Show As Ithers See Us (Apologies to the Richfield Reaper) Say Hv you air a lucky cuss as ever I set eyes on shows that cheats a man like pison To miss all these here gold-bric- k Now here last night the derndest bunch from that there A C College Was down at the pervilion servin’ up what they called knowledge They had a play — a crazy thing— they called it Whoops to Stomper They say Bill Shakespeare writ it and considered it a humper Well I must say I like Bill’s taste if he calls that stuff writin’ writ can knock it all a kitin’ Why that there piece the school-marA lot of chaps in blue silk pants an’ coats that didn’t fit ’em Jist stood up there an’ gabbled till Isurely ached to hit ’em I couldn’t see no real smart jokes an’ couldn’t find no story ’ Xor any place to stamp your feet an’ whistle an’ yell “Glory ! But all there was the whole way through was jest a lot o’ talkin' An’ some college fellers singin’ an’ a queer old woman squawkin’ It’s jest the worst they've ever had at that there swell pervilion Why there wasn’t nary hero and there wasn't nary villian They didn't shoot a single time there wasn’t any cuttin' and a struttin d But jest them college dudes An’ say the orchestrer was fierce fer all they looked so knowin’ blowin’ Why ole Jim Sykes on his cornet can drown ’em all a Us fellers in the gallery had it in fer all them parrots But we’d went an’left the eggs at home an’ hadn't any carrots Long ’fore the show was over lots of boys they left a trottin’ But I stayed and made them dudes feel cheap the way I hollered “Rotten !” m slim-legge- a-bo- |