Show u Kid Academic Floored 1 1 1 4 j Varsity Paper Does It ORBID Salt Lakers who have o harbored har har- f MORBID bored tho misguided idea that education ed education education ed- ed is a sad sael serious thing will have their eyes opened when thc they I see seo the latest output of or the students of ot tho the University of Utah The output is entitled Tho Tile HumBug Hum Hum- Bu Bug a brand 1 new now humor magazine arid and in its Initial appearance yesterday eg the boys bos kicked 1 old kid Aca Academic Precedence Precedence- a lusty one And an ann anyway n sa says s 's ono contributor tor theres always one thing thinS to be said in favor faor of school school school-it It keeps ono one indoors in some darned arned poor weather Next I IM IH I Lend I.e.-ael end Article And nd another suggests One way to prevent y tent font a n. safety deposit boa bos bo and store your our books In tho the lead article entitled Next In which tho author Whit Burnett at attempts attempts at- at tempts to shave the barber the local g-cn g gentry tr of or the strap and bla blade blado ma may read nall Some lII men n co go 0 Into a barber harLer whop shop to toJ o onet J net get t their nalin nalls cleaned tl anti their hair cut cul web Veli han that's what they RO go o In for or lit nt the they come onH out with Uh their purse cleaned and their thrums cut Next Nest NestOr I Or Or- Or We c often sit alt for hours and nd it under r our barber UIt tins ever cr evern n little haver Cr like Ilk UK uc I Olive Olin Affect ct Her tier Other Othor excerpts from the first issue follow student Modern toting Tonne Ind r r I just hate the time ta taste le of oC olives olives and and 1 Im I'm so glad gla I dont don't like cm em cau cause o if Ie I liked em 1 Id I'd 1 have to cat eat em om an and I Just cant can't bear benr cm em Lawrence Hughes a rl rising young oun author au author au- au thor som somewhat what undecided whether to bo bu an author or not and who flatly says ays he wont won't if Ir he ho has to rise any earlier Is father of or Ama An 11 Authors Author's Alibi I am arn going to be bo a great aut author lor Great authors must have hw their all alibi Heres mine 1 i. I am a n. poor pen pen- man mOon U By a penman I mean one ono who wields a pen pen not not ono one who lives in 00 one All 11 great at writers nr are poor writers Carlyle CarlI was wa a n poor loor penman So IB Is George c A Ado o. o I re Car- Car lylo and C George Georgo or A Ado Ade e. e 2 I am ant cultivating a n. Van Yan Dyke Dyko beard Leard Chel h hantI and antI Zola Lola had Van ais Dyko DIo beards I aim hull all 11 soon re cm- cm ble hit and Zola 3 3 I J am preoccupied r nn and amid 1 enl slovenly Like E Poe Poc and Rex flex Dead Beach I J am addicted to a rakish hat a flowing black tie lIe and a n slouchy slouch louch shirt Soon when whon I am a great groat rat author I shall hall have havea haven a n change of or slouch slouchy shirts l 4 Jack Jacl London I Homer and I have havo had li manuscripts man rejected by hy the tho vcr very UC l nt I 1 am going to b bo be a great author and Love IoVe The fact that prohibition I lit 11 apparently lucre hero to 10 stay IN is the thing c Lich prevent 11 1 us from front Minting that tome some n men Inn t-n t re the borne hor e In you ou cnn ens lend lead Vm conI across the tr street C but hut C they out buy n a drink Lowe I to a man is hs a a. stimulant stimulant- something to quaff upon occasion occasion- moderately moderate to a n. woman wornall something on which to set get gloriously drunk drunk and and i M JUt lOi t the tho 11 0 It on t the hc local tl field of or a new municipal administration tion lion It is to be bo hoped the spirit of or charity will prevail c o. o g. g what can bo lie more unkind than the 81 sign n which now I I graces g the cit city and county countr- building halls Dont Expectorate lier e Read the Or Ordinance Is this wo we ask satIsfaction satisfaction sat sat- for a man who's got sot to spit Or is it another victory for tor literature litera litera- ture That man is no longer a bo boy when his nerves no longer tingle tins or his muscles mus mus- cles tug when the Ire firo engines race on by bj I I I promised her that some seine fair day dar Id I'd versify her praises praises nay nay s-nay nay So sweet Id I'd sing in lyric la lay Her name would woul 1 rise above Where hero fame iso is Wo Yo parted parte parted so so m so my loco lovo and I We e chose choso to sinS sing and not to die She's SheA married Let married Let t mo me sigh sigh sigh- And l Ive I've o forgotten what Her name Is ls A stu student nt body periodical purely yet t designed to touch tho the funny bono bone of or persons not connected with tue uni uni- campus the tho Hum Bug say sn f Its editors edfors will be bc Issued month monthly The March larch number lumber will be devoted to tu spring fashions I |