| Show 51 Traveling Too Fast j F p fr k 4 iv fr F k for tor for Eyes Eyes f j 4 fr 1 Next Asks Jenson a 1 of dol doleful ful drollery the faults of Salt Lake ultra-modern ultra in its ns 1115 and d altogether too fast of progress were 5 set t out by Parley P. P I a recent address before re members of the Commercial club The Thethis Thethis this satire was so 80 pleasing to those at the Victory banquet where ird lId that h his talk is ia printed today for general public perusal en I I 1 was v.-ns a boy there were very few people who wore glasses cr er assured his is audience tt Now ow look around Men lien women and nd arc all wearing gln glasses es just dust like that hell w wagon hell loOn the automobile is it It is because wo we are going so ao 0 fast that we wo have o to have M haveIs Is on our eyes ess nf of which this novel navel con con- I s 3 a a. put part follows member of or this club as LS a a. aan aan an n of ot Salt t Lake City I feel teel aid old take this this' opportunity to word of ot warning to you oU ro roll re- re 11 ll this talk about progress nt advancement and recon- recon i which this club Is la always alays out and which you arc nrc talk talk- talk tonight I tell you ou you ou arct arc aro t fast t tho the world Is moving I shall warn you that If Ir Ift t stop boosting and boosting this good c log inS and speeding wed led world that gave ave you OU a ad ald td ld d a Q father tather will soon Boon cof go co f fast t that you who are arc here be able to get such a mother r t again It Is always boost and more speed We Ve have irney and too much boost Is Isune Mme une as a Q bur under a horses horse's horse will run like Uke a son son-of- a a. little ways and then stop its world gentlemen if It you youe e you are thinking of or going ie world coming to anyhow Here we ar are aro tonight ht eat- eat at 9 o'clock when we wo used it t noon by tho the whistle Bali Datha the things which we are arc spend our money for tor are er Sy want us to spend house honse Think of or that amount for Cor a bathhouse Look what commission wants wants- and all you can flo do doa floa a bath in It What Is la tho the you can enn Just as LS well fill a n. water Saturday night at nt d for tor nothing get Jet Just as IS clean and save all aU that money and water v 1 Parks Parka end lind The city officials and the Commercial Commercial Commer Commer- cial club want wan to spend thousands of or dollars for tor parks No Now that is all all' nonsense All these places do Is to lure luro tho people away from home homo and from their work Also we spend money to keep wild animals alive In the tho parks when whon as a 3 matter of ot fact w wo o ought to spend money to exterminate them Nowadays wo we aro are spending thousands thousands thou thou- sands of dollars on playgrounds rounds and ond to hire teachers What for To 10 teach our children to play That Is entirely ridiculous Children always knew how to play They have known how now to play since Adam was a bo boy Thero There Is too much pIa play What hat is needed Is the expenditure of or thousands of ot dollars to teach the children how to work and make them like 1 It t like lice tho they like lIe pIa play Pavements I and Hoad What Is the use of or spending millions millions millions mil mil- lions of or dollars dollar on roads and pavements pavements pavements pave pave- ments Haven't we wo been spending ln millions of or dollars to build railroad tracks street car tracks and Interurban Interurban interurban ban tracks all over the country countr And now that th the tho railroads and street cars are arc running all over tho countr country on Iron rails ralls you OU arc are boostIng boostIng boosting boost- boost Ing for a wagon road for automobiles from rom New York to California and from Logan to St 81 and back a aln I If you do th this r then what good goodill will ill the railroads and street streetcars streetcars cars calS be Can you OU tell me that After you get et this automobile road built for millions of or dollars dollar In a few years wont won't It be useless because we will I I Imone travel by aeroplane and then all aU your mone money Is wasted Soldiers Soldier Nt and Sailors Sailor Monuments Monument nb Governor Bamberger er and the thc Legislature Legislature Legis Legis- lature and some som other citizens want us I to spend thousands of or dollars for j. j 1 monument to the soldiers an and sailors I Isay Isay Isay I say that the thc Brigham Young monument is good od enough for an any one All 11 that thatIs Is la necessary Is Just to put a brass plate with the postscript on II It on the base of or the Brigham ham Young monument and that will do o for the soldiers and sailors sailors sail sail- ors ors and then we save all nil that thal money Look what these power companies I have o done to our mountain streams and andI rivers rivers' Tho They Thoy have built bl big power stations stations sta sta- through which the they run the water watern I n arid atod ld they have ha extracted nil all tho the electricity elec elec- electricity from the water and then they sell en it back to us for light and power Yet every everyone one knows that we we would be bo healthier and better off oft without these lights They Thoy only keep people up at nt night when they should be asleep Candles and coal oil lights arc are good goodenough goodenough enough for tor any ony one to sleep by and that Is what tho the night Is for They also have tho the electric theatres and movies and they call that progress but butI I have h-avo never been able yet to get a 3 scat In ono of or thee new fashioned theatres theatres theatres the the- atres where I could get et close enough to the thc stage to hear what the actors are saying I Sky Scraper Scrapers Now Just look at Main street and see ee the millions of or dollar that are be beIng being being be- be ing spent In building sky scrapers What Is the use Dont Don't we wo know thai that since tho the do day of ot Noah there have been floods and earthquakes that shake shakedown shakedown shakedown down and destroy If It we wo should have an earthquake and these sky scrapers should tumble down look at the tho waste of or money Besides you youcan youcan can cnn ask osk Ezra Thompson or George Georgo Romney or any man on Main street who owns property and he ho will tell fell you OU that that a story one building pays lots more Interest than a sky scraper and It never nover falls down or burns up or wears out whether there thero is an earthquake earthquake earth earth- quake or not Tho The story one-story building stands forever Waterworks sad and Severs The city who are spending our m money ne want millions million of ot dollars for waterworks and sewers servers Can you OU explain wh why It is when we know that the tho more waterworks you build I to hold the tho water In and keep it In the thc more sewers you ou have havo to build to lake talo tho the water away I tell you gentlemen I am not nt so sure about these bOOSting G and bond I elections and I Ivarn warn varn you OU against going Joy riding with your oUr good Judgment Just Imagine for a a. minute what a a. terrible terrible ter ter- ter- ter calamity It be If It wo we spent all this money to build reservoirs reseT and tanks to store storo up our drinking water ator and ancl then If It wo we should wake wako up one morning and find that tho the country had wet t then who would want voted w again then I i I I this water and anel what good would your our tanks and reservoirs b be then Commercial Cl Club b This Commercial club Is going al alto altogether altogether al- al to together ethor too fast To belong to tho the Commercial club you ou have e to pay du dues s sand and then all the privilege you get isto I Ito is isto to talk tall about how to si sl sl nd ind and spend and spend the taxpayers taxpayers' m money nc But you OU never hear one word about how toI to save your mane money and get interest on It No It is always boosting for something I new something new which Is taking this worM world world t to perdition I When 11 hen I was a bo boy there were very few people who wore ore glasses glosses Now i look around Men women and chili children children chil chil- dren are all wearing glasses just like that hell wagon the automobile And AnI i wh why Is it If It Is l because eca uso we wo are going ol nc- nc so fast that we have to have wind shields on our eyes I toll you ou you dont don't know where It will lead us to Seeking New Things Thine All AU the trouble th that t we have hae had has be bee beef caused by people not being I satisfied with Ith the good old fashioned I things and aAd always alwa's wanting now new Look what would have happen ed cd If It Queen Isabelle Isabella and the king of or Spain had refused to furnish mone money and ships for tor Columbus America might not have been discovered yet et and then we would not have been In Inthe Inthe inthe the war And then thon what was It that brought broucht us Into the war after atler all anZ It was these new Inventions and Ideas the telegraph telephone wireless elec elec- steamships submarines railroads railroads rail rall- A roads roade and other new things 9 Now after this terrible war In which nearly all nations were pretty nearly bankrupt bankrupt bankrupt bank bank- rupt President Wilson Is traveling all an over the world pretty prelly near and William H. H Taft Is running all over oer th the United States pretty near telling us that wo we must have a lL league of or nations eo co that there will never be bein anymore in wars between the tho nations In Inthis inthis this world orld but I tell teU you ou It Is no good because It If we keep on at the rate we wo are trying to go 0 even If It we dont don't havo have war with any other nations na na- nations It t Is Just a matter of ot time before before be be- fore tore some ome of or these busy fellows In the aeroplanes and flying lying machines will willI I bump Into some other fellows In aeroplanes aeroplanes aero aero- I planes and flying machines from the moon or s some mc other planet and then there will be a Wa war between n tho the earth and these other planets and then where would you be bo I 1 ma may not know e everything about this subject but what I do know I 1 know like hell bell and I call on you OU aUto all aU I to halt |
