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Show .IOSII BILLINGS TO HIS CORRES-PONDKXTS. CORRES-PONDKXTS. .luiiN. Mattery iz a very powerful stimulant, but its crate strength lays in bein delicately administered. Thare iz sum men who will take it ai they do hasty puddin and milk, just gap and swallow. lloucdt (lattery stans in the same rc-lashuu rc-lashuu tew just prazo that interest duz tew munney. Every man iz entitled tew the interest inter-est on hia munney, and 7 per cent, ov tlattery won't hurt enny man who iz honestly entitled tew the principal. Plattery alwua makes a wize man humble and kerful, but it haz the : same eflek on a phool that a band ov musik haz on a plough hoss tlie fust time he hears it. Amos. itoktors aro not all quakV, yu hav got rongbodhuns about this. JJoktors lawyers, and ministers hav a hard row tew ho, they have tew deal with (lie kredulity, knavery and fears ov the people, three ol' the most diffi-kn!t diffi-kn!t traits id human natur tew handle. 11 I waz a doktor, and understood uii bizztness, I should doktor mi ;a-shtints, ;a-shtints, and let the disease take karc ov itself. More aro k tired this way than enny other. It ain't much trubblc tew doktor sich folks, but to doktor the well ones iz bothersuni. If I waz a lawyer i would quit the biz.incss tho fust good chance i got. if i waz a minister and had tew preach the gospel tew mi people, whozc religion, nine-tenths of them, was the result ov their fears, and who want willing tew giv me but four hundred and u'i'ly dollars a year (half atorepay and the rest after harvest), i should resign mi charge and cuter that field az a missionary: Luther. There iz 2 things iu this world pesky hard to do and suit yurc customers, ono iz keeping distrikt skool, and the other is being a mother-in-law. Enny man or woman who kan keep a distrikt skool and giv general satisfaction satis-faction ain't good for nothing. A good distrikt skoolmaster iz like an undertaker, dreaded bi everyboddy. It takes a smart woman tew be a successful mother-in-law. I don't think, fro in what I kan learn, that this iz a good year for mothers-in-law, i hear a good deal ov komplaint about theiu. Thare iz only one way tew sukcecd in the mother-in-law bizziness, an that iz, don't run alter yurc children, but keep back and let them hunt for yu. (iood mothers-in-law don't liv much nearer than liftecn miles ov their children, chil-dren, and alwus let lho children do the heft ov the visiting. Mark. Yu say yu arc about tew begin life and want to begin right, and yu ask me how to do it. ; A man mite as well undertake tew ' mako money with a toll gate in the center ov a 00 akor lot that want fenced in az tew sueksced in polytics in Ncu York citty without enny grocery. Az for the bizziness yu intend tew follor, enny thing that iz honest is honorable, hon-orable, but i wouldn't bo a horse jockey, for i don't karc how pius a man iz, swopping bosses will make him careless. In reference tew getlin' marrid, i hev got hut one rule for that, which don't vary: "Marry Yung, and marry for luv " This will win seven times out ov ten, and the other three times arc respectable re-spectable blunders tew make. |
