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Show I want to see 'Parenting' game show mental contests would be really hard. One would be called "What's He Saying?" A two-year old would come on stage and say something like, "Happy flowers time day to t KEVIN CUMMINGS Correspondent I think game shows would be a lot more interesting if they had some connection to reality. Sure it's interesting to tune in to "Jeopardy!" and watch some accountant ac-countant from New Jersey win $15,000 by correctly naming all five Marx brothers. But, it would be more interesting if the contestants had to do the kinds of things people do in real life. The game show I'd really like to see would be called "Parent- ing!" You could get a genial, host-type person with a slightly macho name like Pat, or Alex, or Biff to run the show. His job would be to ask the questions, guide the contestants from one contest to the next, and look good on camera. "Parenting!" would have both mental and physical contests. The Each contestant could answer in turn. If nobody got it, the host would announce the correct answer. "It was Happy Valentine's Day to you!" In the later rounds, the questions ques-tions would get harder. Another fun game would be "Do We Go to the Doctor?" The parents would be given a list of symptoms-fever, symptoms-fever, runny nose, bright red spots all over the arms and legs-and they would have to decide whether or not they should take the child to the doctor. Some of the problems, like a broken limb and extreme swelling, would be easy. Others, like stomachache and low-grade fever, would be harder. If contestants guess wrong and decide to go to the doctor when the child isn't really sick, their insurance premiums go up. After the first round, the contestants con-testants would move on to "Double Parenting!' Their partners would be brought out, and each couple would compete in a variety of physical contests. One such game would be called "Getting Dressed." This game would simulate a common household event. It would take place on a set that looked like a living room. The parents would have four minutes to get three children dressed and ready for their aunt's wedding. To make the simulation more realistic, the children's clothing would be scattered scat-tered all over, and at least three items would be hidden under the couch or behind the cushions. Contestants could earn bonus points if one of the children has to take part in the wedding and must be dressed in formal wear. Really brave couples could dress all three kids in formals for a chance to double their score. Of course, there wouldn't be any actual prizes. It would be crass to reduce parenting skills to something you do for money. I imagine the host would say something like, "And, for successfully raising your four children from infancy to adulthood, you receive a warm glow!" On second thought, maybe that wouldn't be such a good idea. I mean, who would go to all that work for nothing? you!" Then the host would ask the contestants to guess what the kid meant. "Uh... snappy powers dime say to do?" the first contestant would ask. "No, I'm sorry. Anyone else have an answer?" |
