Show OUR FRENCH LETTER Tagin gArit + ith t fie nsus Faots C and 3ancits = f t 11 J r21 111 PA It Is ec 11531 Editors Herald Theebu51iciB r uilty of tliesin P of counting peop l sand the act causes more anxiety the virtuous and vicious alike than the voting of supplemental credits for Tunisia or the T casuistical debate about If Gambetta being chief of the executive execu-tive and Mt Gravy chief of the state The gravamen of the anxiety anx-iety resides in the fact that citizens have to tabulate a portion of their autobiography then hand it to Cerberus the generic name of house porter who will read mark learn and gossip about it as familiarly as if the subject were only a postal card or a tax summons Not a few would prefer the Roman plan ef appearing i I ap-pearing before a censor in his curule chair and while supplying details swear to their accuracy The republic re-public however like the Friends observes the injunction to swear not at all There are couples liv jng together independent of the au ihorization of church or state they have children whose parentage is an enigma With the Latins single women and orphans were registered I on a separate list and never were included i in-cluded in the general population balance A lady who has positively become fresher looking since the last census is she justified jus-tified in docking one lustre ray off natures addition V A dear creature crea-ture who passes as a widow and has I one baby but who has never been married must she destroy the charm Dy writing herself down demoiselle Unlike bigamy it is not a hanging offense to supply incomplete information in-formation to a census clerk happily Why should ladies be punished for indulging in romantic news and journalists be let off scot free Equality is a republican virtue and gallantry ought to imitate charity by covering a multitude of sins Often in a court of law a judges quartshape hat has been observed to involuntarily stand bolt upright when a lady replies to her age but the annals of the bench never record an instance where a judge followed with the observation Madame remember re-member you are on your oath The Figaro which claims to be the first journal in Fianca indulg ing in a remarkable guess at truth that columns were becoming as uninteresting as a charity sermon or a slashing article in a quarterly offered a prize of 500 francs for a three column contribution on any subject only to be outside of abstract ab-stract politics pure literature or firstclass rhetoric Nearly 800 manuscripts man-uscripts were received A good many of the articles were written on wrapping paper usedup grocery I bags and bearing numerous inner and outer circles of pint measures and tumblers As a sign of the times the grand majority of the essays were devoted to criminal and phonographic subjects The tale elected unanimously is a namby pamby loves of the angels affair where a young man quarrels with his grisette add they neTerm lt till both are in the sear and yellow leaf he an academician and she the granny of an artisan family pia transit gloria The truth is public taste in France as in other countries coun-tries perhaps leans to moneymaking money-making luxurious comforts amusements amuse-ments of the forum character on gala days sensational stories not longer than a telegram where the success of virtue or the triumph of villainy creates no other interest than as works of art All else is i leather and prinello But I forget Donato who contributes con-tributes to our panem et circenses avidities He possesses a one panoramic pan-oramic power of attraction He is a magnetizer an old matter under anew a-new form Hitherto Professor Charcot had the monopoly of imposing impos-ing his will on the ca aitptic the hysteric and the hypnuti it I modern mod-ern science coins as many m mss as the scholastics of the middle ages Donato aims to popularize the biological bio-logical phenomena of Charcot on the inmates of Saltpetriere lunatc asylum only the professors auditors audi-tors do not laugh and their number is i restrained Donato makes science amusing and more mouths are opened by broad grins than one He has Jio connection con-nection he asserts with such houses over the way as the consol sonists of St Kiedard Balsamo or Cagliostro He selects from among the audience the fastest gommeux or any young men from the country and makes them as obedient to his will as Ariel Prospero Tb y avow turnips to b3 peaches moons green cheese and freezing point to be close neigubor to boiling water Thus man comes up to wjiat woman is said to bea contradiction Mile Lucile is the girl of the period Vnfaco pice di lute Donato takes her hair pin of respectable dagger size plungesit into her arm and she no more budges than a martyr mar-tyr in his shroud A concert follows fol-lows where tin kettles and tom toms discourse excellent music she avows as Donate tells her it is an overture of Gounods till a son of harmony exclaims Vive Wagner JSprinita a la musical If girls have St Catherine to fete the boys have St Nicholas to watch over them Tall and austere as that good man is represented to be he yet is full of the milk of human kindness but limits its exercise to Gracchi under six years of age by leaving toys at midnight beside their cradles when the occupants are in a sleep as profound as that in which Adam was plunged when a memorable operation was performed on him For the momentthenhouse hold music is the order of the day t I r r I 1 1 i i > f fl fj t k nurseries rebound with Kroumlr trumpets Tunisian kettledrums Piedmontese pipes and Yankee flutes t There arerabbit rummers that tieat every variety r1 ofw dead and living marches and original XJuristy minstrels with banjo and I Castanet that grandmothers boast they can hear without the aid of un acoustic cane and by which babies j are quieted to a one lung roaring power The Gambetta cabinet is keeping the even tenor of its way old maids even commence to think there may1 b ea relish of salvation after all about it The ministers are o cued cu-ed simply with business and turn a deaf ear to Teazleiem If there le no doing as politicians out of place say with Gambetta there is certainly cer-tainly no doing without him He has cut the wings and claws of the radicals by showing up the absurdity absurd-ity of their whole hog or none pro gramme he is even deferential to the monarchists as every right minded person ought to be in presence pres-ence of the departed The seventy five senators on whom a practical joke was played to be elected for life are to be extirpated in spring at the flower of their age Senator Jules Simon would be more logical in bringing an action against the state for breach of promise than calling those who differ from him imbeciles and cowards The terrible Paul Bert has had no cold bishop as yet served on his sideboard side-board Matters will jog along till the new session next January and I republicans will exhibit how they dwell in unity by splitting into infiniments petits The end of the year is the harvest season of the not to be forgotten classes of both high and low degree At this epoch French history never records the outbreaks of revolutions or the bursting of cabinets Had apoleon III made his coup d etat on the 31st instead of the 2d of ircember and so enabled uncheeriul Divers 10 escape the seasons blackmailing even Victor Hugo might extenuate the quitting de la legality puur reut rer daus la droit Hitherto only young and old women were cut up the better t j be made away with At Marseilles an Italian mother converted her infant in-fant into mincemeat threw the fragments into a well and attempted suicide when they were brought up in a bucket A year ago a shop keeper aged 50 married a pretty girl of 17 lately she went to see her parents at Versailles for three days seventeen elapsed but no return the Seine was dragged the morgue watched and the police set on foot when the husband reentering his shop found the lost one smiling around nearly the first thing he attempted was to kill her he disbelieved her story that missing miss-ing a train she had to sleep in a hotel was there attacked with a fit and lay in a trance for seventeen days On rousing from her Rip Van Winkle slumber she was astonished to find among other changesa new ministry On Sunday evening last at dusk a man was run over and his wooden leg crushed he hobbled to a wall when a good Samaritan put him in a cab and had him driven to the Pitie Hospital At once admitted admit-ted to the accident ward the assistant assist-ant surgeon ordered his expulsion and had him carried on a stretcher to a turners At a banquet at Charenton recently re-cently the chairman on rising to propose the day we celebrate had hardly arrived at the assurance that he was unaccustomed to public speakingthough he is an eloquent burning and shining light in the clubsthan he experienced the fate of Ananias and his lady M Jourdan spoke pro e all his life without knowing it According to a learned Theban it seems we are two inches tiller in the morning than when going to bed the fatigue of the day diminishes stature by compressing the articulations articu-lations Some conscripts it fceems to escape being converted into food for powder have the power to deceive de-ceive the very elect of the army by reducing their height This consists by not going to bed for three nights iIi succession carrying heavy burdens 01 the head and shoulders and going in extensively for nips of cognac The commercial college which s just been inaugurated under the auspices of the Paris Chamber of Commerce is a splendid establishment establish-ment it is intended for merchants sons it has sixty pupils of whom forty are graduates ef tine university Foreigners are admitted Fees 3000 fr per annum Sarah Bernhardt asserts she is not a Jewess but Catholic Napoleon I was a Mussulman It has leaked out that one of the leading dentists of PariF was originally origin-ally an old do man perhaps to be revenged on the Christians for tricks playeu on his ancestors he took also to drawing more or less painless A wine merchant sends a circular to every ladys husband after her confinement extolling his accouchement accouche-ment brand a midwife carrying a little stranger is the trade mark Neighboring lodgers on the same flat lend one another their wheeling stoves when visitors are expected other tconomy by connecting their saloon with a public ball room ladies can receivE telephonically music at next to first cost In a letter a mend stated I write under the rmpire of great weariness his correspondent in reply added I write under the republique of ennuiso gave an Oliver Tit for tat You will said one young lady to another both occupied embroidering em-broidering slippers for their papas never finish in time But do not forget my I dear your papa ha only one leg D |