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Show leave terrible doLocal law enforcement officials are trained to help women mestic situations. The conference was organized by an Advocacy Committee of different organizations such as Child Protection Services, HeadStart, Americorp, Youth and Families With Promise, Montezuma Creek Clinic, and community volunteers to provide trust and a "neighborhood watch" for all forms of abuse -both mental and physical. dating, marital, child, and elderly abuse Many efforts have been made to improve communication, education, facilities, and the availability of necessities for women and children who have escaped, THE SAN JUAN RECORD Wednesday, October 9, 2002 - Page 8 Domestic Violence letter (continued from page 7) Brandy Farmer, a Domestic Violence Program Coordinator for the Attorney Generals Office in Salt Lake City, was one of the "Thrivers" who spoke on why women do not simply leave their abusive relationship. She explained the effects of terrorism, mental and physical trauma, the mind after head injuries, gaslighting (driving someone crazy through psychological and for the upcoming refuge Gentle Ironhawk Womens Shelter (which has just had the ground broken for building and planed to be ready in the Fall 2003). stress disorder that are warfare), Stockholm Syndrome, and An example of such efforts was the food drive collected by Amber Hoagland, behavand emotional to These factors contribute commonly present in abuse. Melina Huavi, and Francine Coiao in May of this year. Julee Shumway offered ioral problems and require adjustments simply for the woman to survive. donations of childrens backpacks and clothing for the Womens Shelter. womans Survival is the key word. A violent man can eventually destroy a in Cortez, CO, was thrilled to give slightly tainted items ranging from incidents that of series a and proconfidence, reputation through clothes to diapers to be delivered for the shelter. in part, "Your donagressively lead to confusion and paranoia. When broken down, these women Oydnne MacDonald presented a letter of thanks stating as begin to deny the violence and focus on positive attributes of their partner tions have already helped five families. One a single unwed mother who was would otherwise where find in a situation to unconscious an they hope attempt pregnant. When she saw the items for her baby, her face lit up and she told me feel powerless and overwhelmed. Many women cannot conquer the guilt that she didnt think shed be able to afford to have things as nice as that for her baby. We carried out several boxes of food for her and she was able to find some clothes they caused the pain because they are told it is their fault. Most of the women resent and fear outside help (police, advocates, shelters, for herself. Thank you for giving hope to those whom are feeling hopeless." and family) for they know the retaliation that would come to them and or their For women in an abusive relationship, there is a flame of hope that can bechildren (if children are involved). come a roaring fire of strength. Safety, counseling, education, and friendship is So children. as abused were women abused of the majority Unfortunately, available just a phone call away. For advocates, lend an open ear and an open love how violence is explained away by an understanding of "thats life", that is eye for someone who may be in need of assistance or "links to a safety net." For in who women is expressed. However, there are many grow up the public, do not judge these women for being in an abusive relationship; there homes with a father who never hurt them mentally or physically. is more to the situation than what appearances may tell. Being completely unknowing of violent behavior, a woman may find herself I hope I was able to enlighten people about domestic violence and what I have someto once from is transformed in a relationship that charming something learned. Whether it is dating abuse, marital abuse, child abuse, or elderly abuse, or outbursts caused the of what her uncomprehending thing dreadful, leaving we all need to bond as a community and pull our members out from these hauntthe insults. She may begin taking on guilt and justifying the violence. ing darks rooms. You never know, one of these victims can become a wonderful Somehow "Thrivers". do become survive. deep contributor to our community if we only stay aware. They Fortunately, many women to to the their revitalizes someone or violence, stop courage inside, something Amanda Hillhouse, AmeriCorps member become free, and to regain confidence and independence as a strong individual. Abused women have many opportunities for help and counseling once they have accepted the trust of an outsider; an advocate. Domestic Violence Advocates were one of the topics discussed at the conference. Advocates are very effective links from violence to sanity. They are the ropes leading to the safety net. In San Juan County, advocates Lou Mueller and TITLE INSURANCE REAL ESTATE CLOSINGS Odynne MacDonald are Domestic Violence Specialists working through the Services and Sheriff's the SERVING SAN JUAN & GRAND COUNTIES Department. Department of Human post-traumat- ic Wal-Ma- rt self-estee- well-adjust- ed usa AGENCY miaaasisaciatm INSURANCE Daniel G. 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