OCR Text |
Show INKL1AGS. I Tho wealth per capita of Illinois is $So5 34. j i Thn Bir Woods of Mitirjcota iuclude j : a rr fiion of S.OOO square miles. ; j The tumi tvlio currird out hia morul I j resolutions did not brioR ihem baok. : Twenty thousand luwlcsfl men go , , armed in IS'cw i'ork, recorder Hackett ; I says, i I ' A worthy hushatid who arrived homo j , lato one night last week, gave nn cx- louse that it was a lato Bpriog, and that j i ho wanted to look after the rye crop. A middle-sized boy, writing a com-1 position on " Kxtremes," remarked that "we should endeavor to avoid extremes. ex-tremes. Kspceially those of wasps and bees." The juvenile f-uieide was ttt Alton, Al-ton, 111., whore a boy of twelve blew his skull to fragments with a shot-gun, merely because "it was dull; nothing going on." Buffalo has un uuibitunate little boy, ten years of ne, who peddles pnpera, supports his mother, and gives twenty-one twenty-one cents to the Grace Meihodiat Sab- baih school. I They lmvo lately introduced iu'io llie, ?t root Inn) pa of London ?irips of look-inp-glaas in the rnoi's. The reflection is mud to throw three times as much light as tho ordinary lamp. A compositor made ihe phra&u "uip-peil "uip-peil in tlie bud" read dipped in tho mud, the oilier day, and when remonstrated remon-strated will), said, ho didn't nee why people wore so particular about a letter or two. Husband "1 hope you have no objection ob-jection to my getting weighed ?" "Certainly "Cer-tainly not. my dear: but why ak the question?" "Only lo see, my love-, if you would allow mo to have my wnijli for once." A Savannah uero died one day last week, but came to life the same evening, even-ing, to the groat indignation of the mourner?. The next morning he died a second time, and in order to avoid jany repetition of the former conire temps, they buried him bclbro dinner. Little Boy "I don't like you, Mr. Brown; my mamma pays you are a a regular sneak." Mamma "Good gracious, James, what can induce you to tell such a atory? I confess to saying, 'What a pity such a noble hearted man as Mr. Brown had turned out such a regular cynic.' " "Tommy, tn son, what are you going go-ing to do with that club?" "Send it to tho editor, of course." "But wbat aro you going to send it to tho editor ifor?" " 'Cause ho says if anybody t will send him a club ho will send them a copy of his paper." The mothor caaio near tainting, but retained oon-J aciousness cnouj-h ton.sk: "But, Tommy, Tom-my, dear, what do you eupposo ho wantB with a club ?" "Well, X don't know," replied tho hopeful urchin, "unless it is to knock down subscribers as don't pay for their paper." In a certain town out wet there had been a very exciting election for the office of-fice of sheriff. Tho successful candidate, candi-date, of course, was very much elated, and at night was for a long time talking talk-ing it over with hia wife as they eat bc-; bc-; foro tho fire previoua to retiring. Meanwhile the youngsters in the trundle trun-dle bed were "all cars," and at length ono tow head was popped up under the inspiration of tho query, "Ma, aro we ! all sheriffs, or only you and pa? "Lio jdown, you little scampi" cried the mother, "only your pa and me." |