Show I I I The Conquests of Constance I SWITCHBOARD S OPERATOR AT THE HOTEL RICH BICH I t I BY ALMA WOODWARD I t. t I IMS by The Press Publishing Co I rp yet yer r limpid lamps lamp on met mci T I Connie commanded oven even before she gave me inc greeting I What on earth i h have liae 0 you YOU done Ilone to your 11 hall hail a II I r gasped Aint It it Im- Im menI meas l u 1 o- o marked Just like a mummy hUh huhl Gosh Its It's ome some I. I I take It from frum fromme me Tue I gotta oHa ca eat cat l n my n- I breakfast off ov on the bureau un 1 I I Im I'm ibm It o or 0 1 I wouldn't have tune lime I to Lu get i et no JIO feed f at atall I nil all In lii tho the morn- morn II lug I I think Its It's hideous hideo I 1 1 announced 11 It conviction cOIl Oh OhI I uv course coun c YOU do Rn sneered Yuh dont don't know what's swell an ele clr gent gant ant Yuh uh aint got ot an nn Idea a n. full pleated skirt an a clean white rr lut rii rI If I. 41 si au u A I co 0 now straight now straight from Paree Parce it Is 18 an all the riskiest on the tho boulevards boulevards boule boule- yards I Is it it only only the they get Ret theirs done by maids an I gotta gott lick all m my own plaster m myself self Well Vell yuh uh see ee ee must slick out There mustn't be bo no fluff t to er head at all So first you ou gotta Folta douse doune It good g with sticky An latter after yuh uh got Ket the stuff sturt on on yuh uh brush Sam Hill Hili until yuh uh feel tee I th the hair making friends with yer er brain Then yuh uh do dl it up flat and pull scallops out uv liv it two it two o on cr forehead an an one on each side of or your our identification ticket See v where the thc plaster comes in Yuh take some sonic black an yuh yuli fasten ono one side uv U UIt It to the under side uv the tho scallop then yuh yuli press like the tho dickens and the heat u uv yuh yuli uh makes males it stick to toy y y yr r skin I I got four tour pieces on now but yuh uh can cant see sec cm c cap can n yuh uh The Thc only thing thIns Is I gotta be careful be-careful not to allow alloi my 10 merriment to spread to the ou outside The head bartender come conic In here hereabout hereabout hereabout about ten minutes s ago and told me a alIew anew new luea an an bore vre 1 thou thought ht 1 I Jet let m my girlish laughter disturb my m- face an first thing yuh ruh know them scallops f om l ft 1 I. I T 1 had Jad to send Claud to the thc corner drugstore drug drug- store to get some gome more 1 Youre a a. goose I scolded You look Wee like an nn Idiot and you ou ought to feel lee I worse ors Not Kot on your our life Its It's a n. fine thing Ju Just t an sy e wn way t to follow ollow the beauty advice about not lettin yer emotions pleat yer fr face fer let yuh uh Oh go on and auth tall talk about something something- rise else I haven't an any p patience nce with you ou Who's HoJ going oln to ho bo the piece dc de re resistance re- re today You sound like lIle a a French table table- she tie shot hack but ut I glean l an that yuh uh mean Toil Tail about the tho next quinces s so RO hero here STOPS goes Og II lie IIo a gumshoe gink gink-a gink a Ah h thin like lIJe a a. string bean So So thin that If f he lie can carried led any cash it haul had to be bEll all ll It Itono In one ono bill bill an an folded l length nth wl wise nie e. e a at that It 11 made it good for tor him In in his Ills bu business lne s lie could hJ hide hido o behind mow most anything anything- eNI even a a. an nn watch the f t fair lr elaIne dame read her liar cl Un tiny communications An th then n ou out hed he'd d p pop p an ln strangle l le h her r with h her r until she ne let Jet cm em drop an tItan then hed turn em om over to friend husband an an get g-et 8 blood lood mon money Doph like lIko that See Well eli Vell I used to think It a grand So So creel creepy an Important im im- Im- Im An the tho graft the they get Is SO SOME E pocket noise nol let me tell yuh ruh I Everything er smooth until ono one nl night ht I wu walkin t through Fort Forty Forty- third street goin oln home from work when a 0 tubby thing grow In black spinach from his under lip Up comes up pit II an an s says Good evening little one just the that So I up with m my m handkerchief 1 It had a bunch u uv u keys l tied to one corner corner cor cor- ner ncr uv it an I landed one clean cnn swipe across across' his face tace It H knocked off th tho thu spinach an an part paiL uv ut his Grecian nose an an I seen It wua wu the In di disguise Ho thou thought ht it a a. grand jol joke Joko o that J I toll fol for It I didn't say a much right then thon But after a n. few hours' hours thought ht I de decided decided de- de elded to can himIn him Why In ju just juat t in imagine in aft after r we wu married an ho on different differ differ- ent exit cases how It'd be Hed He'd havo o to to disguise ulse himself different every evey fen ew da days R an what'd m my reputation Be bein seen with a n. one eta day au an a n bloomin En Englishman tho the next Gee Ht |