| Show POINTED i STORIES V Vj j r rA A A Few Anecdotes Gathered From From Va Various Va Various rious Sources Rochester Herald HeraldOn Heralda AOn On a steamer on which I was a pas passenger passenger said a Chicago man some someone someone someone one told Mark Twain on a rough windy morning that he looked sea seasick seasick sick ck It is Im I m not 10 t tIt seasick said the humor hutor You Yo look it i the other persisted Then Mark Twain laughed laughe his story short gruff grf laugh and told us alt all nI a astory aStory He began by toy saying that It I never paid either in jest or earnest ernest to tell tel people that they did not look well He said there was a practical joker in a certain New York office This young man put up a practical joke on I Ithe the bookkeeper a quiet steady se serious rious rous chap The Tle Joke j k was f rV V ry one to tell tel the bookkeeper that he I looked very Vert very ve bad Indeed It I a wondered ct this would have haveIt It I was a hot August morning when hen It the joke began The office boy started Aint ye yc well wel Mr Ir Quill he asked Yes of course Why Quill Qui asked Why Thy ye e look so pale said the boy boyr boyT T r feel all al right said Quill Qui calmly c J ly and he put on ba Is seersucker ke office cc coat and set set to work iok But when hen the told him lila he looked ill I Quilt Quill Qui frowned jl and nd said he lie had hud had a bad night that wasal was all al When the cashier asked him him what made him have such a queer color he said his heart felt fel strange So Sa for tor an hour or two Quill Qui was tormented with Ith anxious inquiries full fun of gloomy tore bodying about his health And finally final with wih an n impatient worried gesture ge ture he threw tm won down his pen and amid hastened tp to the office of e of the chief He was vas gone perhaps five minutes Then he came came back again in the chiefs chis s company V Men said the chief raising rising his Ils hand to command the th attention of all allas allas as a Mr 11 Quill Qui Is most unwell I have granted him a ten days leave of ab absence absence absence sence Please arrange to divide his work turns equally among you till ti he re returns tuns London Tattler Tatter Justice Maule Manic is regarded as the leading judicial wit in England He had doubts as to the credibility of a witness on one occasion and the man declared that he had been wedded to the ruth from infancy That may be said Judge Maule but the question queston is how long have you been divorced A little girl was a witness before him and he lie proceeded to ascertain whether she knew the nature of an oath The child in answer to ques questions questions questions said she would go to heaven If she told the truth but would go to the theOther theother theother Other place if I she told lies les Are re you sure of that my dear Justice Maule asked Yes sir quite sure Let her be sworn said the court court she knows more than I do New ew York World orld Whenever Theodore P head hed of the com corn company company pany returns to his office and re remarks remarks remarks marks I gave them oxen talk his secretaries know then some one got gat a good laying out Of Ot course cour there is a astory astory astory story about the way oxen talk got Into the family and here it is His father Cather was a western pioneer and anti crossed the plains with wih an an ox train rain One One of the party was a clergy clergyman cers clergyman he lie had time the finest man and although ugh the yoke he was vas always alas getting stuck suck The leader grew tired going to the rear every e ry few hours to get the oxen over the rough places laces but under his fluent cursing the oxen never failed to move Finally he said to the cler clergyman gyman Parson youve oue just got to learn oxen talk Damn em sir Cuss em right and left lef its is the only anly language they the understand Mr Ir Shouts father learned oxen talk along alon with time the tw minister til both have found use for it on rare occasions in driving men Lippincotts Magazine A certain gentleman genteman from the Eme Emerald Emerald raid Isle who was unused to the way this country count was accosted one day by a member of the sporting fraternity This person peron offered to impart to him for a modest consideration a marvel marel marvelous ous way to make money toil ing lag for it I All one needed he ne said was wasa a small amount to bet on a certain certin horse that possibly lose And ye say 01 Ot can get money mone without working for tor it asked the be bewildered bewildered Irishman when the tue other was through explaining Sure thing All Al the tIme work you ou got to todo todo todo do is to count the mazuma Ill 11 try tr it said Pat PatSo PatSo PatSo So they the h d f th h ni m to a a race ra course lr e where the gentleman g placed Pats Pat money at odds of ot 5 to 1 And the horse won Pats joy was un nfl unbounded unbounded bounded when he lie was handed a large roll roiL rol of yellow y lo backed bills bis Calling his newfound friend to one side he asked In a voice oie that trembled with wih excite excitement excitement ment Ol Of say howlong howong has this tIlIng bean b en goin on |
