| Show FEMININE FANCIES A Number of Notes Concerning Concern-ing the Sex Glove fighting is called manly sport probably because women do tbeir fighting without glove A Philadelphia organ grinder has sued a woman for libel In a moment mo-ment of exasperation she called his poor little unoffandieg monkey a dude A Maine girl since her return from the academy has shingled the barn the old mans hair anj the seat of her little brothers trousers Some young fellow ought to pay her board celt is now settled says an exchange ex-change that a newly married lacy ceases to be a bride and simply becomes be-comes a wife when she has sewed a button on her husbands olothe It is this fact that makes us such happy people The country is lull of brides Mrs Flirtabout has learned to take things philosophioally When she wan told of a letter full of love that her recreant spouse had written to a strange fair one she Raid C Bui l he used to write just such letters to me before we were married He doesnt care anything about her They sit no more in the parlor where They st by the slowng grate But thv stand and talk in the etsrlight fair As they swing on the old front gate And iha old man weeps and his bitter tears firing never a balm to his soul It will cost him more for gates he fears Than is did last month for coal A Bismarck yooog man told an old maid she was ha matchless woman and she smiled eo sweetly over the compliment that her mouth ptretched to its utmost capacity After he had gone it oocorredfjto her that there was another meaning to toe expression and the next time that young man call there wili be asickeningtradgedy tj record At a recent dinner given in Paris a number r f poets present wrote sonnets son-nets upon the fans of the ladies That is an excellent idea If such a scheme coold only be worked upon in this country to induce the average poets I to put his verses on ladies fans instead of bothering the editor it would be a blessing that would cauee even the angels to send up a glad shout of thanksgiving A gentleman in Richmond Va hab a servant named Joe One morning morn-ing he lay in bed till 9 oclock but BO Joe and no fire The impossibility impossibili-ty of shaving with water thirty degrees de-grees below freezingpoint brought imprecations on the tardy domestics head when the door opened and Aunt Polly leisurely began to light the fireWhere Where in thunder the historian is nothing if he is not accurate is that son of yours Ive been waiting two blessed hours J Now Marse Tray you must cuse JoeH said his mother to her most conciliating tonesyou must really cure Joe dis morninJoe deadJ7 Editors Drawer in Harpera TOMBOYS Can girls help being tomboys when Even in names they copy menJ Fair Josephena smokes cigarettes And fires stones and whistles Sweet Georgieanna often heta And when she looses bristles Prim Earrj et doth loudly bang And always makes n bustle Gay Fredeiika uses slang And likewise too her muscle Bright Willhemina tries to Dun And chews sweet gum to back her Matt itda climeth trees for fun And shoots a firecracker Paulene laks politics with heat And voting she desires And Phil lis has a muatipha sweat Which all but she admire Miss Elna weirs her brothers hat And shouts with pleasure hearty And once sha wore his trousers at A maiquersding party But Henry etta fairest dove Acquires the confection AS Tomboy for she maketh love And therefore is perfection QUEEN VICTORIAS BOOK April 1 Brown came in this morning I morn-ing with a large placard on his back which bore the initala N G When I called bis attention to it he was real angry and said he supposed it was done by toe prime minister or somebody some-body I shall ask Mr Gladstone about it April 10I sent for Brown I and read him thia journal for a year He sat with eyes closed nodding his head whenever I came to a favorite passage He then said he did not think any distinguished woman had even written anything like it I chided Brown for flattery but he assured ms it was honest truth I will read it to Mr Gladstone April 12Mr Gladstone called I read it to him April 15Beatrice and I went out for a walk Brown accompanied accom-panied us We walked up a hill and then we walked down May 7Mr Tennyson called Beatrice showed him the cat and I suggested the poem Mr Tennyson changed the subject I read him some of my journal May 8Brown saya Mr Tennyson is quite ill I wanted to read my journal to Brown but he said it was very enervating for an author to read her own work I find this literary life indeed wearisome and I sometimes wonder how Mr Tennyson stands it It killed poor Mr Disraeli I aappoae it will kill me too come dBYLNew York Lfe |
