INKLirvii.. Canada is to have a new prison, "exclusively "ex-clusively for ladies." There is no use in telling a seedy man to "go to grass" for grass itself has now gone to seed. Fire is a good servant (sometimes) when it goes out, and a bad master when it has to be put out. Napoleon walks constantly (cable). Pooh ! That's only to make people think he is still on his feet. Smith fears that the Baltimore oys-termen oys-termen are not fair in their dealings they do so much "packing." Some Western towns are employing female clergymen in self-defence, as they never run away with the girls in the congregation. An Indiana paper boasts of a jury in its town that weighed 2,833 pounds. A New York paper remarks that it has seen several juries of which nearly all the members were Two-tons. Some crusty wiseacie says: "A woman is like unto tar ; melt her, and she will take any form you pleaie. And if she don't please, ten to one she will take the form of Tartar. But it's very seldom that she don't please somebody or ther." . A Scotchman who had put up at an inn was asked in the morning how he had slept. "Ah, mon," replied Donald, Don-ald, "nae vera weel, either ; but I was rnucklfi better off than the bugs, for de'il a one o' them closed an e'e the hale nichu" ' The 'other day, in Buffalo, an excited ex-cited individual with a carpet bag in ene hand and an umbrella in the other, and shawl hanging over his arm, accosted ac-costed one of the street gamin with the question, "Say, bub, . which is the quickest way for me to get to the Erie Kailroad depot? "Run!" was the laconic response. . , ."Well, David," said a poor but worthy citizen to one of the State Street, Boston, magnates, "the world has prospered with you, and they say you are immensely rich." "Well," replied David, "perhaps it is true, but we cannot take our gold with us when we go." "it would melt if you did," was the quick retort. A gentle Quaker had two hordes, a very good and a very poor one. When seen riding the latter, it turned out that his better half had taken the good one. "What '." said a sneering old bachelor, "how comes it that you let your wife ride the better horse?" The only reply was : "Friend, when thee be married thee'll know." Prof. S., of Hartford, the other day felt uncomfortably stiff and sore caught cold, perhaps. lie lay down on a lounge and requested his friend W. to knead and rub him after the movement cure style. W. gently heat him on the chest. "How hollow it sounds," said K., who was looking on. "That's nothing," said W., "wait till I get to his head."