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Show SELECTED. j JOSH BILLINGS RELATE" Wh j EXPERIENCE AM) ALL H h ; KNOWS ABOUT ACR1CILTIK- Al business What L kno about pharmin is kassid little. My buzzim friend. Horace Greeley, hflz rit a book with theabuv Dan.e,anu akbo i haven't bad time to propose it. vet i dua't hesitate to pronounce it bully. i onst took a pbarm on ahares miself. and run her ou lome theory ui lDe ibing figured up thin way: i duo all the work.).. burnished all the seed and man-are, man-are, bad (he ague 9 months out of 12, lor mi share ov the profit, and tht-01 tht-01 her phellow paid the taxes on the pliartn lor his i-hare. By mutual kon-sent kon-sent i quit the pbarm at the end ov the I yi-ar. What i kno about pbarm in ain'i 1 wuth bragging about, and i see it mj duty to state, ior the beoefit ov mj krediiors, thatif'fhey evereipekt m-t;W m-t;W pay 5 ctnts on a dollar, they uausa t Btart me in the theoretikal pbarmin employ. i kno ov menny farmers who are so afflikted with buper&tiabuu thac tbej wuu't plant a single bean ouly in tht-last tht-last quarter ov the monn, and i kno ov there so pregnant with ficience they won't set a gate-post until they have had the ground analized by sum pro-lessor pro-lessor ol' anatomy tew see if the earth haz get the right kind of ingredience lor post hoHea. This is what i call running run-ning science into the ground. What I know about pharmin aim wuih uiuub, enny how, but I under-niok under-niok to brake a kicking h.-iler once. 1 read a treaties on the sul'jeckt, phol-luwed phol-luwed the directions cluss, and got knoked eudwaze in about 5 minutes. theu sot down and thought the thing ivur. I made up mi mind that the phellow who wrote the treatisa waz more in the treaties bizziness than ht-waz ht-waz in the kiking heifer trade. 1 ruuj o the kouklu'ion that what be kuu about uiilkiiig kiking heifers he haH learnt by leaning over the barnyard fence and writi-g the thing up. 1 got up from my reflekshuns btreupthenud, and went f'ir the heifer. I will draw a vail over the languace I used, and the the the things I did, but I went id to win, andwo-d That heifer never bekum a cow. This is one way tew brake a kiking heifer, and after a win baa stud lyed all the books in kreasbun on the subjek, and tried them on, he will p h ul I back on mi plan, and make up his mind, as I did, that a kiking heifer is wuth more for beef than she is for theoretick milk. |