Show A I o 1 Wit IT 11 As A T o oA Wisdom A YV Aid id t 4 i Orators at nights Knights of Columbus Banquet Indulge I II in Quips and Raillery I Humor Vein Humor Vein Tapped By Larry Fern KJ W v IT and wisdom D are arc tW twin 1 brothers Humor vies with logic when brainy men gather At At- Atthe the Knights of Columbus banquet hanquet at the thc Hotel Utah last week wit and humor were not wanting Bishop Joseph S. S Glass the first laugh at the expense of Democrats Democrats Demo cruts present when he ho dryly that they had not assembled there therewith therewith therewith with the intention of j the example o ot oI the Democratic brethren who lock the doors when the room room is full an and announce that contributions are first in order A later speaker remarked that he lie noted a n. look of pleased relief steal over oyer tho the faces of the audience when the bishop announced there would bo ho no subscriptions taken there Former GOY Gov William am Spry who wilo I was toastmaster poked considerable fun at State Food Administrator WV W. W I i W. W v Armstrong Armstrong- lIe He referred to Armstrong Armstrong Arm Arm- Armi strong as the great Poo Bah Bali of Utah who ho presumes to tell us what we shall cat eat and when hen we s s all cat eat it it IBId and continued Though he lie may mar g give gc c us w atless days and meatless da days s vo wo earnestly beseech him not to g give ge e us days For if we arc to win this war warwe warwe we wc must be bo well fed Armstrong retaliated by taking it out on Parson Simpkin who sat at his left Since I have ha been in public life I have ha had to 10 speak so often that I Ican Ican Ican can almost speak as us well as ns Parson Simpkin here he lie said II Tho The ot other her herI I day I addressed a dresse a meeting at Logan and when hen T 1 picked up tip The rhe Herald Herald- Toral Republican next morning I discovered that I had moved my audience to tears I proudly sho showed shoed ed the caper lo to my wife and und sho site rather acridly suggested that I might mig better hetter employ lUy my mone money b by contributing to th the Red RedCross Cross than employing a press agent Yell Well we orators when we vc on once e set get started are arc hard hurd to stop arent aren't wc ve Parson M Parson had two to good stories stor stor- ies ics up his sleeve both dealing with the war The Tho first went this way Wll A Jew was bravely manning his trench post rilen the captain v approached approached approached ap ap- ap- ap him t J I Well Yell Jakey how hov is everything every every- every every- thing he inquired r Oh fine finc captain JJ tl 4 Have Haye you anything to comp complain compain ain about t 1 No 1 captain I I Youre You're quite sure everything is is all right with you ou tl Well captain theres there's just one one thing I would like hike to know v. Did I enlist in ill tile the army r or in the tIm navy na It brought a good laugh as did this I other one ont An Irishman t though hou h badly ou l wound d- d ed was as smiling broadly as 35 he lie was being being be lC ing carried earned into the ambulance His mates asked him what was wes the mat mat- ter Be Be gorry gorr he replied replie its it r the first fi fight ht I ever got goot into where there wasn't some domed pol policeman eeman to stop it John G. G Mott rott of or Los Angeles told tol 1 of meeting metin a n Utah soldier in the dining din din- ing car while coming up tip on the train Ho related this conversation conver I T understand you Utah etah men arc the pick of the camp J said Mr Mott l We Ve Ye arc are the soldier replied And then by lY way of afterthought continued But its it's a mighty hard harl reputation to live livo up to He lie also told this story A man from Iowa was going west westan an ahi and decided that the best way ay to get rid of his live stock was to distribute it among his old neighbors He lIe de IC decided to make the rounds with his un horses and chickens Wherever HJ the wife fe was boss he be would leavo a n chicken chick chick- I en and wherever the time man Dnn was boss h hof ho lie would leave a horse At evening his f r chickens were nearly all gone but he lie still had his horses Finally ho met meta a rather imposing nn and assertive individual indi vidual and inquired boss hoss here you here vou or wife I am the lie farmer replied in a 1 atone atone tone that seemed to leave little doubt of the fact Well ell then you get a horse Which will you ou have the tin bl black ck or the gray gra Y I Ill have haye tile the black he lie replied Then he lie excused excuse himself a n moment as ns he went into tho the house On Oil reappearing reappearing reappearing reap reap- he lie said Ive Ic changed m my mind nind Ill I'll take tho gray graj No No you dont don't loll t replied the first fanner farmer Yon 11 take a chicken 1 |