Show l la 1 Days Day's a Y YA s Good tortes Stories A FUTURE ROCKEFELLER Trust monopolies have had their da day They did more harm than good Hence they must go But all the same we must admire the long headedness of ot the men who created these vast en enterprises en- en The speaker was Senator La Follette Ho He wont went on The Tho trust creator re reminds reminds re- re minds me of at the tho little bo boy who entered the farmers farmer's truck patch and said touching a handsome cucumber on a 0 avine avine vine Ho How much for tor this Ten cents coats tho the farmer answered I dont don't want to pa pay more than about 2 cents said the bo boy W Well rell ell heres here's one for tor that price said the farmer and he lifted up uv a very small cucumber that grew brew beside the big one All AU right Ill I'll take her said eald the thebo bo boy But Dut dont don't cut her off oCt now Ill I'll call for tor her hor again In two weeks' weeks time St. St St. Louis Globe Democrat BRIGHT POLICEMEN During the car early period of ot the work ork on the P Panama canal many persons were wore Injured by Jumping on and ot off trains In motion on tho the Panama railroad railroad rail rail- road There were on the zone police I force many West est Indians who wore I trained and capable men but Incurably literal An order ordel was Issued d to the force to arrest an any person found JumpIng jumping Jump Jump- Ing Ins Inson on or off a 0 train In motion and the next day lay two West rest Indian policemen brought Into a L police n. n white whiteman whiteman whiteman man who was struggling fiercely to break awa away them What have havo you OU arrested him for asked the police sergeant who was on dUl duty duly For Jumping on and off the he rear o of a 1 atrain atrain train sah one of the policemen re replied ro- ro plied lIedThe lIed Tho The blamed fools cried the arrested arrested arrested ar ar- rested man Im the tho brakeman brakeman- Youths Youth's Companion ENLIGHTENING HIM Mr 11 Meek was laboriously hooking up the back of his Ills tv wife's ife s evening dress Just as the clock was striking their dinner hour and their dinner r guests were ringing the door bell Mr Meek breathed hard hord his forehead was damp and his hands shook I do wish some somo one ono would Invent a machine to do this kind of work ho he muttered miserably Why Wh the they have replied his wife brightly brighty as she sho applied some powder nonchalantly to her nose The They have havo and you ou are It FATHERS FATHER'S GOOD POI POINT T. T Little Elizabeth had been offended In some way says the tho New York Times She went off ott Into a a. corner and turned her back on the family Im mad she sho exclaimed sulkily I 1 wish I 1 didn't have any father or mother wrong dear said her mother We Yo are the best friends you OU have Well reU said cald Elizabeth doubtfully I 1 dont don't mind having father Cather he doesn't hang around hero here much out Im I'm getting awful tired of the rest of you MIGHTY USI USEFUL FUI The Tho following conversation between two small colored bO boys boy's 8 was overheard at the Washington navy y yard What foh dey want dem big guns I thought we wouldn't nab hab no moh wah nh Well We wo has hag to hab dem to sass cm em back Now New Now York Times STILL MENACED Well Nell madam Is IB your our husband out of ot danger It Isn't quite sure the tho doctor Is coming again Paris again Paris Le La Lire BETTER DEnEn TITAN THAN THAT Who is the most capable boy In the graduating class Wish to give somebody a n medal Not Kot on your life I want to give somebody a a. Job Louisville Courier Courier- Journal WORKING HIS IllS WAY A Y TO TilE THE TOP Now m my bo boy you'll have to start at the tho bottom and work up All right dad Tho The best 1 J can cnn do Is to make mako you ou fourth vice president of our corpora corpora- tion Kansas Kansas City Journal SURE ENOUGH A train leaves New York supposed supposed sup sup- posed the tho teacher tr traveling 40 0 miles an hour It Is followed 30 minutes later b by a train traveling 80 miles mUt's an hour At what hat point will the tho second train run Into the first The class clasH seemed at a L less loss that la is hi all except Willie Green who was standing standing stand tand ing In the aisle vigorously wagging his hand wen Well Willie said tho the teacher At tho the hind end of ot the rear car maam ma'am answered Willie New Willie New York Press HIS illS OWN ON DIL BRAND DAh D. D Ah my dad Is spoiled I came off oCt without my Algernon will let lct you have some of or his his' Dear mel mei I 1 cant can't smoke with another fellahs fellah's monogram on them Louisville Courier Journal IN What are you ou standing here for tor forand forand and antI crying little boy for ter tho the extra Pa Po said 1 I come como homo home without a a. great victory victory Dla Blatter GOOD REASON Agitated Hated Stockholder Why Stockholder Why haven't you ou declared the tho regular quarterly di divIdend dl- dl Director Director We We couldn't borrow the tho money Chicago Chicago News AT THE TOP rop The They sn say Mrs do Style Stylo always welcomes wel wel- comes her hers poor relations under her own roof root Yes I understand she puts them thom In the tho Rock attic Rocky Mountain News PLACING THE TilE DI BLAME IE Have you OU anything to say aay before I PIU pass sentence Yes your our honor I would call your I I attention to t the e fact that tho fool tool lawyer who defended mo me was assigned to the case by i Philadelphia Ledger PROVED CONTE CONTENTION Do y You se see seo that thai girl In ln the third ro row of or the tho chorus Yes why She promised her mother shed she'd never bo be an actress Well e She l Philadelphia nt Philadelphia Public Led- Led ger THEY HAD TO DE BE Maud Dont Dont you OU think there are areT just as good goot fIsh in the tho sea as ver 01 were T v w caught carte I I dont don't know But they are I smarter anyway Boston anyway Boston Transcript |