Show LAUGH RAISING STORIES I or OF THE NOTABLES General Gen Booth was talking to toa a New NewYork NewYork York reporter Are you saved 7 he asked suddenly The Tho young man flushed stammered and d hesitated Well Wen said the th general do not de despair There te Is a chance even for Zor New NewYork York reporters Then discussing prayer General Ge eral Booth told a story a story with a mor al aJ There was a k young y ung clergyman ap 81 appointed poInted jointed to a small country town toW he began and a short time after ter his hl ar arrival arrival rival a man in leggings stopped him on the street one day bowed respectfully re and said in a trem tremulous tremulous tremulous ulous voice If It you yo please sir would you rou mind next Sabbath offering up a abit abit abit bit of ot prayer for Milly Dean The minister of course assented The man whose look was worried and haggard took teok leave gratefully And on the next and nd two following Sundays Dean was prayed for from the pulpit Then one afternoon the man In leggings met the minister again I Thank you lor br t r them prayers sir he lie said but you pray no more mor for tor Milly Dean 4 Why said the other shocked Is she dead deada a Dead said the man in leggings No Just won the Blue Ribbon handicap by a length and a half balt Alfred Altred G Vanderbilt was talking V about the train wreck In which he ho was last month involved at Mount Murray However said Mr Vanderbilt HI I have fault to find with our rail railroads railroads roads In most respects they are the best in the world OrId Ho Smiled Some people like fo at attack attack attack tack the railroads They like to gather statistics to prove that the railroads are extortionate reckless of life Ute and so on In these attacks there is usually usually usually ally about as much truth as there is in that story about the railroad in the west A man from the east said that on a western trip he rode across the tho prairies in a train that hardly went faster taster than a walk Cattle dogs and tramps passed him Finally in a deso desolate desolate late lat place the tho train stopped The pas passengers passengers passengers began begun to fume and fuss Why this stoppage What could be the mat matter matter matter ter In the midst of the angry turmoil the conductor came slinking through the tho car He Re bent over the easterner and with a shamefaced air whispered Say have you got a 3 piece of string about you We want to fix the cn en gino Lady Cook who wl was Tennessee Cl before her marriage at a din dinner dinner ner ncr during her hE r recent visit to Washing ton ion argued the question of ot woman suf suffrage suffrage suffrage frage with a senator Ah Ab senator said Lady Cook at the arguments end you dont consider consid t this question as a whole You only consider a part of It You are like Ulee the theman theman theman man who weighed the dog A lady owned a huge huso St Bernard dog that she was very proud of ot She told her gar gardener gardener gardener dener one day to take the tho jog dos and weigh him The man departed with the animal and half an a hour later he returned Towser rowser maam he be said weighs just pounds I A hundred pounds exclaimed the lady Ho He must weigh more than that Are you sure surG you weighed him right Oh yes maam maani said the gardener Im sure I weighed him right only I get got him hint all on the scales It J 3 G 0 Phelps Stokes spoke with good humored regret at a dinner in New NewYork NewYork NewYork York of ot a charity chartty that had failed tailed But it failed tailed through its own fault said sale Mr Stokes It failed because it was wa mistaken It suggests to me an n exper experience per lence of ot a friend of o mine in Ireland My friend at about this season last year was motoring through a remote region of ot Ireland and one day he be came caine upon a poor old woman seated with al an her humble furniture about ab ut her in the middle of the road before her little cabin My friend was profoundly moved Here before his very eyes an eviction a real Irish eviction was tak talc takIng taking ing lug place He got out of his car ear anc and gave the old woman a E 5 note Tell Tel me he said what is the trouble my poor friend 7 Bobbing and Tier her gratitude gratItude tude the old woman replied sir me mans Thomas A Edison criticised at At Atlantic Atlantic lantic City a scientific writer He is a afine afine afine fine chap said the inventor but lIe he knows nothing about ab ut machinery His knowledge of machinery is like Uke that thet o oa of ofa ofa a business man to whom I talked bIked one day It was at the time when type typewriters typewriters writers had first come out aut and the man had taken several or trial and was testing them to see which if It any he would buy Well Wen I said how TIOW do you like Uke those typewriters you are trying He shrugged Impatiently Oh he said all aU about ab ul alike aUke They print well wen enough but they dont spell one word in three correctly Poultney Bigelow was giving som advice to a young man who was about abou to join for tor the first time the great army anny of tourists that has already started on its annual trip across the Atlantic Mr Bigelow adverted to the extraordinary amount of at painting that goes on aboard an ocean liner On a certain ship one day ho said saidI I put my hand band on a freshly painted ventilator and while removing the white smear I fell tell Into conversation with the seaman who was responsible for tor the trouble He was an elderly chap and he ho had visited many outland outlandish ish places As he plied the brush we had an interesting chat How long have you been a sailor said I finally 4 Sailor the old man grumbled dip dipping dipping ping his brush into the can Bless yer heart sir Im no sailor nowadays Im Ima a artist thota wot I am Some women said sald John W TV Gates not all women but some of at them are very poor speculators very poor sam gain biers A young friend of o mine has a pretty cousin He was going to the tho thoraces races the tha other day and she ho called him up on the telephone and asked him to put no 10 on Forest King for tor her herVery 4 Very Ver well he Bald sal TU Til dp do dolt it if you VU pay me back backOf backOf backa a Of f course Ill pay you back bacic you vou horrid thing exclaimed excl med the cousin 4 All right said he You the thelast thelast last time 4 Ob Oh h well said she sh last tune tIm the horse horsa win you know MOW t 1 John Alexander Dowie had a grant grand knack of or putting things quaintly anc and forcibly At one of his bis last meetings he attacked the modern mother of so society so society clety the mother who neglects her children Why he said al I overheard the meat remarkable conversation between two nursemaids on a s car yesterday a Are you going to the picnic salt said ald the first nursemaid n V 4 No said Bald the second Tm afraid Int I shant nt b be there ther Why not cried d the first And Mid you so fond too o oi oC picnics and dancing and ad an young men enand and all aU that there Oh Ob saW saM sa the other Td Id dearly love W to ge met But to teH ie you tH Ilie truth lx fra t l 1 av V tb u 3 It c cf l V f |