Show HUMOR OF THE DAY Critic Hero you have left the heroine with her face buried in her handkerchief Playright Yes CriticAre you going to leave it there or have it exhumed Detroit Tribune SampsonHow is your wife progressing toward emancipation Thompson pretty well but I noticed no-ticed the other day thatshe still decorates decor-ates the cigar boxes with pink ribbons Cincinnati Enquirer Youre not going to publish everything I say to you said Senator Sorghum anxiously No replied the reporter I wouldnt think of It If I were to let some of that grammarless English get into the paper Id lose my position before sunset tomorrow tomor-row Detroit Free Press JudgeDid he call you an idiot ComplainantWell not in so many words he said my brains would fit in a Coney Island beer glass Brooklyn Eagle Pawson hear that your grandfather was hanged Chump is it true Chump reflectively Well er I dont remember him ever saying anything about it London TidBits A negro preacher addressed his flock with great earnestness on the subject of Miracles as follows My beloved friends de greatest of all miracles was bout de loaves and fishes Dey was 5000 I loaves and 2000 fishes and de twelve pos tles had to eat em all De miracle is dey didnt bustAtlanta Constitution What Is the greatest difficulty you encounter en-counter in a journey fo the arctic regions re-gions asked the Inquisitive man Getting back home was the prompt reply of the explorer Washington Star Harry That Miss Flight was pleasant enough to me the day I took her out for a drive but I met her yesterday and she cut me dead TomThats all right She doesnt believe be-lieve In vivisection you knowBoston Transcript Ah Shattered dream He poured more arnica on his aching body I asked for a heart He sighed deeply But I got a club Then through the long hours of the night he sorrowed for the hasty action of old Moneybags had lost him her diamonds dia-monds New York World Masher Ah my dear lady speak the word that will make me the happiest of mortals Wealthy Heiress Money Sontags Plau derer Nan Kittle I dont hear you talk about your handsome employer any more KittieI dont like him so well The fact is he hurt my feeling dreadfully He told me he was married Louisville Cour ierJournal T |