| Show jokes HIS PROPOSAL OF MARRIAGE mr Spud long began the youth hanging his hat bat on the back ot of tho chair 1 I will vill occupy only a few moments of your time I 1 have como come to ask you for your daughter I 1 young man said the elderly banker do you yes yea sir I 1 fully realize that she has been tenderly nurtured and that she la Is very dear to you also that her homo home la Is ono one in which ehe has haa been surrounded by every luxury but she ehe is willing to leave it can you no sir I 1 cant quite maintain her in the stylo style to which sho she has boon been accustomed cus tomed but I 1 have a good salary and I 1 am ready to chanco chance tt it so bo Is she will you yes sar I 1 will keep my life insured for a sum to provide for or her it I 1 should be taken away would you no air I 1 would not expect to live with the family I 1 am able to buy and furnish a modest home for her young man said mr Spud long looking at hla his watch 1 I rather like your style you can have her good morning sir exchange honesty and matrimony I 1 was astonished to observe that Dlo diogenes genes passed by all the married men without subjecting them to any scrutiny whatever and my perplexity must havo have apI appeared in my face for it was not long until the famous philosopher was wag pleased to remarks remark of course theres no possibility of him whom I 1 seek being married ile he would malo make a woman fornan mad the very first time lie he went to see sea lier her lite life MAKING IT ALL RIGHT I 1 C 14 innkeeper to cook zenzi cut the meat thinner the customers are complaining pla ining that the mea meat t la Is tough meg bleg ge emendorfer een dorfer dofer beaetter Bla etter something to boast about 1 I come coma of an old theatrical family boasted the tragedian my father played hamlet for 30 years nothing replied the comedian my grandmother played little eva in toms cabin tor for more than 40 consecutive seasons chicago record ife herald degrees of importance A womans comans postscript is usually the most important part of her letter said the man who thinks he knows human nature yes answered miss cayenne and what she thought and write is usually oven even more important than the postscript washington star POOR JOHN your husband seems such a regular man only in his breathing my dear A startling proposition manager I 1 hear your ideas are original applicant they the aro are very original sir manager can you give me a sample applicant I 1 can sir mr my ideas are worth paying pitying for baltimore american A burst of speed street car conductor to motorman 1 I wonder what that man la Is running so hard for motorman looking back bebby the tool fool wants ter git on I 1 must put on more speed new york weekly undoubtedly there is one thing which changes the color ot of yellow journalism what is IB that it gets geta read baltimore american NOT TO DE BE RELIED UPON I 1 why la Is an automobile like a woman naked asked tho the comedian boarder as aa lie peppered a hard boiled egg tho the cynical bachelor was thoughtful Do because cause it la is so eiven expensive sivo good but not the right answer ali ah now I 1 have it because it limi lias wheels uncomplimentary but not correct because it to Is always running people down unkind but away off I 1 well I 1 give it up why I 1 Is s an automobile tomo to bilo like a woman because it needs every attention and after you give tt it every attention it la Is liable to blow you up without a minutes notice Cli chicago leago dally daily news newa MORAL SUASION en N I 1 I 1 k 1 41 r does your husband want a job mrs airs brown no but if youve got one for him ill make him take it A professional tribute caesar was a voluminous writer as well as a warrior and statesman remarked the student yes answered mr St ormIngton barnes 1 I have always admired caesar going on the principle that all the worlds a stage lie he decided to bo be the whole show including the press agent washington star A welcome relief well im glad georgia and alabama and the rest of those southern states have gone dry why freyou are you an advocate 0 of f temperance not exactly but after this there willbe will be no reason to mix maluo maine up with all the prohibition jokes chicago re cord he herald i PRETTY OBVIOUS 1 1 4 I 1 1 6 fl ow I 1 4 4 1 I ZA Z I 1 F an a N hullo attwood altwood another grave ehl eh I 1 whoa that tor for dunno sir mr its for somebody homebody who dont live in this parish good chance to rubber tommy billy do you think dero dere are any fairies dese days billy I 1 dont know but it dere aro are what would be your wish tommy well if I 1 was stand ln outside do de baseball grounds and der want no knothole id wish a fairy would come coma along an give me a like a giraffo giraffe chicago dally daily news extraordinary why do you say mrs green Is an extraordinary woman because she admits that a merry widow hat look well on her and for that reason wont buy one that prove anything except that her husband wont give her the money to buy it hard to tell what Is the best way to cure a cold it all depends if you have a cold yourself there any best way if sonic some one else has it theres there s a million DIFFERENT Q they are evidently man and wife no quite the contrary woman and husband husban d chicago journal Jou resl |
