Show n + H H SOTTOYtiCB Now THAT AttorneyGeneral Brewster Ida decided that pig is not acow that a school meeting called for levying a tax is not an election by all means let xis have more of these problems submitted sub-mitted to our TwentyFive Thousand Dollar Commission without whose invaluable services as middlemen while the United States Treasury would be annually that much better off the world of metaphysics would suffer untold loss We suggest fortheir I seat mental strain It Is a Tribune editor an American gentleman 1 I A LADY who was among the first to retire from Thursday nights meeting suggests The Young Mens Mobocratic Club as a more fitting title than the present one VF HD thought the health the city was inpretty fair condition until the meeting Thursday night The number of members of the young Democracy S who were absent sitting up with sick friends was little short of appalling THB YOUNG DEMOCEXTIC CLUB of Utah held a debate preliminary to its Thursday S Thurs-day night meeting wherein the question of eliminating one or two objectionable planks in the platform vsas considered II in other words whether a mn to become be-come a Democrat must cast off his I Mormonism In that debate Mr George l A Meears used the following expression expres-sion Gentlemen we are standing today S to-day with one foo upon the verge of success and with tho other upon the I verge of the grave The step we take upon this question will decide our future for us There never was a truer remark than the above Another equally true was that made by another S member of the club since the meeting The step the club decided on taking was the step into the grave I HAVE read somewhere of some one or other who called a vast assemblage p together for the purpose of seeing him I commit the act of selfdestructiona sort of fern de se or hari kari with a boom The action of the young Democratic Demo-cratic club on Thursday night was a forcible reminder of this circumstance i Ou Joe BARKER the gunsmith was j the gentleman who arose in the par i quette the other night and called Mr i Alfales Young to oderand who was so unceremoniously hooted down by the i assembled Democrats Joe was encountered en look on his face and a book of Parliamentary Parlia-mentary rules under his arm The talk about the exclusiveness of the I Mormons said he but I have yet to I fF see anything like the exclusiveness of that theatre meeting I had my Parliamentary Par-liamentary rules in my hand and 1 should have been recognized by the chairman I called Mr Young to order and I had a right to does not the rule say that any speaker who makes any reference slightingly to the religious 1 mlieCol outoLordeEand may be called to order by any one in the assemblage Of course it does and that was my point of order TUB FOLLOWING dialogue or something i someth-ing like it occurred between Major t Sharp and Mr Alfales Young at the first meetuigof thetwo after Thursdays I event It was overheard by a gentleman who vouces for its accuracy f 1 Well Major said Mr Young a What did von think of the meeting t I thought your speech was admirable j admir-able was the Mayor s response I Well Im glad it struck you that i viy aid Mr Young greatly pleased i f Yes said the Mayor as a funeral 1 1 f sermon it was unequaled by anything I I ever heard in my life The delicacy if D neatness and dispatch with which you n wound up tho career of the Young 1 J II l Mens Democratic Club of Utah must I tamp you as ono of the greatest deathbed f f death-bed orators the Territory has yet pro l II duck St A GROUP of wandering Democrats I looking somewhat distrait and headed I ty H J Faust waSjgncountered after IP II 1 Thursday nights meeting roaming aimlessly about thestreets A policeman police-man asked them whom they were inS in-S J I l Search of The chairman of the r Republican i central committee was they the-y yes pohse We have ° always labored t S tinder the impression that we were i I i Democrats and have only just foundS found-S 1 1 out our mistake 1 if I DIFFZBAS may from some of Mr R I r Rawlins views noone can for moment t I hesitate in according him the position oft i 3 of-t first and foremost among the orators Utah has yet produced Many portions of his speech the other night it would J t not have shamed the eloquence of tl Sheridan of Burke to have fathered j i and the reference to Utah alone musts must-s stand as one of the loftiest and most beautiful of the conceptions of speech I I I S THAT THE march of improvement and I 51 i progress is not always appreciated was i I I recently evinced by a dealer in the 1 I suburbs not many miles from Salt Lake j j he had had some dealings with ani lit I eastern house who sent him a business I j etter written with the type writer now iO generally in use in large firms The It dealers wife entered the room and found 1 i him in a towering passion with the let I oft i I ter in his hand p Whats the matter she inquired j anxiously Look at the dd fools insulting me 1 he exclaimed rapping the letter I 55 violently Do they think that I cant y r read writin that they have to go and I < have my letters printed 1 J I I THE CRUELEST stab ever given by the l Tribune in the rear of a good mans I It 1 reputation is not to be compared to the A I f j i fulsome pouring out of its poisonous I flattery over the defenceless head of Mr Alfales Young in Saturdays editorial entitled A Voice for Young Utah j 1 S Anyone who may have felt momentarily p momentar-ily annoyed at the illnatured snarls of n I I this bidding sand lot orator at Thursday I Thurs-day nights Democratic meeting fi cannot in view of the retribution that J I y + has overtaken him feel for him now f anything but the profoundest pity Nothing his enemies if he has any mi htsay or do would hurt him a tmUi as an article of that char or fom such a characterless source 55 I L Strange too that that paper should sweet 1 have had so many din thingshad say ofny AlfaleB in at view of his savage sidethrust Governor Murray the Tribunes quondam quon-dam darling to say one word of whom that did not smack of adulation was wont to cause all the bristles on the hogs back to raise at once It may be however that the Tribune is becoming aware of what sensible people have known foryears that the Tribunes goodwill good-will is more to be dreaded than its antipathy and it has taken this underhanded under-handed method of wreaking a fourfold four-fold vengeance on the head of Elis latest assailant Should the reverse be true and the Tribune fellows are still laboring under the moral obliquity which causes them to think they are doing a man a good turn by speaking well of him then the fate of poor Murray whom in the days of his despair they ignore quite as completely com-pletely as they pampered and praised him in the season of his popularit hould bean be-an effectual and timely warning to all who like Alfales himself may be aspir vnts for antiMormon honors Surely Mr Young who is reputedly well rend has not overcooked that little tale of JEsops regarding the cat tne monkey and the roasting chestnuts |