OCR Text |
Show Josh BllUugs. Blesed are they who have no eye for a key-hole. A gentleman iz a gentleman the world over ; it iz only the loafers that differ. Tew get rid of cockroaches, sell yure house and lot. and fiee to the moan tains. A dog is the only thing on this earth that luves vu more than he luves himself. him-self. Opinyuns are like turnips, worth what they will fetch. Courage without disere.-hun iz like a ram with horns on both ends he will hav more fights on hand than he kan do iustiss to. The man whs wont beiieTe enny thing he can't see, aint so wise as a mule, for they will kick at a thing in the dark. Don't undertake tew live with yure mother-in-law, but if wuss cums tew a wussness, let your mother-in-law liv with yu. Lazynes is a pood deal like money the more a man has of it the more he seems tew want. Gravity is no more positive evidence ov wisdom than a paper collar is ov a shirt. Every time a man laffs he takes a kink out ov the chain ov life, and thus lengthens it. A coquette in luv is as tame as a bottle ov pop that has stood sum time with the cork pulled out. I don't kno o ennything more remorseless, re-morseless, on the face ov the earth, than 7 per cent, interest Three score years and ten i man's furlo, and it is enuff ; if a man can t suffer all the misery he wants iu that time, he must be dumb. To make boarding house hash, take a little of everything, a good deal of nothing, and throw in a chunk of sum- thing ; jam to a mux, cook over a bold fire, season with hair pins, and serve upon the jum. |