Show I I CAPT BILLS TRIUMPH Bets a Plug of Tobacco With an Un Unbeliever Unbeliever believer and Comes Out Winner Newark News When a man gets to the place in life where he washes tho top of his head bead every time he washes his face he has II a right to be consIdered so sophisticated sophisticated said Captain Bill But It dont necessarily follow that he can set setup setup up a claim to infallibility and convince the scientists I 1 had bad II a passenger down from Pater Paterson Paterson son last week who was as bald as a pie pumpkin While I was lying to In the lee of n a factory In that seaport one day letting Missouri Nan her noon loon ration of oats this man hove In sight We spoke to one another friendly and he sat down on the towpath and began to tell me what all he believe In lIe He believe In the Bible or Bill Taft or matrimony or the Supreme court or the Republican party or hell or Cook Or Gompers or evolution There a worthy th thing ng I could mention that he took ant an stock In He even een have faith in advertising He was the champion cynic Of the ages and WIse as all Harvard I says to the man when wIlen Missouri Nan had llad satisfied the Inner mule and I was tugging at her hawser to be traveling travel travelIng Ing along alom Get aboard abard says I and cruise a piece with me and Ill bet a plug of tobacco that I can think up something you do believe In Ill bet you cant says he e how I got my passenger It Was a week ago when we joined company and he has been eating out of my locker Evel vet since Well Veil sir you never sighted such a complete infidel In nil all your earthly vo voy voyaging aging He had a notion that the whole universe was a confidence game gamo rigged up for his especial harm He had no us use for anything good under the sun for reformers for doctors or lawyers or newspaper men or education or vaccination atlon or friendship or churches or any anything anything thing that In them Is IsYou isYou You cant fool me he said at supper In tt the cabin one night I been revolving around this planet years for Of nothing Is that all ail the older you ou dare arel oI I asked him looking at his dome of have insinuated thought which ns I Insinuated was In worse need of reformation than path any Montana hilltop that eer et got g In the path of the lumber lumbe trust Yes ho he sa say I am only I got this baldness from o Y when I was young oung You must have have studied powerful hard I told him I suppose that Is why you are so eternally a knowing now o Captain Bm Bill paused and knocked a pipe full of ashes Into the waters of the canal Ive 10 hind had to terry ferry him all the way to Newark to win that plug ot of tobacco but Ive won It at last It If you ou look across there to that Italian barber shop see m my passenger Inside He has had a shave and amI now he is paying the barber 50 cents to rub some perfumery Into his scalp The barber says It will positively make the hair grow and my friend be believes him the same as little Ernst be believes believes what mamma tells teUs him about Santa Claus which leads me to think said Captain Bill that no matter how deep a man may be you can strike bet bot bottom tom If you ou keep leep on taking soundings long enough |