Show THE MODERN HAT RACK J No candid man rail exatn the modern hat rack vrithoat ieeli IK that it is inexplicable on the theory Lf its demoniacal origin Indeed t bu man mind is so constituted tbitit instinctively relers all the cnnt7AIl ces ostensibly intended for holding hats to the devil and moat of us would confess a belief that the devil nwkea hatracks did we not fear the derision of eo called philosophers is it ua aonable to suppose that any human bt > ing seriously deaiguKl for t i good purpose the combiuuti cl br > ioda which ie to be Been nb e Un tublea ire csrtaiu rctauraai C usibly Fhe H rod are intended tr the tem jofdry storage of hats but when a msD tried to put his out on a brass r d rack it instantly tall itawn again am oiogB wiLe it wo other bate and dU 01 newspapers tae former of which upset the carter while the Utter iiliuxe it empttlve over the butter and the betfetebk Nohiog but the theory of the active influence of evil spirits can account for this style of aatrack end yet it is really an ingenious inge-nious malignity to the common hat raok of private houses This diabolical contrivance is always placed in the dark corner of the hall a fact which shows that evil spirits are concerned not merely in manufacturing manu-facturing but in placing it The consequence is that the visitor gropes for it and BO doing infallibly knocks down the overcoats and hats which are already hung upon it When he is able to perceive it with bis eyes be can find no satisfactory peg The malicious manufacturer never fails to make tbe pegs so abort that to induce the bat to balance itself upon one ot them is a task requiring both time and dexterity Not content with this the manufacturer places the peg so close together that it is impcsible for adjoining pegs to support each its own hat at the same time Ibe ordinary or-dinary visitor learns this truth only by sad experience He persists in trying try-ing to hang his bat on the peg nest to that which beard the hat of tIlt head of the house and it is only after ho knocked the original hat don with his own hat and then knocked his own hat down by trying to restore the other to its original place that be perceives the fell purpose of the maker of hatiacka Only the ingenuity of ck noi s could have combined un umbrella stand with a hatrack The object of this unholy combination isooviuusiy to tempt the visitor to deoait hiy overcoat on the protruding bandies of brlf a dczen umbrellas and canes The prudent man rarely attempts tj hang hia overcoat on a peg for be knows that in so doing be will knockdown I knock-down all the hats Moreover its is the practice of the satanic manufacturer manufac-turer to put in the pegs so lowely that the weight of Jin overcoat when put on any one of them will pull it out He therefore folds his overcoat up and lays it gently on the umbrella handleD Instantly these delusive supports give way A rattling avalanche ava-lanche of canes and umbrellas strikes on the marble floor and the betrayed overcoat gartbera to itself all tbe available avail-able dirt that has accumulated in tbe bottom of the umbrella stand while the startled and indignant visitor breaks into language whioh might well fill listening demons with fiendish fiend-ish joy So notorious baa the character char-acter of the combined uatrack and umbrella stand hecome that wise men never meddle with it but uniformly place their folded overcoats over-coats on the floor in a corner of the hall and put their hats on their overcoat over-coat J coatNow Now if we attempt to account for the hatrack on any theory which excludes the supernatural we make a failure It 13 in vain for us to ask ourselves why men should make an article of furniture that can accomplish accom-plish no conceivable end except the exasperation of mankind The me ment we assume that hatracks are the work of evil spirits they become coherent and intelligible Is it not then a pity that the abolition of faith in evil spirits leaves us without any method of accounting for the existence of hatracks and compels us to say that we do not know and cannot conceive for what purpose they are ffiadeiV Y 1 Times |