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Show High Time MmM Slaw lmf By H.OKKNCK BITTNKK It's probably time I voiced my st.md tin women's liberation. libera-tion. I'm all fur it. Recently at a rally for women's lib, there were some placards which voiced sentiments which I en-thusiastically en-thusiastically support. "Housewives are unpaid slave labor." BOY, 1)0 we slave, and does anyone appreciate it? We get lots of complaints about what we don't do, but does anyone notice what we do? ( )ne day someone in my house is going to say "Gee, Mom, this blouse smells nice," and no matter what I put in the wash, I shall take full credit, but I'm not holding my breath. "Women work non-union hours." Do we ever! The minute our feet hit the floor we're on the job. At least there's no problem prob-lem of portal to portal pay, but sometimes we get in trouble for sleeping on the job. WHICH BRINGS up one of my long time labor-management labor-management complaints. It is stated specifically in my contract con-tract I get an afternoon nap, and when did I get the last one? I plan to take naps, but intentions inten-tions dorf't count. That is a fringe benefit I'd like to have delivered, and maybe with some retroactive naps thrown in. "Washing diapers isn't fulfilling." ful-filling." No one can argue with that. It's been a while since I washed a diaper, but I can say without any hesitation that I never found any fulfillment in washing diapers. Fulfillment in babies, yes; in their diapers, no. But the one does sort of seem to be a by-product of the other. THERE ARE a few other little lit-tle defects in the main product of this housewife and mother business which need the attention atten-tion of whoever is in charge of production and quality control. con-trol. If babies would just come with dry noses and not cry after af-ter dark and if someone could do something about the tendency ten-dency they have to grow up and become teenagers, we could go back to the baby producing pro-ducing business and be really fulfilled. "Housewives have poor employee relations." I've complained about that quite a lot, but complaining doesn't seem to get me rich relations. I haven't decided whether the relations we acquire with marriage mar-riage come under the heading of fringe benefits or job hazards. I guess it depends on the family we marry into. At any rate, there doesn't seem to be a lot we can do about employee em-ployee relations on this job. "HOLSEWIVES have no fringe benefits." Well, now, that's not always true. There's the matter of the promised naps which might one day materialize. We don't have unemployment un-employment insurance, but I don't know any unemployed housewives. I know a few retired re-tired ones and some w ho just plain abandoned the position for more fulfilling work, but unemployment is not a problem prob-lem for housewives. Sick benefits? Who has time to be sick? Even when I give up and go to bed, my employers em-ployers save all the little jobs for me. They wouldn't want me to feel unwanted, now. would they? THE PROBLEM with women's work, say the proponents propo-nents of w omen's liberation, is that women aren't appreciated in their ow n jobs and they have to live vicariously through their husband's jobs. We do? I mean, yes, we do. Every night w hen they come home all beat because they were mean to him out there in the cold cruel world while housewives have spent their day slaving at unpaid jobs in the quiet security of four w alls he provided, we can realize again how unfair it all is. "END HUMAN sacrifice: don't get married." All right! Only I haven't quite figured out just w ho is going to be sacrificed sac-rificed if no one gets married any more. I have a suspicion maybe marriage is women's idea and we just might be ending en-ding a good thing. But I still intend to be liberated. liber-ated. Any day now. |
