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Show f UINTAII BASIN RECORD The Rogues9 Gallery Nina Wilcox Intuam l in the Higher Realm THE FEATHERHEADS SCATTER POP- - f - .L.2zr By C. M. PAYNE You Folks Who Diet, Maybe This Is Something Qu y" Victori his t jy jning g jke hii othei j Youi , mornii isnt ki ; I 1 , You cant dust under It, you cant put it In another part of the room without a derrick and nobody else will take it off your hands. f I Johnny ght 3y NINA WILCOX PUTNAM -- Art ?nd WHAT beis done to what prevent MESCAL IKE b7 $. Milos Perking Up l. huntley it? That is a question which has troubled the average person for more time than it takes to make out a laundry-lis- t in Russian. To begin with Art Is the worlds best alibi for being unreliable and wearing your hair kinda funny. If you have an easel parked in your living room you can throw the dishes around, make rude remarks and neglect to pay your bills and all the public does about it is gasp and say "its the artistic temperament. Its easel-ilithe simplest method of getting your own way about things. As soon as this good news got around the was in for a boom. The artists that couldnt paint went so far as to paste cutouts on their canvases and stick tin cans on em and call the thing "Soul of the Canning Factory or something like that. And dont blame these artists, they dont take the rap for the portraits of s we see. The people who are really responsible for murder of that kind are the vast army who are always saying, "I dont know anything about Art, but I know what I like. If you are in the class which doesnt know anything about Art, let me give you a few hints on how to tell whats good. How to Judge Pictures. To begin with lets take up painting. If a painting is pretty or cheerful or pleasant to look at, you can know right away its an egg. But if its the portrait of some homely old person, so dark and dirty you can hardly see it at all, well you can take a chance and say you like it. Its probably a Rembrandt. If its of a very fat girl with not enough clothes on, you can say its okey, too, because its a Rubens (Not a sandwich, you idiot, but a Flemish National Institution!) But If the picture looks like one no artist could paint, and has d religious people in it, with second-rat- e landscapes which look movie sets, you cau also say "its wonderful because it is probably a Primitive. This class of picture was painted when the world was so primitive that there were no s in which to throw them away, which is why so many of em survived. Another safe rule to go by is the Artists name. If the Artist died over a hundred years ago and you cant pronounce his name, its a good picture. If Its kind of pretty and you enjoy it, be careful. Liking, or claiming you like the portraits of Gloomy Gus, makes you a connoisseur. From the word "con" meaning phoney and "sewer meaning sewer. The French are great at Art, and, of course, youve heard of the Connoisewers of Paris. The Art of Painting, however, had an honorable start in the world. It was invented by an Elk. At least the portrait of an Elk is the first known drawing and is In a Chromium, or Some Kind of Crow, Cave in France. Or maybe it is really the picture of a Moose. Then the Egyptians came along and illustrated the first Mummy-SongThats where Jolson got those hands remember em? The Egyptians were good at Primary colors but they never got beyond the first reader. Peek at the Primitive. Next came Rome and the early Murals. These were generally in the Banquet halls, hence the knock-knoc"A mural gonner stay to dinner?" After which came the Primitives y easel-busine- junk-heap- BRONC PEELER Bronc Identifies the Rustlers By FRED HARMAN pete was CifiWT ABoor WirHCG- i'vjf Always sjsPiciomeo-)e'- s PifMty --Touohi am ifis fcoiN MFM AM CAtlZiOCESTfeir 'Qs.o P.T A Bronc Peeler's Boles STocK J of Back. WESTERN facts funny-lookin- When 8i?NOET AMO WAoRnco, ARC arc r -- They' USUALLY EARMUJKtO sad-face- lt A' 0) MX SEYCRm. OF FV.RKIMO. ISC ILLUVftZATloM SHOWS fIwOAMEAR. 1HE&E VMAVi aaRko AMKSAL s IpoKS pwf fcx? ash-can- too 6oo Trombone Swallower The one ring circus was visiting a town in the hills. The folks there recognized all the Instruments of TWO HANDS By GLUYAS WILLIAMS the band except the slide trombone. One old settler watched the play er for quite some time, then, turning to his son, said: , "Dont let on that youre watching him. Theres a trick to it; he aint really swallowin it. The Rail. Grade A Mrs. Bivens I dont believe this milk is up to standard. It looks suspiciously blue. Milkman Youre wrong, madam. This is our best grade milk. You see, our cows are pastured on blue grass. ratliflnder Magazine. The One Detained "What crime has this man committed? "None, sir. He was a bystander when Tough Tim tried to kill a man, and we are holding him as a witness." "And where Is Tough Tim?' "He's out cn bail." Srfi D01M6 AND NOTHIN WISHIN6 MOfnEH lilLNE win something To po RRlNa Tom: CAUS HEP TO ITtAif Picks UATm Si ASJANff of MASS rnoM Ta&u SHSrf DOWN, PUlS SPOON SlIt'N SACK OH saucer, alia balancing loop OFT SAUCER PKCARiOUSlY( SlAlttS OH s. d IMUtsA'na IT 01 1 N W H HPtH Ftif to S'. I p eiA'S olT or way Hi.imhjINC) (C WTl H.-- SIN IK Ai IU'N0 (AF.t'.ifR lhSW iHMfiRPliv's SANE M M, fa wh in' TO lr T0 k, E TV. Hi'-r- T rn,, fc'iiEP MI'itkS 0 Hi el 1W SH'IIS IT, ElH Nf ) N HANJ'S eiliKt Iff Fn'lira Ssilfs $n,oi II IN H riA A, A VT to, S AW'B.SPilims half of Rn,c ON H'Ai'l.E he (see above, because you cant see and see any lower) and then the big guys, -? S like the one I mentioned who did flying d the ladies in the Misses o into h sized nighties, Rubens. It was an, darl about this time that everyone was . "and d singing "Ruben, Ruben Ive been s the sid t over a thinking! Boy! No wonder! After which Art got realistic and J1 comp began to look like people and so oh forth and, oh well, if you like that 'el'ow s sort of stuff youve only got your Ton' ' a chi1' first million. This is the Epoch in Art and few million? ires 8 laail are brave enough to pass up caviar changi ? A wa! $ in favor of a banana-spli- t. sl Of course, all Art is not confined J to painting, although if some paint- - " ers were confined there wouldnt walk o have been any great popular move- -TJtemoon ment to get em out. But I W3 s' ""'ese ?uer aler really thinking of Sculpture. Yes,' lets take up Sculpture you bring itutmlookwasU the truck! 3 years f One of the things which has made a most about me ways interested , classic sculpture is, where on earth e did the Greeks get all those Cali- . to fornians pose for their statues?' The Apollo, and old gal Venus di,caJn r all Milo, and the that Olympic material never came ve don't J out of any other state, Ah well, I got er suppose its one of those His tori-e- r there, you cal difficulties which will never ou it i solved, like who threw the lighted" :8'd be a lamp at Mother? There are not nearly so many ria said, bappy sculptors as painters, and one rea- - that Sur son for this is undoubtedly the dif-- "!ane in Gee, of the goods. Acuity peddling I hate to think of the trouble the J1S why, feller who sculpted the statue of Lib- - as of th "to t go erty must have had before he got it 0 what it Can you imagine the placed! ' two w Paris around man that poor lugging it- out-size- , al'. Discus-Throwe- be-?I- Vicky ai eir lovel from office to office, up and down stairs, trying to get somebody td take it off his hands? Well, at that, I expect he had a cinch compared suddenly ctoria ui to the sculptor who finally sold Phar,!ln had ? raoh the Sphinx. juld go ov Architecture at a Glance. another ei Sculpture can never be as POP- wat lar as painting because once yoa is there own a piece of sculpture y0jjj( aboui practically nothing you can do dust . it Its just there. You cant atternool under it, you can t put it in an ca other part of the room without I derrick and nobody else will take it off your hands. t f aWay va there are oflief, nursery. Of course, Arcni branches of Art, too, like ."-allthey tecture, you know, the guyswhdj Eoms in built the Fallen Arches os and the busted Lincoln MemorLu Grece embrL top of that hill in Athens, The Greeks had a word for F parthetic, I thin! dear. Architects In the ol4 days the usej1 to build churches for the love iear . , . and Forums and Fivems and civic decorations and they were sort of cross between a scu P r and a mason. Nowadays tbey ,0 J.1 a cross between an engineer a financier. made Jew Bookbinding and badly bchin under w TiCnt in sneak to also try elry heading of the Arts. Evena fine h , g out at t ai , has become ea word Ari the until so and forth, r a awaj has come to mean "getting c ee wor with something.1 In other trick you cant quite put youi the o , in ing y on, like the middle shell .and the carnival game. j foundt terms A A lot of slang e fZ in a p , become Art have gradually d thc 'vhat of the English language. tha exo. sr.ia Dickens! For instance, the s ale an ' , sion about a man being Thel meant Dodger. This originally a of going out who could get te fig tl wife to Art Exhibitions, and ' le 81 on t0 natural sequence vent out v o Pale g a guy who could get lie white , 1 thing. h'rn r an Oh well, I guess maybe t shad. I don't know an) thing about ' Morrisor 1,K'' I but I know what I like. n8 , I the to so funny pagersW'NU Scrv ' ar;; 1 ( . J 1 Bull Sjndlcate air i rcmpa, the |