued Ud from m Page Pa 1 f she said s Jd and we saw the tips of ot her white even teeth Now if It you OU all really desire to sit where there Is room for only one we will decide It this way I presume su o 4 gallant gentlemen have al all made Iome woman toman love loe you in the course of ot your adventurous careers have ha e you not notI I r have lied Red fled Lots Lota of them thelT Each Ea h of or you shall tell me how you youvon ou won von your first sweetheart swe theart and then I will decide who Is most worthy to sit beside me Since you have admitted such affairs a rs you may have the first chance Mr Red Cheyenne began to bloat It was down at he began years ago I was at ata a fandango o one night and a masked lady came Into the room and I danced with her She said that she trotted In the most moat aristocrat aristocratic ic tc circles and that her name was Mer Mercedes Mercedes Jer |
