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Show By NORMAN VINCENT PEALE AND RUTH STAFFORD STAF-FORD PEALE Q. Is there any way to teach a man to be considerate? I tried giving and loving (for 10 years). It made my husband pompous. I tried indifference. He didn't notice it. Then I tried hammering home the facts with fury. This worked, but it is exhausting, and the results didn't last long. RECENTLY at a gala annual an-nual dinner dance, for which I always have a new dress, my husband danced with everyone else and had only one duty dance with me. Much of the time I found myself sitting alone or with a nondancing couple. My husband hus-band was the life of the party He cannot understand when I tell him how miserable I was. I cannot get him to admit ad-mit that he did anything wrong. In his way, I know he loves me, but he has outmoded outmod-ed ideas about men in their relationship to women. I WANT love and beauty and cherishing and companionship com-panionship in the home-as an example to the children. Instead, In-stead, they see too often a stony-faced mother and a father, perplexed, who says: "What's wrong, darling?" and a mother who doesn't answer-for how can you . Ml . - repeat over and over and still not get to first base? It's getting worse. Recently in a moment of anger I threw a footstool at him. A. OF course your husband's hus-band's thoughtlessness is to be regretted. There is no excuse ex-cuse for such neglect. One might call it downright bad manners. A man should treat his wife with courtesy, if not with gallantry. At the least he should be thoughtful. However, the asperity of your words and your obvious impatience might indicate that you may be more difficult dif-ficult than you realize. If you will cultivate a more impe-turbable impe-turbable spirit, plus the philosophical ability to take things as they come, it can make you happier, perhaps even more lovable. IT IS an important thing to leam in all human relations, marriage included, to accept people as they are. Don't rail against your husband, or throw things at him. Try loving him for what he is. When he senses that you are inwardly relaxed, he may in time become more understanding. under-standing. You will be less frustrated, and perhaps at the next dance you will not be left sitting on the sidelines. Q. I AM a girl only 12, but I have a question. When my father hollers at my brother for nothing and sends him to bed, I get so mad because the hollering isn't fair. My father usually is very kind, but I don't know what to do when he isn't. I just get burned up and I hate him. This is very important. It happens every month. A. THIS situation gives you a chance to help your father. . It seems that about once a month your brother irritates your father, which, incidentally, inciden-tally, isn't too bad an average. But instead of letting let-ting things reach the anger point, see if you cannot keep your brother from annoying your father. If an explosion seems to be building up, be extra nice to your father; he probably regrets getting upset as much as you do. If it does happen, wait a day or two and then tell your father how his outbursts affect you. Then together you have a little strategy session about how to handle it better the next time. YOUR partnership with your father can keep things under control. Never underestimate under-estimate how much a 12-year-old girl can help her parents, particularly her father, who can be handled better by a little daughter than about anyone else. O. I am Jewish, married to a Lutheran. I don't want to be converted, but would like to understand basic points of Christianity and find a common com-mon ground where we can meet in our worship. Can you help us? A. YOUR solution, it seems, is to get beyond the forms and doctrines of your respective faiths and arrive at the fundamental fun-damental reason for religion-God. Make a list of your unities rather than your differences-you both believe in God, in goodness, in spirituality, spiri-tuality, in love, in helping others, in mutual respect. Leam to be together on the higher level of spiritual experience rather than trying to find unity in worship. That will flow naturally into a deep God-centered fellowship. |
