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Show PlltTHEll VITIPBIUTIOSS. The dull routine of the House was disturbed upon last Wednesday by the fudden explosion of a mud volcano i bat erupted with great violence, covering cover-ing tbe place with a foul deposit of great depth. It seems that Governor Swann aroused the ire of the Hon. Benjamin Butler, the most patient and amiable of men, by a speech that he published in the Globe, defending the South in general, and that honorable bit of constitutional con-stitutional law, the venerable Garrett Davis, in pariicular. The Hon. Benjamin Ben-jamin had assailed the ancient Garrett in his place in the House, and the oratorical ora-torical Swann responded. This was the situation when a new member from Maryland delivered his maiden speech. All new members making their maiden effort, on the Democratic side, attack Benjamin. This maiden member quoted from Ben-jamiu's Ben-jamiu's speech wherein that statesman referred to old Ossowattomie Brown's body mouldering in the grave, while his irrepressible soul went marching on, and the maiden member intimated that if the Hon. Benjamin would imitate im-itate old John Brown and moulder a little, it would be a good thing for this woiiJ, however disagreeable to the world on the other side o' Jordan. This brought the belligerent Benjamin Benja-min to hi3 feet, and, brushing aside the maiden, he made a direct attack on "that old political prostitute," as he styles tbe oratorical Swann of Maryland. Mary-land. He seemed to be well prepared with his breeches pockets stuffed with extracts from Baltimore papers concerning con-cerning the dignified and oratorical Swann. This editorial record ran back through the political bird's eventful event-ful career to the time when Swann was a Know-Nothing, and crept up back stairs to the light of a dark lantern, and swore terrible oaths to murder all the Catholics of Baltimore and have America governed by Americans, if he died in cold blood for it. The strictures stric-tures of this congressional orator were at that time from the Democratic press ; and then Butler, called the Beast, traced down the political fowl until the Republican press opened on him so that both sides were heard; and taking both sides to be true, the Swann did not appear so lovely an ornithological or-nithological specimen as one could wish. In a word, it appeared a rather dirty bird if the newspapers are to be believed; be-lieved; and we, being journalists, have an abiding faith in tbe newspapers. While this was going on it was comical comi-cal to look at the honorable member being assailed. He twisted, he bounced, bounc-ed, he snorted, and swore. Now, the Hon. Tom Swann is a dignified and rather good-looking old fellow, who labors under the impression that he is a statesman ani an orator. This is a harmless delusion, and his immediate friends and family encourage old Tom in it, and they speak to him about the country being seriously affected by his views. Tom Swann mav have his views. We are not prepared to deny that Thomas is a man of opinions; but, in common with tbe world, we can say we never heard them. Thomas gives bis views in such a confidential manner that no one ever yet was able to hear or understand him. He frequently enters the House armed with a formidable roll of manuscript, manu-script, and, catching the eye of the Speaker, proceeds to read the same to himself with much earnestness, and apparently ap-parently with much satisfaction. Ending End-ing this reading, he makes a graceful bow to the Speaker, and hands his little manuscript over to the Globe. As no one reads reads the Globe, Orator Swann's views are buried forever. On this trying occasion, however, he had no time to prepare his manuscript; he could not prepare for a pose. Here was quick and warm work for you. No oratorical essays for you now ten minutes, about, close quarters and, in the language of the poet, one could cry, "Now, Sir Thomas, hold your own, No lady's arms are roand you thrown." And, to do the solemn, dumb orator justice, he seemed to appreciate the fact that the old hyena was upon him. Butler, called the Beast, had scarcely hinged his centre in the direction of a seat before Swann was up. He shot up, or rather bounced up, with such force that his feet left the floor and came down with a "buck," stiff all over, and, to the astonishment of the House, he spoke out. He spoke distinctly. dis-tinctly. We regret our barren supply of words to express clearly the amazement amaze-ment of the House, over this revolution. revolu-tion. The dumb was speaking. The Swann was singing. Rather a bad sort of sing; but the effort was such that no astonishment would have been expressed express-ed had he dropped and expired at the end of his ten minutes. He roared, he snorted, he gesticulated, and his miraculous mir-aculous voice, expioding in bursts, sounded to Western ears like a high-pressure high-pressure steamer kicking desperately at the lower end of a sand-bar. |