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Show WAIFS. Tho toper's nong "Over the iill to the poor h' ne." " The rian who hesitates is lost." TtiL iu iu -i .io lieeitates is ielt. A baby has been born in Michigan with three arms. Its quarrel must be just, theu. Nature would have put wiugs on David Davis, but it couldn't fiud the small ol hie back. A coroner's jury in Arkanaji found lhataooriMie came to it deih "by huldiug hve aces." - x Mr. Tweed did not dare to yo any further m nis confessions. He waa afraid that he might implicate him seh. . Brown says he'B been so often deceived de-ceived by tbo chicken at his board in g-houee g-houee that ho now calls it tbe mocking bird. Tbe Pittsburgh CooimercHl Ga zetto is a model of candor. It ha ju-tt beaded one of its leading editorials "Desperate Lying." Protestor (describing ancient Greek theatre) "And it bad no roof." -Junior (sure he has caught professor in a miotake "What did they do, sir, wnen it rained ?" . Prolessor (taking eff his glasses and pausing a inomeui) "1'tiey got wet, sir." Webster's dictionary has a very brief description of a ship, hardly any notice ot a brig, and not one Biugle word about a schooner ol beer. Tbe old man tiidn't go 'round witb tbe boys, it seems. "Ants have their slaves," writes a naturalist. Yes, and we know some young men about town who are pretty extensively mortgaged to their "uncles." A. II. Stephens is assuredly a loyal American. Ho eaid the other day: "I would rather be hanged in the United States than live in any other country." An ignorant oil merchant, on being asked how large an advertisement he wautfeO" in a certain newspaper, replied re-plied that they might "put iu about three piuts ot type." "3.iy, conductor, you don't ethop de car; I vant to get out here." Th conductor was another Dutchman like himself, and replied: "Veil, vy you dou't zay sn; 1 can't sohmell id." New England grieves that Bhe has been neglected by Speaker Randall. She has no chairman ol committees in tbe house. New England should corue west and grow up with the country. Bulldozing Barber "Have your hair cut to day,' sir?" Customer "No, Bir." B. B. (while fumbling among the locks) "Very lorjg, very straggling, eir; comes clear down to your coat collar." C. "All right; I'll have tbe collar moved down." End ol tbe colloquy. |