Show THE HORSE AUCTIONEER In an Emergency Ho li Called In to Soil u Piano The regular auctioneer was ill and into in-to emergency tho auctioneer from the hose stables across the street consented to act in his place A big crowd of people peo-ple filled tho room to bid on a lot of household goods that had been advertised adver-tised for sale A piano was the first thing offered Now ladies and gents said the horse auctioneer as he mounted the block I wish to call yer attention to dis magnificent magnifi-cent pianerfortc I have its pedigree the here which will bo furnished to purchaser an ho will be surprised at what ho has bought I would call yer particular attention to its colora beautiful beau-tiful mahogany bay one of the most beautiful and desirable colors dat kin be selected Dis pianer hasnt got a spot or blemish It is warranted to work double dou-ble or single Examine closely for ringbone spavin or quarter crack Will somo one in tho audience please step to do front and test its wind A young man who combed his hair pompadour and had a wild look in his eyes elbowed through the crowd and taking a seat on the stool ran his lingers over the keys then through his pompadour pompa-dour hitched tho stool a little closer found one of tho pedals and began to thump out a tune What do you think of dat lick ladies an gents said the auctioneer as he Iqotfcd l triumphantly around the room Ever sep anyting purtur den dat in yer lives Never a skip or a break Dat gaits good fer 220 anywhere Now what am I bid Remember whoever buys dis pianer buys a pedigree a yard long The ladies in the crowd looked at the auctioneer insome wonderment and taking tak-ing this for silent admiration lie directed his remarks to them directly Now ladies heres a pianer dat I kin recommend to yer on de dead square Dis is single foot instrument datdoesn shy or scare at do cars Jest as easy asa as-a rockin chair Gentle a a lamb Doesnt kick or bite Will do gent let ergo er-go round onco more for de benefit of de ladies Tile young man on the stool let ergo again this time pounding out Where Is Wandering Boy Tonight and sev err ther things of equal artistic merit Now ladies and said tho gents auctioneer tioneer when the young man paused for breath dats a performance dat speaks for itself Remember dis pianer i jest off of grass Hasnt been handled for I six months What am I bid But there was no bid I The ladies went out of the room by twos threes and fours and left only the men to enliven the occasion by calling out Let er go once under the saddle etcNow York World |