Show I I UMPIRES WHO ARE I I Tim Hurst Cracks Good Yarn on Boy Whose Grandmother Dies Tim Hurst Hur t Is II another um urn umpire umpire pire and dearly dearl loves a merry merT je t In Inthe Inthe Inthe the winter time his reminiscences of or mat matters matters matters connected with baseball are rich varied and interesting The latest he lie has been telling in New NewYork NewYork York deals with a n St Louis boy bo who ho asked his employer last summer to let I lethin t him hin off oft that afternoon as he lie wished to attend his grandmothers grandmother funeral fun era I But this employer happened to have hae a atoo atoo atoo too retentive memory and he said Bald to the th I boy bov Now look here kid dont take me for an nn easy mark just because you ou want to go to the ball game And dont lie He about your our grandmother being dead cause I let you ou off twice last summer to attend your our grandmothers funeral This the stern employer thought would the bo boy but he was as mistaken as ns the youthful fan fah who was as quick to im tin improvise sorrowfully replied as WI he hc brush brushed ed Imaginary tears from his eyes with his coat sleeves Deed I aint a to you ou But how ho cried the exasperated em employer employer can you ou have any an more grand grandmothers grandmothers grandmothers mothers to bury bUT when wh n you ou already alread plant planted ed two last summer Well Vell you ou see see fobbed the boy whose tender feelings were much hurt me father was a Mormon M I Silk In Race for Con Congress Congress II I I gress Equal to Emergency Silk OJ the now famous um urn umpire umpire pire made a dash for congress two years ears ago He Be had an idea that as a representative representative from the Rochester district of or New NewYork Xe NewYork York state he could call balls and strikes on all matters of or a legislative character taking place in the United States capital Silk It is said believed that he could put a few of the most momentous trou propositions out of or the con congressional congressional gressional game With th this laudable pur purpose purpose purpose pose he went out after the job in his usual forceful way wa and although through the th density den It of o the voters oters or a in signals he was handed the lemon instead of oC the congressional job he made some original speeches and was only once in bad straits This occurred at a little town about miles south of Rochester where Silk on mounting mo the rostrum made his usual opening announcement which went as follows follos Now Xu gentlemen I am ready to meet any an emergency that may ma arise When Silk had got thus far in his speech the flimsily constructed platform on which he ho was standing anding gave gac away awa and buried burled the orator in the ruins Just at that moment one of or those mean and tan tantalizing tantalizing tantalizing individuals always to bo ho found in the rear of or a crowd blurted out How about that one That one at once retorted Silk from beneath several tons of oC lumber did not notarise notarise arise aris i |